Part of a system, I am

The Alchemist & the Shepard

2012-02-12T23:02:00.000+08:00

"They crossed the desert for another two days in silence.
.. As they moved along, the boy tried to listen to his heart.
.. 'why do we have to listen to our hearts?' the boy asked when they had made camp that day.

'because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure.'

'but my heart is agitated,' they boy said. 'it has it's dreams, it gets emotional, and it's become passionate over a wOman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keepsake from sleeping many nights, when I'm thinking about her.'

'well, that's good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say.'

During the next three days, the two travellers passed by a number of armed tribesmen, and saw others on the horizon. The boy's heart began to speak of fear. It told him stories it had heard from the Soul of the World, stories of men who sought to find their treasure and never succeeded. Sometimes it frightened the boy with the idea that he might not find his treasure, or that he might die there in the desert. At other times, it told the boy that it was satisfied: it had found love and riches.

'My heart is a traitor,' the boy said to the alchemist when they had paused to rest the horses. 'it doesn't want me to go on.'

'that makes sense,' the alchemist answered. 'naturally it's afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you've won.'

'well, then, why should I listen toy heart?'

'because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what youre thinking about life and about the world.'

'you mean I should listen, even of its treasonous?'

'treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you'll know it's dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them. ...'

The boy continued to listen to his heart as they crossed the desert. He came to understand its dodges and tricks, and to accept it as it was.

He lost his fear, and forgot about his need to go back to the oasis, because, one afternoon, his heart told him that it was happy. "even though I complain sometimes," it said, "it's because I'm the heart of a person an people's hearts are that way."

"we, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly."

"my heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

The Alchemist (Part 1)

2012-02-05T15:04:00.003+08:00

'On the seventh day, the alchemist decided to make camp earlier than usual...

'you are almost at the end of your journey,' said the alchemist. 'I congratulate you for have pursued your Personal Legend.'

'And you've told me nothing along the way'" said the boy. "I thought you were going to teach me some of the things you know. A while ago, I rode through the desert with a man who had books on alchemy. But I wasn't able to learn anything from them."

"there is only one way to learn," the alchemist answered. "it's through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey. You need to learn only one thing more."

The boy wanted to know what that was, but the alchemist was searching the horizon, looking for the falcon.
"why are you called the alchemist?"

"And what went wrong when other alchemists tried to make gold and were unable to do so?"

"They were only looking for gold, they were seeking the treasure of their Personal Legend, without wanting to actually live out the Personal Legend."

"I'm an alchemist simply because I'm an alchemist," he said as he prepared the meal. "I learned the science from my grandfather, who learned from his father, and so on, back to the creation of the world. In those times, the Master Work could be written simply on an emerald. Buten began to reject simple things, and to write tracts, interpretations, and philosophical studies. They also began to feel that they knew a better way than others had. Yet the Emerald Tablet is still alive today."

"what was written on the Emerald Tablet?" the boy wanted to know.

The alchemist began to draw in the sand, and completed his drawing in less than five minutes.

The boy tried to read what was written in the sand.

"it's a code," said the boy, a bit disappointed.

"No," the alchemist answered. "it can't be understood by reason alone. The Emerald Tablet is a direct passage to the Soul of the World."

"should I understand the Emerald Tablet?" asked the boy.

"Perhaps, if you are in a laboratory of alchemy, this would be the right time to study the best way to understand the Emerald Tablet. But you are in the desert. So immerse yourself in it. The desert will give you an understanding of the world; in fact, anything on the face of the earth will do that. You don't even have to understand the desert: all you have to do is contemplate a simple grain of sand, and you will see in it all the marvels of creation."

"How do I immerse myself in the desert?"

"Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there."

Have you Ever Seen the Rain

2012-02-05T09:25:00.000+08:00

Someone told me long ago
There's a calm before the storm
I know, and its been coming for sometime
When its over so they say
It'll bring a sunny day
I know, shining down like water

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a sunny day

Yesterday and days before
Sun is cold and rain is hot
I know, been that way for all my time
Till forever on it goes
Fill the circle fast and slow
I know, and I cant stop my wonder

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a sunny day

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a sunny day

Have you ever seen the rain

Saturday Nights

2012-02-04T21:04:00.001+08:00

Chilling out on this Saturday night. This is a song that really suit my style.

After a 5 days week of tiredness, I really needed to rejuvenate myself and so I sat in meditation around 5 min short of 1hr. It did felt good. But consistancy is key, and I made a vow to myself to sit min X times a week. Getting away from all the ideas, all the talking, all the seeing is a great relief.

Human life is indeed a unique and rare existance.. it's complex; it's constantly in a flux externally and internally, so much so that there are always time for everyone of us to learn, to just be, to destroy, rebuild, create, and so much more.

The child is meeting his/her mother

2011-11-05T13:36:00.002+08:00

Sometime last week i went down during lunchtime with an ex-colleague to the Kwan Yin temple (3rd time in this year since i learnt how to "do it in the right way"). And i got Lot 57. From the past drawn Lots, they have been exeedingly relevant in reflecting the situation. Now is the time to wait, do and see....who/what is the 'mother' whom I'm destined to meet

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Poem No. 80

Meaning: The wise man comes to greet you.
Comments: It is the time for you to shine. Be determined, self-reliant, and ambitious. Now, it is the time to move forward. It is the time to pursue dreams that will make your life more meaningful.

A little bit of intuition or spirit can guide you now. This could be a new beginning for those who are spiritually attuned.
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Poem No. 27

Meaning: A nice, well-situated house with solid foundation and walls.
Comments: As a result of your tireless efforts, you are being awarded with material success. Share your secure, comfortable life with your loved ones.

There's good fortune through family. Stabilize feelings and family with a guided, loving hand.

*note: very relevant Lot, as I had in that instance ask if the job i had accepted would bring me well being.
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Poem No. 57

Meaning: The child is meeting his/her mother.

Comments: Maternal love, reunion joy. Nothing can replace the love between the mother and her child. Attend social events and enjoy the natural spirit of joy and friendship. Become the loving counselor to all you meet.

Someone you are destined to meet comes along. Bonds with loved ones bring warmth, fun and fulfillment. Relax and let loose a little, enjoy the comforts surrounding you and show the love in your heart.
-----------

'Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow'

2011-11-01T22:59:00.000+08:00

Mr Steve Jobs said 'oh wow oh wow oh wow' as his last words. What could have so amazed him, I wonder.

Below is a good writeup on the Buddhism (Zen) relation to Steve Jobs.

http://blogs.plos.org/neurotribes/2011/10/28/what-kind-of-buddhist-was-steve-jobs-really/

"It's not about 'promoting' Buddhism (Zen) or how congruent and incongruent Steve Jobs was with the practice of Buddhism. It is the little specks of the Dharma here and there that is enjoyable to read about.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

“‘You’ve got to make the back of the fence that nobody will see just as good-looking as the front of the fence. Even though nobody will see it, you will know, and that will show that you’re dedicated to making something perfect.”

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.” Suzuki didn’t want his senior students to take a seat on the cushion each morning feeling like Zen adepts who had been there and done that. He wanted them to approach meditation with the open-minded curiosity of an amateur trying it for the first time. Apple devices, you might say, are sophisticated tools for evoking, supporting, and sustaining shoshin, beginner’s mind."

Personally I find that to be a really creavite way of giving a live, spiritual dimension to Apple devices to say the very least.

Postcard from Heaven

2011-10-21T23:21:00.009+08:00

The most amazing thing about life to me is that I get to experience it. Life will not be Life if it is a book to be read, to be told, to be heard, to be seen, to be imagined.
I will not say that I love life. Neither will I say that I hate life. But I'm kind of dreading the weariness, the unsatisfactoriness out of it. Yet! There remains some many fasinating aspects of life that it is actually worth living. It's like a dreadful lesson but a remarkable lesson nonetheless.

There are lessons to be learnt, there are things to be understood, there are improvements to be made, there are solutions to be carried out, there are resolutions to be made, there are choices to be made, there are things (mental, physical, emotional) to be let go of slowly one by one

There is kindness to be shown,
there is hope to be given,
there is service to be given,
there is love to be given unconditionally,
there is freedom of mind to be experienced,
there is the breath to be appreciated,
there is the openess of heart to be experienced,
there is wisdom to be gained,
there is pain to be felt with full acceptance,
there is suffering to be known with full acceptance,
there are things worth striving for,
there are many many evolutions to be made,
there are many many unknowns to be left unknown,
there are many many growth to be experienced

North Node Astrology

2011-10-21T14:54:00.001+08:00

It is said that if all of astrology is disregarded but one, then the True Node/North Node is the most indicative of one's direction in life. I would say that the interpretion for mine resonates well.

Maybe you'll be curious about yours as well.

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North Node is the direction of development
********

The Taurus energy you’re learning about in this lifetime resonates strongly to the old saying “What you see is what you get.” Actually, let’s tweak that phrase a little to read “What you see – and touch – and can use – is what you want to get.” That really nails down the kind of information that Taurus is best at accumulating and sharing. Not for you lots of high-fallutin’ theoretical pie-in-the-sky mumbo jumbo. The world needs that kind of thinking, but it’s someone else’s department. It also needs your kind of thinking: “how to” ideas; practical ideas; concrete, realistic and reliable ideas; useful ideas.

Here’s one Taurus North Node in the Third House example. Let’s say you spent your professional life as a project manager for a construction company that specializes in residential building. Although you never went to college, by the time you retired you acquired invaluable hands-on knowledge about what can go right and what can go wrong that rivals any top-notch architect’s grasp of the situation. Six months of vacations, fixing up the house, and building the long-awaited gazebo in the back yard, and retirement is starting to feel like a big fat ton of idle-time bricks on your back. So you join up with the local volunteer house-building initiative and, without even thinking about it, find just the audience that can benefit from what took you thirty-five years to learn. Who knows? You might even pick up a few pointers yourself!

