Friday, February 2, 2018

For 2018

A sudden desire to reread The Alchemist again. It’s almost 10 years since first reading it. 2010 I believe, the years are getting blurry and how time flies year by year month by month week by week. Perhaps I really miss the feeling of potent wonder, magic of the universe and childlike hope that the fable transported me to. Used to be so boxed up in reality and practicality that I could never imagine how a fictional story could be of any good application other than to bring you to a fascinating dream world to escape from the drudgery of life.

Never did I expect how it would touch my heart and soul, this Shepard boy story. Nevertheless, myself don’t identify with Santiago, for all that he is, there is a tinge of dreariness to Santiago inner being or so I thought previously, which I don’t identify with in myself. Because I’m innately too optimistic perhaps. Or maybe I’m just not the overtly contemplative sentimental that Santiago is.
The most I like about Santiago is the expression of his vulnerability, the openness to vulnerability at the hands of destiny, the stars and the universe.

2018 is calling me to be vulnerable again, I have been feeling it for some time, and I feel ready. The knowing that the key at this time could possibly be to be open to being vulnerable to the dices of destiny, come what may. With the belief that it would always turn out to be right in the end, as Long as you surrender. Now I have so much strength than before, no longer the doubting, the fumbling, lost in the waves. Now I know I stand strong when the waves come but I know there is a good vulnerability around the corner.

2018 is the year of master number 11 and it will be a time of high sensitivity for everyone.

Recall all the past times when I followed my heart and know when it is right.

When the time is right, not before, not after. You will feel it in your bones.

I need to harness and connect to that vulnerability again. That destiny has a plan, maybe a guideline, and I’m finally feeling it, preparing for it, waiting for it.

How was I not intuned at all until perhaps 2011. I see the footprints of intuition now. How I wanted to learn violin bought a violin and later found out that was probably an indication that the soulmate I would met plays the voilin orchestra. How I had a first vivid dream of an apartment that I would hunt down which later transpired exactly like my dream. How I make wrong decisions whenever I am anxious and later dream of leaving a job and ending up to be the right decision to be made. Perhaps the veil is getting thinner and thinner. I really hope I would grow at the same rate or even more in the next 10 years, what will it bring, how will I change, how would I feel looking back at now 2017 2018. Would I be able to see the hands of destiny clearly at play once more. As they say, a soul contract. Would I have better understanding and acceptance and rise up to fulfill my soul contract, I ponder.

Would I have resolved the conflicts of my beliefs? Seeing the balance in the play of free will and destiny or perhaps seeing that both are not the case or perhaps it is a case of alittle but of both. The secrets of the workings, would I have a conclusive illumination or would I just have to contend to have a chance to play to discover abit of both.



Thursday, March 9, 2017

We are asking too much out of our Lives

As I grew older last year and this year, and people around me getting bored with their careers or lack thereof, having a child or more, planning for the new big adventure(s), suddenly I asked myself:

Aren't we all asking too much out of our short lives?!

Friday, July 29, 2016

Gem of all TV shows

The soul and ways of a culture can be understood through its language, and that's why I'm practically watching all previous episodes of 非诚勿扰 .

When my hubby first told me that there are a lot of life philosophy to be gleaned from it, I thought he was trying to be funny and find it strange why he would enjoy watching a dating show other than because of pretty women. But since the last 2 weeks when I watched The Family (CNA documentary also worth watching) on Toggle and happened to have enough curiosity (?) to sit through the entire episode of 非诚勿扰 despite the sometimes seemingly uninteresting male contestants, I felt like I've stumbled upon the gem of all TV shows. Having watched probably 20 or so 45min episodes of the show, I feel as though I've gained a lot of wisdom (?) from a Chinese dating show. There are even apparently many people who don't understand any mandarin yet enjoy watching the show as well. Such is the popularity of it, though I don't understand why they would watch it in this case.

Kind of amusing how when hubby came from the Burmese class he's been going to for the past half-year expressing his amazement at how unsuspectingly complex Burmese writing can be, myself was lost in appreciation of the numerous Chinese sayings that are showcased on the show. Somehow the
Chinese language has that ability that allows everyone who can understand it to grasp the meaning exactly as how it was intended to mean when it is said by someone. It captures the essence of the intended communication like no other language is capable of doing.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Meditations on Intention and Being

I think this book is what got me to restart blogging.
It's not another New Age book, it's a book on Yoga and Life. Or is Yoga a New Age by some definition?

Strange that despite having read many Buddhist books and New Age books, none has ever had the effect that this book had on me. No, I shouldn't be putting Buddhist books on the same line as New Age books with the same comparison. That's doing injustice as books on Buddhism are filled with solid hard truths of wisdom and empirical insights which went to my head but nevertheless, despite my attempt to push it to into my heart it doesn't connect to the heart nor stayed there longer than a few days if it did. Meanwhile, New Age books are airy-fairy whiffs of nice sounding positive and affirming statements, which might have filled me with ponderances of some confidence in these statements. But I was sorely disappointed after reading the likes of Eckhart Tolle.

This book really hit me, perhaps by the way some punchlines are written.

The biggest effect I noticed was that I walk much slower now without the incessant impatience in the heart.