******
South Node is the direction of the past
******

With your Ninth House South Node in the sign of Scorpio, you’ve spent lifetimes grappling with deep philosophical questions, diving into the core of life’s meaning, intently focused on what lay below the surface of existence. It was hard to come up out of those waters long enough to bring what you found to light and have it have any useful application in the “real” world. If you’re not careful, the pull of that karmic past can be strong enough to and keep you swimming in those dark circles in this lifetime, when what you can see and touch and experience and use is the real order of business.

What you see is what you get. And give

********

Kwan Yin Advice

2011-10-19T09:06:00.004+08:00

Some weeks ago I got Lot 80 from the divinity advice from Kwan Yin temple. Really liked that advice, the first sentence. Gonna have it here as a reference.

Stick to Your task from start to end as strong and firm as your powers permit.

No matter what you have in mind to do, there will come a savior to lead you on."

I've always known myself to be strong and i don't quit unless I'm convinced it is of little value or counter productive to pursue otherwise.

Sometimes I think it is not the Kwan Yin goddness responding to my enquiry but a reflection of our inner conscious/wisdom.

Contentedness

2011-10-15T23:19:00.000+08:00

Peacefully begining the journey on a new book read Eight Mindful Steps To Happiness (walking the buddha's path) by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana. Also the author of Mindfulness in Plain English.

Pleasantly contented at the thought of landing a transition to another job which I presently believe I would enjoy for the next 1 year.

Joyful at the thought of an independent get-away trip from modern civilization and into a short period of timelessness.

Couldn't be anymore happy :)

MTV Day

2011-10-08T17:07:00.001+08:00

The Chinese, Japanese often make better pop songs then the West. And this is my favourite non-love love song.

And Cranberries make terribly good songs that makes sense.

Close your eyes, close your eyes

Breathe the air, out there
We are free, we can be
Wide open

For you I open my eyes
To the beauty I see
We we will pray,
We we will stay
Wide open

Don’t analyse
Don’t analyse
Don’t go that way
Don’t lead that way
That would paralyse your evolution

Don’t analyse
Don’t analyse
Don’t go that way
Don’t lead that way
That would paralyse your evolution

Lalala this greatest moment
Lalala the strangest day
Lalala the greatest love of them all

Lalala. this greatest moment
Lalala, the strangest day
Lalala, the greatest love of them all

Close your eyes
Close your eyes
Breathe the air, out there
Fantazise, fantazise
We are open

For you I open my eyes
To the beauty I see
We we will pray
We we will stay ...together

Lalala, this greatest moment
Lalala, the strangest day
Lalala, the greatest love of them all

Lalala, this greatest moment
Lalala, the strangest day
Lalala, the greatest love of them all

Oh, my life is changing everyday,

In every possible way.
And oh, my dreams, it's never quite as it seems,
Never quite as it seems.

I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,
Because it came from you.
And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,
A different way to be.

I want more impossible to ignore,
Impossible to ignore.
And they'll come true, impossible not to do,
Impossible not to do.

And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me.
You're what I couldn't find.
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;

You're everything to me.

Oh, my life,
Is changing every day,
In every possible way.

And oh, my dreams,
It's never quite as it seems,
'Cause you're a dream to me,
Dream to me.

Whom to Follow

2011-10-05T00:00:00.002+08:00

Saw this on facebook http://www.facebook.com/#!/notes/buddha-vacana/daily-buddha-vacana-for-04-october-2011/257979954237111

and found it to provide a good gauge.

**********************
277. What sort of person should not be followed? In this case, a person who is inferior to oneself in morality, concentration and wisdom is not to be followed, served or honoured except out of consideration and compassion for him. And what sort of person should be followed? In this case, a person who is equal to oneself in morality, concentration and wisdom should be followed, served and honoured, thinking: "As we are both proficient in morality, concentration and wisdom, our conversation will center on these things and it will contribute to our profit and comfort."

And what sort of person is to be followed, served, honoured, and worshipped with reverence? In this case, a person who is superior to oneself in morality, concentration and wisdom should first be reverently worshipped and then followed, served, and honoured, thinking: "In this way I shall complete the morality, concentration and wisdom which is not yet complete and supplement that which is."

Anguttara Nikaya I.125
******************

It may seem obvious, but sometimes it slips our mind and reasoning; It may seem high and above some, but to have higher ideals always bring one one step higher than he may otherwise be at.
.

Ajahn Chah in 1979

2011-10-04T01:42:00.001+08:00

I've just read finished the book on Sunday, got it on Saturday.

Meditation, Samadhi Bhavana by Ven Ajahn Chah

Helps that it's a small simple book. I hate vexing unneccessarily, trying to fully understand difficult to understand concepts. Hate is a strong word, but just for simplicity sake.

A very complete book for those who are more or less familiar with meditation to the very experienced ones. It's a wonder. Was it so hip in the 70s? The book was a transcript for a talk given by Ajahn Chan to lay Buddhists at the Hampstead Vihara, London 20th May 1979.

It was the summer of 1979....

Success in accordance to Universal Laws

2011-09-24T06:21:00.001+08:00

Books are inifinite in number, and time is short,

therefore the secret of knowledge is to take what is essential.

Take that and try to live up to it.

-Swami Viekananda

"Inspiration is a wonderful girft to give ourselves each day."

Success in life can be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.

There are many aspects to success; material wealth is only one of them.

Moreover, success is a journey not a destination.

Material abundance, in all its expresions, happens to make the journey more enjoyable, but sucess

includes good heath, energy and enthusiasm for life, fulfilling relationships, creative freedom, and a sense of well-being.

'THE LAW OF PURE POTENTIALITY

The first spiritual law of success, the Law of Pure Potentiality, says that our essential state is one of pure potentiality. Pure potentiality is pure consciousness, it is the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity. Our physical body, the physical universe - everything in the material world - comes from the same place: a field of silent, unmoving awareness from which anything is possible. There is no separation between this field of energy and our spiritual essence, our Self. (please don't be Quick to oppose & argue this with non-Self teaching) This field is our own Self. And when we know that our essential nature is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe.

Knowing who we really are gives us the ability to fulfill any dream we have, because the same field that nature uses to create a forest, a galaxy, or a human body can also bring about the fulfillment of our desires. Anything is possible in the field of pure potentiality, because this field is the source of all power, all intelligence, and infinite organizing ability.

Therefore, success in life depends on knowing who we really are.

When our internal reference point is our spirit, our true Self, we experience all the power of our spirit. When our internal reference point is the ego or self-image, we feel cut off from our source, and the uncertainty of events creates fear and doubt. The ego is influenced by objects outside the Self - circumstances, people, and things. It thrives on the approval of others. It wants to control, because it lives in fear. But the ego is not who we really are. The ego is our social mask, it is the role we are playing.

The need for approval, the need to control things, and the need for external power are fear based. This kind of power is not the power of pure potentiality, the power of the Self, or true power. Self-power is true power because it is based on the laws of nature, and comes from the knowledge of the Self. Self-power draws things that we want to us, it magnetizes people, situations, and things to support our desires This support from the laws of nature is the state of grace. When we are in harmony with nature, we create a bond between our own desires and the power to make these desires materialize.

How can you experience the Law of Pure Potentiality? One way is through the practice of silence and meditation. This means tuning out the world and taking time to simply Be.

In the Bible is the expression 'Be still, and know that I am God'.

Stillness is the first requirement for manifesting your desires, because in stillness you connect with the field of pure awareness and infinite organizing power.

Practicing nonjudgement is another way to experience the Law of Pure Potentiality.

When you are constantly judging things as right or wrong, good or bad, you create alot of turbulence in your internal dialogue. This turbulence constricts the flow of energy between you and the field of pure potentiality. In the silent space between your thoughts is a state of pure awareness, an inner stillness that connects you to true power. Through the practice of nonjudgement, you silence your mind and access your inner stillness.

Another way to experience the Law of Pure Potentiality is to spend time in nature.

By observing nature you begin to sense the harmonious interaction of all the elements and forces of life. The lavish display of abundance in the universe is an expression of the creative mind of nature. Just by tuning in to the mind of nature, you will access the field of pure potentiality and infinite creativity, and spontaneously receive creative thoughts.'

Buddhism and Empiricism

2011-09-22T21:19:00.000+08:00

Got the article below from Ajahn Sujato's blog.

http://www.srilankaguardian.org/2011/08/buddhism-and-empiricism.html

Although I found articles like this to be interesting and fasinating, truely it is ineffective in it's purpose of re-instating Buddhism in any way.

In fact, I feel upset, that a piece of Buddhism is cut out from it's whole, then measured against an ideology of Empiricism. Is Empiricism a truth? How is Empiricism defined?

If part of it does not align with Empiricism does it conclude that Buddhism is illogical?
If part of it does align with Empiricism does it conclude that Buddhism is a logically and experiencially straightforward knowledge-matter?

This would only be good enough for a college debate, which leads to everyone debating with nothing much to take away but egos, viewpoints, opinions.

Faith (new)

2011-09-09T02:25:00.001+08:00

So I have been reading the slim book Last Days of the Buddha (The Maha parinibbana sutta translated from the Pali by Sister Vajira & Francis Story, Buddhist publication society, Sri Lanka).

Bought about 5 copies of it, each for SGD6, not free, neither cheap nor expensive imo, but intangible value, FYI only, please print more!!! More more :p

Thus we have heard that a sutta is to be studied. A study indeed is the worthy veneration that ought to be treated with a sutta - especially the longest of the all 34 suttas that make up the Digha Nikaya (pls forgive my keyboard's inability to highlight the intonations of the Pali words)which is the Maha Parinibbana Sutta.Length is not the qualifying factor for the richness of this sutta, but it's capability to behold the essential 'summary' teachings of the Buddha in words as well as displaying:
-intentions of the Buddha in various situations
-reponse of the Buddha in various situTions
-beliefs of the Buddha in various situations
-personalities of various Bhikkhus
-reactions and responses of various Bhikkhus in accordance to their different personalities and stages of spiritual attainments
-reactions and responses of devas
-reactions and responses if layman and laywoman inaccordance to their personalities
-and I believe there are much more to it

Not once but twice or thrice is the issue of Faith brought up in the 'conversation' between the Buddha and Ananda (in this sutta). Once the Buddha questioned Ananda if he had Faith in the Buddha's Enlightenment. Secondly when the Buddha said that Ananda had out of faith, spoken thus: Marvellous it is, O Lord, most wonderful it is! This faith I have in the community of Bhikkhus, that not even one Bhikkhu is in doubt or perplexity as to the Buddha, the dhamma, or the sangha, the path or the practice.

TBC...

Continuing with this Faith. Pardon my disjointedness.

(these are all my personal interpretations, please feel free to access) Faith requires a integration of belief, leaving no sceptic behind; Faith requires a solid, stable basis; Faith requires that things be whichever way the coin falls.

Faith frees us from worry and unproductive perplexity; Faith produces greater fruit than if otherwise;

HEEDlessNess

2011-09-06T23:15:00.001+08:00

Once and for all, i'd like to state that i don't desire to be preachy, am not highly conceited, in case you're already being heedless to this post.

Everyday's a journey and this post's journey is on the quality of Heedlessness.

Heedlessness made its presence aware one day through its (rather unfortunate) consequence - WHICH i had sort of expected.

It does take some amount of objective root cause analysis to digg where Heedlessness sprouts up. Often, Heedlessness is mentioned where awareness of the concerned matter is already present. Heedlessness implies that what is a good path of action/choice/advice is not taken (consciously ignored) due to a multitude of reasons.

The array of reasons range from rebellion for the sake of it, lack of attention, slight inconvenience, sloth, huge inconvenience, preferences, dislikes etc etc

Heedlessness will be left hanging in the air, So long as it is made aware.

*the word 'Heedlessness' is in the context commonly found in Buddhist texts. and some kmowledge and understanding of these texts are presumed.

Mono

2011-08-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

Having many things to write about but not sure what to write about. What do i want to convey or do i want to convey anything at all. today i just write for the non-desire to convey anything. just a monologue.

a monologue

starting with how i got so drained. despite recalling how overcharged i was in the same day. how melancholy appeared where cheerfulness once was in the same day. can't find any good, sizable reason for this mystery. how can someone who i thought had the most positive energy find herself in a melancholic spot for no apparent reason. could it be that i'm missing a lucky charm, but that wouldn't be correct.

a monologue is quiet and peaceful

awareness

continued awareness

impermanance

awareness

continued awareness

and there... it becomes

Time of our lives

2011-07-21T22:11:00.002+08:00

Ms Right

2011-07-18T21:36:00.001+08:00

One of the best illustration of egocentrism. And it's not uncommon to see this manifestation.

This is their pattern of occurance - starting off with they are right, right because they feel they are right, right because they know they are right, right because they have been right all along, right because everyone tells them they are right, right because they want to maintain that they are right. Regardless or not they are wrong.

2nd stage goes like this - I have been right in other matters (no matter how remote and irrelevant). So - naturally I am right in this matter.

3rd stage goes like this - it may be so that you are right in your way and I too am right in my way. So - I am still right.

4th incredible stage - you are right in your way, I am right in my way, Everyone cannot be and Noone is right at the same time in the same way. So - there is no such notion as Right. There is only Universal Difference.

5th incredible fallacy - since there is only Universal Difference, i am different from the universe and if I am subjectively right according to myself, I must be Universally Right.

Such egocentricism comes about from the unawereness that there already is a map of the world whether or not they choose to recognize it. Whether or not they think they are walking West when they are walking East, they will arrive in the East.

Connectedness

2011-06-23T23:11:00.000+08:00

Elie wiesel is the Nobel Peace Prize winning author of the book Night.

He witnessed the murders of his friends and family in the Nazi concentration camps, yet went on to talk about it from a survivor point of view.

Elie Wiesel once said that we are all connected by pain.
We are all connected. By love, by pain and sometimes by major events.

Each one of us travels a very specific and unique journey yet are all connected and in this connectedness there is life.

Nothing that I do ever proves me worthy, nothing that you do will ever prove that you are worthy. We are worthy simply because we are. - Charlie Gay

a landscape Of Sorts

2011-06-08T01:30:00.012+08:00

On Specialized Knowledge -

"those who make this mistake do not understand the meaning of the word 'educate'. that word is derived from the Latin word 'educo', meaning to educe, to draw out, to develop from within. an educated man is not, necessarily, one who has an abundance of general or specialized knowledge. an educated man is one who has so developed the faculties of his mind that he may acquire anything he wants, or its equivalent, without violating the rights of others. ..."

so are the many many amusing little little knowledgable little things -

1. an amusing story teller of an astoundingly-hilariously subtlety-specific-story
2. a ???? consistantly bringing up glorious bygones and making highly audible promises of making-a-star-in-the-making
3. a yet-to-be-found-to-be-amusing effective and creative problem solver putting the i to shame
4. a lost/helpless/clueless or ???? who is seriously lost-in-translation in home ground and everyone's waiting to lose their patience
5. an unimposing all-imposing force unflaggingly feeding for i.m.p.ro.ve.ment
6. a smiley big balinese booming out of silence to whisper the need to say sorry whenever and wherever in the wrong

Surrendering

2011-05-30T00:36:00.008+08:00

Today, I have to write on a relatively new topic. Surrendering.

According to the dictionary, Surrendering means to Cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.

For some of us, surrendering to an opponent may come easy. Some of us may find it difficult to do so, and opt for a fight to the end. It's strange, but with life and certain aspects of practicing the Dharma, they require us to surrender when the time and situation calls for it.

Surrendering could become a healthy and right form of letting go.

A reqlinquishing of a control which issn't ours to behold.

A submittion to a higher authority - which is of course Nature. Nature has the highest authority over us. Suffering belongs to Nature, sickness, and a whole mass of other things.

Only through surrendering does the vulnerability of existance unveils. It's apparent that mankind has been masking this vulnerability - through denials, through falsehoods, through counter actions, through fortresses...

In the end, the power of Nature prevails. Would putting up all the resistances that might could carry hold against the all emcompassing Nature?

Nevertheless, there's a stark difference between the spirit of Surrendering vs Giving Up.

1) When you surrender, you are calm. When you give up, you are exasperated.

2) When you surrender, doors open. When you give up, you slam the doors shut.

3) When you surrender, you soar to unknown heights. When you give up, you delve into the depths of despair.

Considering them, you will understand the difference.

Considering these, I come to think of the great people I've read about who have surrenderred to the highest authority - but only when brandishing their will brings them no further, and even further away.

To finish it off. Surrendering to the highest authority coincides at the same point where Faith is placed.

Evolution

2011-05-24T23:31:00.002+08:00

Evolution vs change. A change is just a change, big or small difference, for better or worse, for a purpose or without, initiated or resultant. Things around us change. And therefore we must evolve. If everything remains the same, the body, the world around us, then there is no greatly evident need to evolve.

Because everything outside and inside of us change, evolving ourselves is the solution to managing this fact of change. To evolve ourselves repeatedly with each reprogramming, developing a more learned model each time.

With that is the algorithm of evolution-

One by one,
Little by little,
Moment by moment,
A wise man should remove his own impurities,
As a smith removes the dross from silver.
(from the dhammapada)

Vesak, Vesakha - A sense of Urgency

2011-05-17T22:01:00.002+08:00

A Vesak day once again, and happy Vesak to all.

SN 22:78

The Lion

Monks, in the evening the lion, the king of beasts, comes out from his lair. He then stretches himself, surveys the four quarters all around, and roars his lion's roar three times, after which he sets out in search of game.

When the lion, the king of beats, roars its lion's roar, most of the animals that hear the sound are filled with fear, a sense of urgency, and terror. Those who live in holes enter their holes; those who live in the water enter the water; those who live in the woods enter the woods; and the birds fly up into the air. Even those royal bull elephants, bound by strong thongs in the villages, towns, and capital cities, burst and break their bonds asunder; frightened, they urinate and defecate and flee here and there. So powerful among the animals, monks, is the lion, the king of beasts, so majestic and mighty.

So too, monks, when the Tathagata arises in the world, an arahant, perfectly enlightened, accomplished in true knowledge and conduct, fortunate, knower of the world, unsurpassed leader of persons to be tamed, teacher of devas and humans, the Enlightened One, the Blessed One, he teaches the Dhamma thus:

'Such is form, such its origin, such its passing away; such is feeling...such is perception...such are volitional formations...such is consciousness, such its origin, such its passing away.'

Then, monks, when those devas who are long-lived, beautiful, abounding in happiness, dwelling for a long time in lofty palaces, hear the Tathagata's teaching of the Dhamma, most are filled with fear, a sense of urgency, and terror, saying:

'It seems, though we thought ourselves permanent, that we are impermanent; it seems, though we thought ourselves stable, that we are unstable; it seems, though we thought ourselves eternal, that we are transient. It seems, sir, that we are impermanent, unstable, transient, included within identity.'

So powerful, monks, is the Tathagata over this world together with its devas, so majestic and mighty.

*Tathagata - The Buddha
*devas - heavenly beings/angels/gods

Journey to the Big Buddha Statue

2011-05-08T23:01:00.003+08:00

Here is a wet tissue from a rather expensive vegetarian meal.

Its slogan can be improved.

The objective and motivation to STORE some (read more) merits carries an underlying belief in the preservation and growth of one's welfare.

The objective and motivation to do more kindness and charity works carries with it an underlying belief that the preservation of one's welfare is secondary to acting in alignment with the values of kindess & compassion towards others.

These 2 motivations simply contradict each other in their underlying principals.

And a magnificent Bodhi tree.

Tuesdays with Morrie - 70s vs 90s vs 201#

2011-05-03T23:11:00.003+08:00

It's Tuesday today. But i'm not with Morrie.