The other effect would be that I have come to a new level of personal realization on the large impact that feelings - sensory feelings from our skin covering the entire body and the inner feelings of emotions - have on us, our reactions, perceptions and our well-being.

Perhaps the stars were aligned and no matter what book I had read I would have come to such a transmutation.

Right Action, Right Speech, Right Thought and then there's this Right Consumption which this book introduced as a one-liner.

Right Consumption of Food and of Activities
for This Body that is a Temple and this Mind that is the Altar of the Temple.

 The same thing in a new light.

Thankful for everything that brought me Here

It's 11:11am on a working weekday and I get to work from home, looking out the living room window to a forested view with a temple embedded in it. 

Thinking to myself it's amazing (each time I look out of the window it always feels amazing, even though it's already been a couple of years).

Having this kind of peaceful, idyllic view in a place like Singapore? Though vehicle traffic is mildly audible but it's almost on the same decible as the sounds of birds from within the forest. It's a view I never dreamt possible (but it was exactly a dream I had in my sleep that drove me to come again to this place when house hunting when I had skipped over it the first time round - ahhh those were the days when I probably had a sharp spike in my intuition).

The forested view and the birds that come to visit each morning, afternoon and evening sometimes quietly, sometimes chirpily are the most amazing part of living here.

Most of times the birds are grey or brown pigeons even one albino! And occasionally colorful birds that I don't even know the names of - dark and bright blue birds and yellow ones do hang around for a short while too at the window ledges. Thank G.O.D (good orderly direction) they seldom poo during their visits.

More about the particular dream, I don't dream often but way before this process of getting this flat, I had this short but pretty vivid dream where I was standing inside a flat looking out and there was a temple at a 45 degs angle. And then I turned around in the dream and smiled or greeted. 

A few years later during actual flat hunting, I silently kept that impression in my mind, knowing it's a crazy weird demand to ask the real estate agent to bring us to flats with a temple view within a very focused area we were looking for. So I just went along to whichever she brought us, and out of probably 10 or so flats we went to, there was only 1 with a temple view which was at a direct angle facing. I tried hard to get that place as I saw a Buddha statue and a theravada scripture book in that flat too and I thought it would be nice to buy from such owners. But the owners had an unrealistically high asking price they were unwilling to let up. So I gave up looking. But within the same or next week, I still believed in the materiality of that dream and could not believe it's not despite the incredulousness of it. And by that time I had let in on both my hubby and the real estate agent about the dream and the agent especially thought I was mad because convention was that it is undesirable to live facing a temple. 

I was between having given up and still believing that I took things into my own hands and investigated which flat has a temple angle using a map. And I found one that had it and asked to view the flat. Reaching the bottom of the Hdb I realized I've already viewed that flat and I was not interested to go up again as I clearly didn't remember any temple view from it. But since we were there already and had met the agent again, we were embarrassed and went up as an unintended second viewing. 

When I asked if a temple can be seen from the Hdb flat, the owners didn't know - because they had partially drawn curtains and their sofas were against the windows. Clearly they were more interested in looking at TV than the view outside. I knew according to the map that it should so I leaned over the large sofa and pulled back the curtain (quite an amount of straining) to discover it provided an exactly 45 angle of temple view that I had in my sleep.

I couldn't believe it. Did NOT have a deja vu moment as in my dream I did not have to go through such neck and body strain. In my dream I was easily standing at the window feeling a quiet sense of contentment and seeing a Buddhist temple at an angled degree as I looked down across. But I knew that this is it, I know once after renovation, painting the walls white like it was in the dream and some furniture configuration that it would be just like I had seen it in sleep.

The price we offered was immediately accepted by the owners and a smooth exchange took place, with zero hiccups. It was clearly meant to be.

Despite the fact that I don't visit this temple, the forest view is what I've come to appreciate more. But the bell sounding of about 20 times every Sunday evening from the temple makes me feel so zen and fills me with tranquility just by looking out the windows from my desk or living room.

Seeking changes to come, reminding myself of the truth of ever changing conditions, and agreeing with what a book (Meditation on Intentions and Being) I've been reading said that humans are naturally inclined to seek for movement.


Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Blogging Restart in July 2016

An attempt at restarting a blog.

Where to BEGIN typing? Somewhere productive is ideal.

I asked my hubby what to write about, I said how about book reviews and he said follow the example of Marry Thai Girl blog and write a Marry Singapore Guy blog. HAHAHA! Just as I'm typing this it started to rain - a sign of universal consensus perhaps ha!

He said it's sure to bring more traffic than a blog on books.

I forgot if it was me or my hubby that first saw this blog and for some reason or other, he still visits it now and then. I can understand why - this Singaporean guy married to Thai girl writes about various topics a person in his/her 30s is interested in, in short things which are quite boring in nature but it's fun to know what's the dull household things occurring in another Singaporean's life. This guy even openly talks about his 5 year plan and updates about whether or not he achieved it.

As of this moment, I'm still undecided. I desire to create something productive in the web space that does not promulgate unwholesome vibes or useless junk yet I don't know what's the unknown that I should type about.

Too rusty with this, I couldn't even remember the account and trying to get a new template design seems so impossible.