Morrie was a sociology professor who had a fond relationship with a student, Mitch. On Mitch's graduation day in 1979, he gave his favourite professor a briefcase as a present and promised to keep in touch. 16 years passed, and he did not keep in touch. He tried to pursue a career in the music industry (as he loves music and plays the piano), but gave it up to take up a career in sports journalism. He worked hard and was successful with his journalism career, and one day he saw his favourite professor Morrie on the news channel by chance. Morrie was being interviewed by ABC for a talkshow regarding his terminal illness. It was the year 1994 and Mitch thought about how he had become someone he didn't want to be. He went to meet Morrie even though he was embarrassed.

Mitch: I cannot tell you why he received me so warmly. I was hardly the promising student who had left him sixteen years earlier. Had it not been for the talk show, Morrie might have died without ever seeing me again. I had no good excuse for this, except the one that everyone these days seem to have. I had become too wrapped up in the siren song of my own lie. I was busy.

   What happened to me? I asked myself. Morrie's high, smoky voice took me back to my university years, when I thought rich people were evil, a shirt and tie were prison clothes, and life without freedom to get up and go - motorcycle beneath you, breeze in your face, down the streets of Paris, into the moutains of Tibet - was not a good life at all. What happened to me?

    The 80s happened. The 90s happened. Death and sickness and getting fat and going bald hapened. I traded lots of dreams for a bigger paycheck, and I never even realized I was doing it.

     Yet here was Morrie talking with the wonder of our college years, as if I'd simply been on a long vacation.

Morrie: Have you found someone to share your heart with?

      Are you giving to your community?

      Are you at peace with yourself?

      Are you trying to be as human as you can be?

Mitch: I squirmed, wanting to show I had been grappling deeply with such questions. What happened to me? I once promised myself I would never work for money, that I would join the Peace Corps, that I would live in beautiful, inspirational places.

      Instead, I had been in Detroit for ten years now, at the same working place, using the same bank, visiting the same barber. I was thirty-seven, more efficient than in college, tied to computers and modems and cell phones. I wrote articles about rich athletes who, for the most part, could not care less about people like me. I was no longer young for my peer group, nor did I walk around in gray sweatshirts with unlit cigarettes in my mouth. I did not have long discussions over egg salad sandwiches about the meaning of life.

     My days were full, yet I remained, much of the time, unsatisfied. What happened to me?

Is the World / Universe Finite or Infinite, Eternal or Not eternal

2011-04-28T00:19:00.003+08:00

MN 63: Culamalunkya Sutta

1. Thus have I heard. On one occasion the Blessed One was living at Savatthi in Jeta's Grove, Anathapindika's Park.

2. Then, while the Vernerable Malunkyaputta was alone in meditation, the following thought arose in his mind:
"These speculative views have been left undeclared by the Blessed One, set aside and rejected by him, namely:

'the world is eternal' and
'the world is not eternal';
'the world is finite' and
'the world is infinite';
'the soul is the same as the body' and
'the soul is one thing and the body another';
'after death a Tathagata exists' and
'after death a Tathagata does not exist' and
'after death a Tathagata both exists and does not exist' and
'after death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist'

The Blessed One does not declare these to me, and I do not approve of and accept this fact, so I shall go to the Blessed One and ask him the meaning of this. If he declares to me either 'the world is ethernal'... or 'after death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist,' then I will lead the spiritual life under him; if he does not declare these to me, then I will abandon the training and return to the lower life."

3. Then, when it was evening, the Venerable Malunkyaputta rose from meditation and went to the Blessed One. After paying homage to him, he sat down at one side and told him::

"Here, venerable sir, while I was alone in meditation, the following thought arose in my mind:

'"These speculative views have been left undeclared by the Blessed One... If he does not declare these to me, then I will abandon the training and return to the lower life. If the Blessed One knows 'the world is eternal,' let the Blessed One declare to me 'the world is eternal'; if the Blessed One knows 'the world is not eternal,' let the Blessed One declare to me 'the world isnot eternal.' If the Blessed One does not know either 'the world is eternal' or 'the world is not eternal,' then it is straightforward for one who does not know and see to say: 'I do not know and see.'

If the Blessed One knows 'the world is finite,'...'the world is infinite,'...'the soul is the same as the body,'...'the soul is one thing and the body another.'...'after death a Tathagata exists,'...'after death a Tathagata both exists and does not exist,' let the Blessed One declare that to me; if the Blessed One knows 'after death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist,' let the BLessed One declare that to me. If the Blessed One does not know either 'after death a Tathagata both exists and does not exist' or 'after death a Tathagta neither exists nor does not exist,' then it is straightforward for one who does not know and see to say: 'I do not know and see.'"

4. "How then, Malunkyaputta, did I ever say to you: 'Come, Malunkyaputta, lead the spiritual life under me and I will declare to you 'the world is eternal'... or 'after death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist'"?

"No, vernerable sir."

"Did you ever tell me: 'I will lead the spiritual life under the Blessed One, and the Blessed One will declare to me 'the world is eternal' ... or 'after death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist'"?"

"No, vernerable sir.:

"That being so, misguided man, who are you and what are you abandoning?"

5. "If anyone should say thus: "I will not lead the spiritual life under the Blessed One until the Blessed One declares to me 'the world is eternal'..or 'after death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist,"' that would still remain undeclared by the Tathagata and meanwhile that person would die.

Suppose, Malunkyaputta, a man were wounded by an arrow thickly smeared with poison, and his friends and companions, his kinsmen and relatives, brought a surgeon to treat him. The man would say: 'I will not let the surgeon pull out this arrow until I know whether the man who wounded me was a khattiya, a brahmin, a merchant, or a worker.' And he would say: 'I will not let the surgeon pull out this arrow until I know the name and clan of the man who wounded me;... until I know whether the man who wounded me was tall, short, or of middle height;... undtil I know whether the man who wounded me was dark, brown, or golden-skinned;... until I know whether the man who wounded me lives in such a village, town, or city;... until I know whether the bow that wounded me was a long bow or a crossbow;... until I know whether the bowstring that wounded me was fiber, reed, sinew, hemp, or bark;... until I know whether the shaft that wounded me was wild or cultivated;... until I know with what kind of feathers the shaft that wounded me was fitted - whether those of a vulture, a heron, a hawk, a peacock, or a stork;... undtil I know with what kind of sinew the shaft that wounded me was bound - whether that of an ox, a buffalo, a deer, or a monkey;... until I know what kind of arrowhead it was that wounded me- whether spiked or razor-tipped or curved or barbed or calf-toothe or lancet-shaped.'

"All these would still not be known to that man, and meanwhile he would die. So too, Malunkyaputta, if anyone should say thus: 'I will not lead the spiritual life under the Blessed One until the Blessed One declares to me: "the world is eternal"... or "after death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist,"' that would still remain undeclared by the Tathagata and meanwhile that person would die.

6. "Malunkyaputta, if there is the view 'the world is eternal,' the spiritual life cannot be lived; and if the view 'the world is not eternal,' the spiritual life cannot be lived. Whether there is the view 'the world is eternal' or the view ' the world is not eternal,' there is birth, there is aging, there is death, there are sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair, the destruction of which I prescribe here and now.

If there is the view 'the world is finite'...'the world is infinite'..'the soul is the same as the body'...'the soul is one thing and and the body another ' ...'after death a Tathagata exists'...'after death a Tathagata does not exist,' the spiritual life cannot be lived...If there is the view 'after death a Tathagata both exists and does not exist,' the spiritual life cannot be lived; and if there is the view 'after death a Tathagta neither exists nor does not exist, ; the spiritual life cannot be lived. Whether there is the view 'after death a Tathagata both exists and does not exist' or the view ' after death a Tathata neither exists nor does not exist,' there is birth, there is aging, there is death, there are sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair, the destruction of which I prescribe here and now.

7. "Therefore, Malunkyaputta, remember what I have left undeclared as undeclared, and remember what I have declared as declared. And what have I left undeclared?

'The world is eternal'-I have left undeclared.
'The world is not eternal'-I have left undeclared.
'The world is finite'-I have left undeclared.
'Theworld is infinite'-I have left undeclared.
'the soul is the same as the body'-I have left undeclared.
'the soul is one thing and the body another'-I have left undeclared.
'after death a Tathagata exists'-I have left undeclared.
'after death a Tathagata does not exist' -I have left undeclared.
'after death a Tathagata both exists and does not exist'-I have left undeclared.
'after death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist'-I have left undeclared.

8. "Why have I left that undeclared? Because it is unbeneficial, it does not belong to the fundamentals of the spiritual life, it does not lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to peace, to direct knowledge, to enlightenment, to Nibbana. That is why I have left it undeclared.

9. "And what have I declared?

'This is suffering'-I have declared.
'This is the origin of suffering'-I have declared.
'This is the cessation of suffering'-I have declared.
'This is the way leading to the cessation of suffering'-I have declared.

10. "Why have I declared that? Because it is beneficial, it belongs to the fundamentals of the spiritual life, it leads to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to peace, to direct knowledge, to enlightenment, to Nibbana. That is why I have declared it.

"Therefore, Malunkyaputta, remember what I have left undeclared as declared, and remember what I have declared as declared."

That is what the Blessed One said.

The Venerable Malunkyaputta was satisfied and delighted in the Blessed One's words.

Ash

2011-04-27T22:28:00.001+08:00

can't sleep in the city, you're far away
cigarettes keep you skinny, and your mind off the rain
oh sometimes, sometimes
oh sometimes, sometimes

feelings are distant, and i know guilt by name
it was the hardest thing,
watching you slip away
oh sometimes, sometimes

sometimes it happens, feelings die
whole years are lost in the blink of an eye
we once had it all but events conspired
oh sometimes

good morning sweet thing, you're safe in my hands
i am no saint, but i understand
oh sometimes, sometimes
oh sometimes, sometimes

sometimes it happens, feelings die
whole years are lost in the blink of an eye
we once had it all but events conspired
oh sometimes
now that it is over, it is through
it gets me everytime i think of you
sometimes it happens, feelings die
oh sometimes

saturn's decline in my star sign,
seasonal adjustments, stars realign
sometimes it happens
oh sometimes

Cynicism

2011-04-26T18:14:00.000+08:00

Someone once said this -
"Doing the right thing requires alot of effort"

with Cynicism, things cannot get any easier.

Wiki: "Cynicism" generally describes the opinions of those who are disinclined to rely upon sincerity, human virtue, or altruism, and maintain that self-interest is the primary motive of human behaviour.

The cynic is one who never sees a good quality in a man and never fails to see a bad one. He is the human owl, vigilant in darkness and blind to light, mousing for vermin, and never seeing noble game. The cynic puts all human actions into two classes — openly bad and secretly bad. - Henry Ward Beecher, in Lectures to Young Men

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. - Stephen Colbert,

Cynics are disappointed romantics; they keep looking for someone to admire and can never find anyone. - Len Deighton

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing." - Oscar Wilde

The greater part of the truth is always hidden, in regions out of the reach of cynicism. - J. R. R. Tolkien, Letter to his son, Michael Tolkien

Suitable and unsuitable times

2011-04-25T15:40:00.000+08:00

The not suitable times to make effort
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bhikkhus, these five are the not suitable times to make effort. What five?

Here, bhikkhus, the bhikkhu is decayed and overcome by decay. This is the first time not suitable to make effort.

Again, bhikkhus,the bhikkhu is ill and is overcome by illness. This is the second time not suitable to make effort.

Again, bhikkhus there is a famine and grains become rare and it becomes impossible to collect even scraps. This is the third time not suitable to make effort.

Again, bhikkhus there is a time of fear from invading forest tribes on wheels. This is the fourth time not suitable to make effort.

Again, bhikkhus, the Community of bhikkhus break up. When the Community of bhikkhus break up, they blame each other, debase each other and get enclosed in small sections and reject certain sections. The displeased do not become pleased, some of those pleased go away. This is the fifth time not suitable to make effort.

Bhikkhus, these five are the suitable times to make effort. What five?

Here, bhikkhus, the bhikkhu is young, in the prime of youth with black hair. This is the first time, suitable to make effort.

Again, bhikkhus,the bhikkhu is with few ailments, endowed with a good digestive system, not too cold, nor too hot, a suitable one to make endeavour This is the second time suitable to make effort.

Again, bhikkhus there is a time with plenty of food and grains and it becomes possible to collect food no doubts about scraps. This is the third time suitable to make effort.

Again, bhikkhus the people live united seeing each other with friendly eyes, mixing like milk and water. This is the fourth time suitable to make effort.

Again, bhikkhus, the united Community of bhikkhus live in concord not blaming each other, not debasing each other and not in small sections rejecting each other. The displeased become pleased and the pleased become more pleased. This is the fifth time suitable to make effort.

Bhikkhus, these are the five suitable times to make effort.

Thank goodness

2011-03-31T11:27:00.000+08:00

When days and weeks and months go by, and the ho hum of living and surviving and supporting eats into the heart:

Thank goodness there are learned teachers.

Thank goodness there are virtuous and wise learned teachers.

Thank goodness these teachers have support from communities.

Thank goodness there are bigger, worthy and interesting subjects to study about.

Thank goodness there are these food for contemplation, for reflection, for practice.

Ajahn Sujato's Essay - Without Delay
Ajahn Sujato's Essay - A Painful Ambiguity
Ajahn Sujato's Essay - All Dhammas
Ajahn Sujatao's Essay - What the Buddha Really Taught

Ajahn

2011-03-28T15:54:00.001+08:00

Gonna post some meditation related links here:

Approach, Practice, Integration
Overcoming potential obstacles

Went to Ajahn Sujato's Metta Meditation retreat recently and what was more rewarding than the actual meditation was the process of straightening out ideas, understanding and spirit.

Perhaps after trying to understand the Dharma, it is living in the spirit of the elements that encapsulate the Dharma that is what propells one to come face to face with the Dharma.

One fine day

2011-03-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

One day, one day, there will be no more pleasures to chase.

Evils

2011-02-25T15:40:00.000+08:00

Found this to be a good read:

http://sucitto.blogspot.com/2011/01/sacred-africa.html

To see when and how evil arises

To be aware of the dormant evil in ourselves
To see the defences put up by the self-image in order to hide these evils

To understand how to work around evils

To understand how to empathize with evils in forgiving

Urgent help!!

2011-02-10T18:23:00.002+08:00

Urgently requiring a B+ platelete donors for Sharön Gwee xue Lin a 16 year old girl from singapore who is having cancer, and she needs atleast 2 platelet donors per day. Please let me know, Or you could help to pass this around quickly.

Test

2011-02-10T18:09:00.001+08:00

The Four Noble Truths are

1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

These are the 4 findings that the Buddha found on his enlightenment. In the area of reasearch, research findings can be tested by accessing their Internal validity, External validity and Reliability.

Take the 2nd Noble Truth:
For internal validity, suffering would be the effect that we want to measure. And attachment would be the dependent variable. Would the preposition that lesser attachment lead to lesser suffering be valid in a controlled experiment?

If this preposition passes the internal validity test, would it pass the external validity test? Would the 2nd Noble Truth hold true for the rest of the population, regardless of age, occupation, location?

And is this preposition have a high reliability, giving consistent results?

Choices&Options

2011-02-10T17:20:00.002+08:00

Does having more options and choices for anything and everything bring about more freedom and bring us closer to our attempt at the imitation of living the heavenly blessed life?

For the first time in my life, I'm begining to believe that having less options available actually brings with it more peace (from greed), and a higher chance to obtaining the best outcome.

Imagine if a Prince siddharta was in our time and age, what are the odds of him choosing the livelihood of the noble homelessness in search for the deathlessness?

During his time, for a self-respecting person there was the life of a householder belonging to the clan that you're born into or the life of a hermit. Doing something out of the family occupation is something which was socially abnormal and something which was not a viable option.

Today, there are just too many options.

Humans with all their dormant fear & greed would suffer from this paralysis when presented with so many options.

Even the Prince had a tough time deciding during his time.

What about us?

Although with foresight and hindsight, many things could be done differently, one can only make the best choice at the time. This doesn't mean that one always make the right decision. But simply that decisions are based on best guesses at the time.

Self-Interest

2010-12-07T00:09:00.003+08:00

Forget about self, non-self, entity, non-entity concepts. Let's talk about self-interest. The world is ruled by the interests of self, of companies, of unions, of nations, of alliances. But let's just talk about self-interest.

Self-interest are interests that purposely or not, server to protect the Self or grow the Self, and could also diminish/damange the Self. Here, I mean Self in the sense of an institution rather than a physical self.

The classification for self-interests are:

1.    Interests that if pursued, bring damage to the Self. It could be that we are unaware of the fact that these interests would bring about deterioration of Self and accredit demerits to the Self, or we could be very well aware but the pursuit of these interests seem to outweigh the mere preservation and growth of Self.

In some conflict situations, we have to consider how much can the institution of Self be preserved. And if these interest could still be pursued with limiting damage to the Self by carefully monitoring and guarding against any threatening effects.

This type of interest can be as trivial as laziness and restlessness.

2.   interests that should be taken up to protect the existing integrity of the Self.

3.   Self-interests are also those interests that should be taken up to grow the Self.

In almost every passive and reactive actions, the potention for fulfilling self-interest is measured up before the conscious/unconscious decision made.

We've all heard of some astonishing decisions made. The story about the Buddhista who jumped from the clift intending to become a food for a hungry tigeress. It is said that the Buddhista knew that if this act was done, he would become a Buddha in a shorter time. Also about the Buddhista rabbit who jumped into a fire to become food for a passing ascetic.

Until the Dharma of non-self is realized, the fulfillment of self-interest is the drivingg force in the core of our very being. It is clear that in these unlikely decisions, the dominating self-interest is of the 3rd type.

Perhaps when we are not doing self-interest of the 3rd type, we should be either by presevering the Self or at least to protect the Self from our own destructive self-interests.

Religion does not make Good people

2010-12-04T15:12:00.002+08:00

Today, I agree with WHAT I THINK I REMEMBER Bhante saying (not quoting Bhante here) - that religion (here in mean Buddhism in general, as I have very limited knowledge on others)does not necessarily make good people. And these are the reasons why I agree.

-The partial/flawed faith and practice in Buddhism is not a neccessary condition to be a good person

and neither is

-The partial/flawed faith and practice in Buddhism a sufficient condition to be a good person

Am I being cynical of Buddhism's personal influence? I mentioned partial/flawed didn't I. Is this realisation of importance? Yes. Many with hugely but blindly inflated egos, feel that because of their gathered knowledge and/or practice of Buddhism they are good people. This support of Buddhism creates a deep ground of illusion that they are good people.

When I mean good people, I mean the very basic condition of being a good person. No flowery, lacy words like kindness, compassion, empathy, generousity etc. Just the dough of it which is - not wanting to harm others.

Not wanting harm not only physically, but emotionally and psychologically, mentally. Hitler the supreme evil of modern times may not have laid a killer's finger in his entire life. But he has harmed tens and hundreds millions through his wants, egoistic ambitions, hatred, delusion. Even under a noble cloak of harmlessness can harm be wanted on others.

A good person is a neccessary and sufficient condition for a good friend. You'll only call someone a friend if they are on the same camp as you are, that is not to cause harm to each other but to focus on a common cause - be it to just stroll on the pestures, to fight an opposing army, or to build a castle. But of cause it is wise to continue to be aware of the one who has become your friend. This can be trickier as the noble cloak of harmlessness is now folded twice.

But that doesn't mean it is too difficult to see after removing the flowery prints and laces.

"A good friend who points out mistakes and imperfections and rebukes evil is to be respected as if he reveals a secret of hidden treasure."

"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."

-Quotes are accredited to the Buddha by Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai in The Teachings of Buddha.

He who lives purely and self-assured,
In quietness and virtue,
Who is without harm or hurt or blame,
Even if he wears fine clothes,
So long as he also has faith,
He is a true seeker.
-Dhammapada.

Life's Simple Philosophy

2010-11-29T23:14:00.004+08:00

The Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann's peom written in 1927

Wholesome philosophies are just timeless...and so are the Dhammas within them....

Pain Of Being Dumbfounded

2010-11-20T16:13:00.004+08:00

Yesterday at the BDMS, Bhante was discussing this:

"There are, O householder, five desirable, pleasant, and agreeable things which are rare in the world. What are those five? They are long life, beauty, happiness, fame and (rebirth in) a heaven. But of those five things, O householder, I do no teach that they are to be obtained by prayer or by vows. If one could obtain them by prayer or vows, who would not do it?

"For a noble disciple, O householder, who wishes to have long life, it is not befitting that he should pray for long life or take delight in so doing. He should rather follow a path of life that is conducive to longevity. By following such a path he will obtain long life, be it divine or human.

"For a noble disciple, O householder, who wishes to have beauty... happiness... fame (rebirth in) a heaven, it is not befitting that he should pray for them or take delight in so doing. He should rather follow a path of life that is conducive to beauty... happiness... fame... (rebirth in) a heaven. By following such a path he will obtain beauty, happiness, fame, and (rebirth in) a heaven." — AN 5.43

Aside from the Buddha saying that the desired things cannot be obtained by prayers and vows, it seemed unnecessary for the Buddha to have pointed out that if these desired things are wished for, one should follow a path of life that is conducive to those things.

If you wanted to slim down, you'd follow the path that is conducive to that - not eating what you shouldn't be eating etc. That's obvious and anybody wanting that would do that right? But NO, that's not the case (most of the time anyway).

From Light comes through by Dzigar Kongtrul:
"The Pain of Being Dumbfounded

Most animals can't discern, beyond their programmed instincts to survive, the relationship between causes and results. They respond to habitual conditioning or punishment and reward, but the ability to self-reflect does not generally exist for them. Sometimes we hear incredible stories about animals where they express an amazing amount of compassion and intelligence. But in general, their focus moves from one tuft of grass to the next. In a blizzard, cows often just stand there and freeze because they don't have the capacity to strategize. Entire herds of animals have been known to jump off cliffs when chased. Understand that this is not to embarrass or put down animals (huh??), it just speaks of the pain of stupidity they exprience.

Unlike animals, human beings have an acute ability to reason and discern between right and wrong, and we function in the world of cause and effect all the time-we pay our bills, hold a job, and find ways to feed and clothe ourselves. In school we may collect a lot of information about the world and how to live effectively in it. Yet we often still find overselves disengaged from our own clarity, moving without thinking, in ways that are not much different from animals.

Our intelligence may be exceptionally sharp, but we can still live out an entire lifetime without solving the fundamental question of happiness. Subsconsciously we know that there must be something we can do, and we want to do whatever that is, but we can't access the knowledge. So a feeling of paralyzing inferiority invades our minds. Getting frozen in the state of being dumbfounded is a big source of suffering for us because we don't find much contentment in life when our actions don't meet our intentions."

Sadly, it was neccessary for the Buddha to point out such a no-brainer (hence the requisite for a Buddha to have unlimited patience). That is because we are dumbfounded (although really we are intelligent....). Sometimes our actions not only don't meet our intentions, but they oppose our intentions. Or even dumber, we don't know what our intentions should be.

The animal hide should be removed and we can utilize our unique ability bethroned to a human - ability to form relationships between causes and results, ability to self-reflect, ability to change habitual conditioning, ability to see - no matter how small - the hill range far beyond instead of fixing on the next turf of grass.

I should stop being such a cow.

Diligent Joy

2010-11-13T21:25:00.012+08:00

The Art of Happiness..

These days I no longer want to call happiness Happiness. Ever since I've introduced myself to Diligent Joy. Let me now introduce it to you..

Diligent Joy is a comfortable joy (not estatic joy), contentment if considered mildly. Sounds exactly like Happiness doesn't it. But Happines gives the impression of an elusive feeling that you are waiting for to arrive. When I say 'May I be happy', I could without realising end up meaning 'May I be happy.....someday....' or 'May I be happy....please with all the stroke of lucky in the world let this this & this happen'

But having Diligent Joy is to ENSURE with diligence that you work to have joy in your heart. That means you don't wait around for one day, some day, something. Rather, ENSURING that right now, right here, every single time, joy is brought to your heart.

Having Diligent Joy also means ENSURING with diligence that the joy that is now brought over is protected and maintained by you. And of course being diligent means necessarily having to repeat over and over.

A Divinity Theory, A Ritualistic Fable & A Terrible Poem - that made my day

2010-11-09T22:05:00.005+08:00

1) A Divinity Theory -

"Imagine that the universe is a great spinning engine. You want to stay near the core of the thing- right in the hub of the wheel - not out at the edges where all the wild whirling takes place, where you can get frayed and crazy. The hub of calmness- that is your heart. That's where God lives within you. So stop looking for answers in the world. Just keep coming back to that center and you'll always find peace."

2) A Ritualistic Fable -

"For hours a day, a great saint and his followers would meditate on God. The only problem was that the saint had a young cat, an annoying creature, who used to walk through the temple meowing and purring and bothering everyone during meditation. So the saint, in all his practical wisdom, commanded that the cat be tied to a pole outside for a few hours a day, only during meditation, so as to not disturb anyone. This became a habit- tying the cat to the pole and then meditating on God- but as years passed, the habit hardened into religious ritual. Nobody could meditate unless the cat was tied to the pole first. Then one day the cat died. The saint's followers were panic-stricken. It was a major religious crisis- how could they meditate now, without a cat tied to a pole? How would they reach God? In their minds, the cat had become the means."

3) A Terrible Poem -

"However,
If they'd let me wear pants made out of the fresh-mown grass from this place,
I'd do it.

If they'd let me make out
with every single Eucalyptus tree in Ganesh's Grove,
I swear, I'd do it.

I've sweated out dew these days,
worked out the dregs,
rubbed my chin on tree bark,
mistaking it for my master's leg,

I can't get far enough in.

If they'd let me eat the soil of this place
served on a bed of birds' nests,
I'd finish only half my plate,
Then sleep all night on the rest."

GOD I believe in

2010-11-08T23:28:00.008+08:00

Julia Roberts converted to Hinduism. Really?! How did that ever happen???

Now I see how. Because even myself is now open to a belief in God. Let me explain..

(Eat Pray Love is the most beautiful (and only) memoir I've ever read, its filled with sentence after sentence of humour, insightful inquisitions, honest revelations of emotions and much more.)

When Detachment creates a confused, conflicted suffering being out of you, go to the other D word - Devotion. And Devotion to what? Devotion to the 3 Gems? Perhaps it's only me, I had often felt it difficult to muster a way to convincingly split a strong, focused, deep feeling such as Devotion and allocate, place fractions of it to the numerous magnificent qualities of the Buddha, Dharma & Sangha.

Perhaps that is the reason I fancy the act of giving Devotion to a full, single, complete entity of a God.

Intellectually, the 3 Gems remain as the Devotional qualities that my mind projects to. Emotionally, I find it may be a good idea to devote myself to become like the memoir says "He Who Dwells in the Heart of the Lord Who Dwells Within His Own Heart".

Yes, I think it maybe a heartening break from D-Detachment to try reaching for and connecting with the Lord Who Dwells Within My Own Heart.

Seal or Owl

2010-10-27T22:00:00.002+08:00

Day 2 with Dzigar Kongtrul's Light Comes Through

"In Tibet They say there is a lake where, during a particular full moon each year, the seal-like creatures who live there gather fish in their mouths and offer them up to hordes of owls who hover in the trees above, waiting to eat. There is no apparent reason for the seals to offer the fish other than the fact that the owls seem to expect it. As the story goes, the seals gain nothing from offering the fish, and the owls are never satisfied. So, they say, since there is no obvious reason for this dynamic to be as it is, “it must be lenchak.”

The lenchak dynamic has two sides: the seal side and the owl side. If we are the seal, we feel an unspoken emotional responsibility for someone else’s mind and well-being. We feel pulled toward this person as if they have a claim on us. It’s a strong visceral experience, and we have a physical reaction to it: the phone rings and we check our caller ID—it’s “the owl.” We should pick it up, but we are overcome by a strong wave of anxiety and repulsion, as if we are being attacked by our own nervous system. We brace ourselves for a problem or a strong emotional download. As much as we want to detach ourselves from this person, we can’t break loose; it’s as if they have captured us, and there’s no escape— checkmate! Of course, this is not the case. In truth we are held hostage by our own attachment, guilt, and inability to resist the pain that comes from feeling unreasonably responsible for them. On one hand, we can’t bear watching the owl struggle. On the other hand, we can’t let go. This dynamic brings us down; it makes us lose our luster as human beings.

Meanwhile, the owl is never satisfied, no matter how many fish the seal tries to feed it. Of course, when caught in the owl syndrome we don’t see it in this way. We feel neglected, isolated, and weak. The reason for this is that we are depending on someone else in hopes that they will manage our fears. We have so many unspoken demands, although we often express these demands in a meek and needy way. The owl syndrome reduces us to a childlike state. We begin to question whether or not we can do things on our own, and we lose confidence in our ability to face our mind and emotions. Interestingly, the owl—so frail, needy, and insecure—is not necessarily as feeble as it seems to be. In fact, the owl has the upper hand. It’s a little manipulative, if you want to know the truth. The owl just doesn’t want to clean up its own mess. This is a privileged attitude. If the owl couldn’t afford to be weak—if it didn’t have the seal—it would naturally rise to its own challenges.

The irony of this dynamic is that, in most cases, the more fish the seal offers the owl, the more resentful, demanding, and dissatisfied the owl gets. For both the seal and owl, this kind of dependence and expectation gives way to a lot of ugliness. At work we may have to hold our tongues and swallow what our boss has to say, but there is no holding back with our loved ones. We let our guard down and allow ourselves to get ugly, spreading our web of ego anxieties all over the place. It’s true, the seal may temporarily pacify the owl, but no mutual respect arises from this kind of arrangement. And in truth, isn’t it respect that we want most of all? Everyone wants love and care, but, more than these, human beings want respect for who they are. Even an enemy can respect another enemy. There is a sense of human dignity in this. "

Stupidity

2010-10-20T21:17:00.002+08:00

Day 1 with Dzigar Kongtrul's Light Comes Through

Stupidity issn't a familiar attribute among the unwholesome list of attributes, but it is the opposite of being wise. To be wise is being able to differentiate what's good and bad, understanding the situation and knowing how to act accordingly.

Few are wise, and being wise is correctly associated with age as with lots of age gone by you will be able to see with your own eyes the results of earlier causes.

"While ignorance is simply the state of not knowing, stupidity is the dull state of mind that allows us to repeat the same thing over and over again despite its negative conseqquences...

Stupidity is a mind on cruise control. A mind enveloped in stupidity is copletely oblivious to the laws of cause and effect, seed and fruit. It doesn't connect happiness with the causes of happiness or suffering with the causes of suffering.

....And we don't often question whether or not this (structuring our lives around wealth and power) fulfills our intention for happiness, because we are consumed by our immediate needs....

Stupidity becomes a standard for us in this way.

....the suffering of stupidity is there in all of us. Ut is everywhere. Whereever we look, there it is in everyone's life. This is something very large. We're talking about billions of people suffering because their actions don't meet their intention for happiness."

Beauty of Symmetry

2010-09-06T01:23:00.004+08:00

On the subject of happiness, if there is any external way of bringing happiness, I think it would be coming in contact with beauty. What is considered beautiful.

More often than not, SYMMETRY is considered beautiful.

Circle makes a beautiful shape,

Symmetry makes a beautiful face,

Expanding & contracting makes a beautiful universe theory,

Rising & falling makes a beautiful phenomena,

Climbing & falling makes a beautiful sound.

Symmetry reduces choatic inconsistancies, symmetry brings equilibrium, symmetry brings a peace of mind, symmetry brings completion.

Who is happy

2010-09-01T21:52:00.004+08:00

I wasn't happy at all sometime in the day. I felt like I've caught the life-is-a-torture disease for good.

'Should I go for some therapy, should I go to a doctor?'

'Life is supposed to be suffering, unsatisfactory...that's right, that's it...you're seeing unsatisfactory now'

'You gotto reflect...reflect on what's causing you to feel the suffering you're feeling right now'

'If you can't do anything about it, what do you do?'

Who's happy now?

'Happy is he who has lofty and noble aspirations.

Happy is he who enriches the lives of others.

Happy is he who allows others to live in peace.

Happy is he who makes this world a better place to live in.

Happy is he whose work, chores and daily tasks are labours of love.

Happy is he who loves love.' - Ven. Dr. K Sri Dhammananda

A lot of Nonsense by Bhikkhu Khantipalo

2010-08-22T15:47:00.002+08:00

A lot of fuss
A lot of tears
A lot of people
A lot of trouble
A lot of money
A lot of time
And all for what?
A little body!

A blob of proteins
Fast unwinding,
A little corpse
Quick decaying.
No longer is it
Dear Father, mother
Or any darling other.

In spite of this
We must have
Consolations and coffins
Processions and Tombstones
Parties and mourning
Rites and rituals
Buried or burnt
Embalmed forever,
All for these little
Bloated bodies.

Sons remember
Grandsons little,
And after them
Are the dead forgotten,
Stones and bones alone remaining.
So is this not
A lot of nonsense?

So you think you can map this

2010-08-15T01:47:00.007+08:00

Hmm...

Turning-points

2010-08-12T16:50:00.008+08:00

Some of us may think we haven't encountered any turning-point in our lives. Typically I'd think of a turning-point as a single pivotal event which drastically rotated one's future life course around 180 degs. From the perspective of the right side-up to upside down, or the other way round.

However, I feel that by our mid-lives most of us have already been through turning-point(s) of some degrees if not a full 180. If you have been through an event or a point of time wherein you saw a changed perspective on your life course, then it is a turning-point.

According to the Buddha's life story as I know it, these are some of the significant points in his life course:

#1 Age 16, Prince Siddhartha married Princess Yasodhara. (This is a marked progress in the royal life course by becoming a royal couple)

#2 Age 29, Prince Siddhartha got a son. (This is a marked progress in the royal life course by becoming a royal family)

#3 Age 29, Prince Siddhartha ran away from the royal palace and his family to go homeless and possessionless. (If this didn't happen, he would have continued to progress further in the royal life)

#4 Age 35, ascetic Siddhartha switched his approach. (If this didn't happen, he would have remained as an unacommplished ascetic)

Legend has it that baby Prince Siddhartha, as soon as he was born, took 7 steps and proclaimed that this is his last rebirth. On the other hand, all but one brahmin scholar gave the dual prediction that the Prince could either become a 'Wheel-turning' Monarch or a Buddha. But I feel that after his enlightenment, the Buddha seemed to go about as if he knew that it was meant to happen in the first place.

Since divine planning and intervention are out, how is it that events #3 and #4 come about such that it drastically changed the life course of the Prince and later the ascetic?

When we are born, our default life course is deterministic by external forces such as the social, cultural, physical & environmental elements. Imagine if we followed the paved life course that's decided for us by societial norms and decision making adults. Some of us could now be living a varsely different life course.

Some turning points are thrown at us, like if a tree falls on your head and caused permanent disability, like if you're suddenly expecting octets instead of a single baby. Are they Karmically deterministic (reap what you sowed), or a stroke of pure coincidence of the product of probabilities.

But how about those that require us to take an explicit action of making a decision. Getting married, getting separated, quitting a job, becoming a monk/nun. Are they also Karmically deterministic (beyond doubt that we will make that choice in the end because of our innate nature)? Or is the final decision making point truely a 50-50 free will, even after taking into consideration external, mental and emotional influences?

Someone from my company asked me what was the triggering factor for me to leave the company. Strangely, I was taken aback by this question although it's the usual one asked. I told him that there was a couple of contributing factors. He said I still hadn't answer his question, what was the triggering factor. That was when I saw that indeed in every turning-point decision to be made, there should be a single trigger that finally tipped the scale to one side - that even the multiple cumulative factors could not do.

It's good to have a feel of what we want. It's good to have a trigger point defined and act upon it, otherwise we might feel like we made a decision when we shouldn't have, or feel like we didn't make the decision when we should have.

For event #3, Prince Siddhartha had a feel of what he wanted - deathlessness. Triggering factor was the birth of his son, although previously he didn't have that much interest in the royal palace life anyway and had seen the real world of sickness and death outside the walls of the palace.

For event #4, ascetic Siddhartha knew he needed knowledge that will bring about deathlessness. This is off text records, and is only my belief: Triggering factor was him finally fainting unconscious due to his frail body state. Although his body state was deteriorating for a long 6 years.

Mis-doing Jhana

2010-08-10T17:05:00.008+08:00

This is by far the most intriguing use of the word Jhana I've ever come across, and it conjures up a hilarious picture:

‘Then, when Māra Dūsī had possessed the brahman householders, they abused, reviled, mocked, and harassed the virtuous monks of good character thus: “These baldies, monkies, menial darkies spawned from the Ancestor’s feet, claim: ‘We’re doing jhāna! We’re doing jhāna!’ and with shoulders drooping, heads hanging, and all limp they do jhāna, re-do jhāna, out-do jhāna, and mis-do jhāna. Just like an owl on a branch watching out for a mouse… like a jackal on a riverbank watching out for fish… like a cat by a door-post or a dustbin or a drain watching out for a mouse… like a clapped-out donkey hanging around a door-post or a dustbin or a drain does jhāna, re-does jhāna, out-does jhāna, and mis-does jhāna…” ’

It's a total mis-fit here to use the meaning of Jhana as we know in its usual sense of the word - that is the rapture, bliss born from the seclusion of the senses. The passage here uses 'the basic, non-specialized meaning of jhāna: close, sustained, concentrated observation at a single point.'

I can't help being reminded of walking meditating when I read the passage. The analogy of a watchful, patient observation by a predator for it's food is exactly how it feels about doing walking meditation. Perhaps the greater distance separation between the head and feet as compared with the abdomen, combined with the especially specific attention to detail required for walking (lifting, moving, placing) made me feel alot like an akward eagle inspecting the movement of a mouse.

Also the description 'with shoulders drooping, heads hanging, and all limp' probably is a suggestion of walking meditation itself. The trying of attaining Jhana (if it's in its usual sense of the word) by walking adds up to the strangeness of it all.

Despite the mystery factor associated with the Jhanas, I have no doubt whatsoever about their descriptions. The passage below looks like it's describing the actual process of going towards Jhana:

‘Thus dwelling contemplating a body in the body [feelings… mind… dhammas…], bodily disturbance arises based on the body [feelings… mind… dhammas…], or the heart is lazy, or the mind is distracted externally. That monk should direct his mind to some inspiring basis. Doing so, gladness is born in him. In one who is glad, rapture is born. In one with rapturous mind, the body becomes tranquil. One with tranquil body feels bliss. In one who is blissful, the mind enters samādhi. He considers thus: “I have accomplished that purpose for which I directed my mind; now let me withdraw.” He withdraws, and neither initiates nor sustains application of mind. He understands: “I am without initial & sustained application of mind, I am mindful and blissful within myself.” SN 47.10

The second half contents of the prose above is commonly seen elsewhere, i.e. from gladness->rapture->tranquil->bliss->samadhi. I avoid delving into this sequence of experience as I'll only be caught in the maze of boxing sublime and nonspecific experiences into concepts with blurred limiting points.

But I found the first half distinguishing because it's emphatically reflective of my experience which is the trying stage of the cyclic process: comtemplative dwelling in the body->physical/emotional/mental distractions->directing mind to an inspring basis->contemplative dwelling in body->...

It would be inappropriate to label the act of 'directing mind to an inspring basis' as having discursive and distracting thoughts to be cast aside, as it actually plays a positive reinforcement to enduring with the distractions and staying with the contemplative dwelling in the body.

What inspires our mind and re-energizes us change often, but what would effectively convince myself that it's worth staying on with the dwelling in the body than to call it quits.

Telling myself it's the best possible activity I could possibly be doing right now. It's the best because it's to experience the pleasure not based on the five conditional senses, but from the withdrawl of the senses. It's a unique pleasure, the very same one that the Buddha saw and took as the way forward.

Passages source: http://santipada.org/aswiftpairofmessengers/

http://santipada.org/aswiftpairofmessengers/

2010-07-23T01:20:00.001+08:00

Can hardly contain my excitment when I read about this.

It's THE THING I've been needing and waiting for all along.

A detailed and informative written analysis of and inquiry into the range of interpretations.

I'm so loving this so far.

"This work is an attempt to clarify the meaning and function of samatha (tranquility) and vipassanā (insight) in Buddhist meditation. Much has been written on this topic, yet a cloud of confusion persists. Even though modern Buddhism claims to rest on a foundation of inquiry, many meditators seem willing to invest their spiritual trust in meditation techniques without carefully considering exactly what it is they are practicing.
"

"It is the dedicated thirst for understanding, not the complacent acquiescence in an ancient theory, which gives rise to true wisdom. All too often Buddhists come out trumpeting their commitment to free inquiry over tradition, then content themselves with critiquing any tradition but their own."

Source: On Sujato's Blog, http://santipada.org/aswiftpairofmessengers/

Rebirth

2010-07-21T22:55:00.005+08:00

There's always some uneasy connotation sourrounding the word "Religion". Since Buddhism is considered a religion (under most circumstances), many are understandably apprehensive that similar to other religions, it is tagged with the surrendering of one's sceptism, critical thinking and scientific proving. Unfortunately Buddhism has been stained with these dark & deep-rooted associations with the word "Religion". The Buddha himself taught in opposition to this giving of utter blind faith to what we supposedly hear as Dharma. See post Buddha's charter of free inquiry. Because of this uniqueness in comparison to other religions, I feel Buddhism should be tagged as Free Religion instead to avoid unwarrented misunderstandings.

Varifying rebirth is probably something that's impossible to achieve. Rebirth as a cosmic phenonmena is the sole reason why:

- Buddha had trained for thousands (or hundreds of thousands) of eons as a Buddhistava
- Buddha had felt compassion and sympathy for all satient beings
- Buddha taught the Dharma
- The Dharma existed to free satient beings from rebirth
- The Dharma was preserved for later generations
...

Rebirth is undoubtedly the core of Buddhism. But as every after-life speculation goes, we have hardly any scientific proving for it, it's out of domain of our logical reasoning, and mankind has hardly any empirical knowledge for it.

Despite being a firm Budisdht, I have to admit that probably only the 1st Noble Truth out of the 4 is something I can understand and ascertain to, based from my past and current experiences. But at least there's something concretely verifiable to start off in the first place. From this foundation, it doesn't require a dramatic leap of faith to believe in the existance of the 2nd Noble Truth of craving, as the reason for continued suffering. And Rebirth fits perfectly well as the phenomenon product of the 1st & 2nd Noble Truths. That is as far as my logical reasoning to validate rebirth goes.

This journal by Godwin Samarartne & Erlendur Haraldsson further provides a study case for more than just rebirth, but other attributes of rebirth in accordance to Karma. Children who speak of memories of a previous life as a Buddhist Monk: Three new cases

Pre-birth:
-Subject was born in a village in Sri Lanka
- Subject was known as a Sri Lankan mahanayaka (chief) monk named Ven Gunnepana
- Subject was known for preaching and supposedly was more of a ceremonies and customs monk than a meditating monk
- Subject died by hear attack in 1929

Although we cannot ascertain any bahavioural, moral or spiritual qualities based on this, it is highly likely that this subject followed the essential moral rules. A long rebirth process takes place, followed by the post-birth below. Or within the span of 55 years, subject could have take another birth(s).

Post-birth:
- Subject was born a human in the year 1984 (attained human destination)
- Subject was born to Sinhalese Buddhist parents & lives "in a moutainous rural area some 16miles by raod from Kandy" (is born to the same race, is not born very priviledged in his society)
- Subject's behaviour and likes are very much like his pervious life(doesn't like contact with some girls at school and once with his mother, likes monk items items such as robe and fan, likes to go to shrine, wanted to be called 'little monk', recits Pali stanzas without anyone teaching him)

Faith brings Effort

2010-07-17T11:46:00.009+08:00

After threatening the Buddha with brute treatment of cleaving out the Buddha's heart, or taking the Buddha by his feet to fling him over to the further shore of the ocean if his riddle is answered incorrectly, Alavaka, the aggressive Yakkha asked:

How does one cross the currents?
How is ocean's existence crossed?
How is one's suffering quelled?

The Buddha answer below pleased the aggressive Yakkha:

By faith are currents crossed; (1)
By diligence is the ocean crossed;
By effort is one's suffering quelled; (2)

These 2 sentences have been reverberating in me lately, ever since I took notice of them in Alavaka sutta. Even as I do sittings, I recollect Faith that will cross the currents, and Effort that will cross the ocean & suffering. I'm leaving "diligence" out of the picture as I can't differentiate it from "effort".

The footnotes explains "Current" as a translation of Pali word 'ogha' which is fourfold — sense pleasures, becoming, wrong views and ignorance. And "Ocean" as translation of Pali word 'annavam' which is metaphorically used to signify repeated existence, or samsara.

But currents to me are all sorts of obstacles that come and go or stick around with me during the sittings.

Recollecting the 2 sentences in the sittings, they produce a mental reinforcement which keeps me going with confidence. Currents come, and during the times I was swept up and around in their whirlpool, I summoned Faith - the trust that everything changes. With that, effort arises. And it always pay for me to stick around, to see whatever result that materializes from the Faith & Effort that was summoned before.

Who are you, Mara?

2010-07-12T12:49:00.009+08:00

Mara, he's a real enigma.It's characteristic of him to

1. Makes sudden, interrupting appearences,
2. Not to request for permission to speak
3. Cast doubts and challenges onto the meditative ones
4. Never introduce himself

Due to their nature of existance, all spirits would approach in mannerism 1 & 2, unless they have the intention of disguising themselves. However, other spirits like Sakka the god-king, usually come with the intention of dispelling his doubts in opposition to the 3rd characteristic of Mara's appearances. Other times, Sakka came to be an audience or witness of an important event, or to come in the hope of performing a meritous deed like alms-giving to Ven Maha Kassapa in Kessapa Sutta.

I feel that the fourth characteristic of Mara's appearances, is the cause for the enigma surrounding his legacy.

Sakka is known to have introduced himself to those who didn't know his status upon his appearance to them in Sakka's Questions Sutta:

Sakka: "Having gone to those whom I considered to be priests & contemplatives living in isolated dwellings in the wilderness, I asked them these questions. But when asked by me, they were at a loss. Being at a loss, they asked me in return, 'What is your name?'

Sakka: "Being asked, I responded, 'I, dear sir, am Sakka, the deva-king.'

So too is the Great Brahma known to have conceitedly introducded himself thus in Kevatta sutta:

"When this was said, the Great Brahma said to the monk, 'I, monk, am Brahma, the Great Brahma, the Conqueror, the Unconquered, the All-Seeing, All-Powerful, the Sovereign Lord, the Maker, Creator, Chief, Appointer and Ruler, Father of All That Have Been and Shall Be.'

But I haven't come across a place where Mara (if he's a spirit) introduced himself. It seems that our knowledge of him is based on the decernment of others.

Namely, he's decerned by the Buddha, Monk & Nuns as Mara, the Evil One; Namuci, "He who does not let go" (he hold over beings easily); Kanha (in Sanskrit: Krishna), the Dark One.

If he's a spirit, then the name "the Dark One" strikes out most to me, no thanks to all the conditioning done by Hollywood horror movies. Especially since a hook is mentioned to be one of his props in this translation version of The Great Struggle Sutta:

The "Dark One" or Kanha (Sanskrit: Krishna), is another name for Mara. He is the Indian Cupid (Kamadeva) and personifies sensual passions. He carries a lute (vina), mentioned at the close, with which he captivates beings by his playing. His other equipment includes a bow, arrows, a noose and a hook (!!!).

These 2 attributes, Dark & a hook, lures me to draw a connection of Mara to the widely reported sightings of a paranormal phenonmenon of our modern world, the Shadow People.

I Sympathize

2010-07-08T04:24:00.013+08:00

Kinda sad & 'heartbroken' to see Germany's last game in World Cup 2010. It just started raining at my place now, giving relief to the tension during the match. It's always kind of sad to see the team that you like collapse on the field after the whistle, faces hanging low, striding dejectedly out from the center field. All those hard work, and luck which have brought them to this stage, this far, all dispersed with a stroke of an unexpected header by Spain.

Spain played really well, I haven't caught any of their match so far. They're balanced in attack and defending, unlike Argentina. Somehow, Germany played a really slow pace today. I don't understand why they're only able to snatch the ball inside the defending box. I don't understand why they lose possession of the ball so frequently today.

But their goalkeeper never fail to do a terrific job. He saved about 3-4 goals today? The ball that shot in from the fast, strong header, he had almost blocked it.

I can only say that Germany probably went the furthest that their skills and talents brought them. But I couldn't help feeling that the players looked somewhat troubled even mins after the kickoff. Could it be the damning prophecy from that busybody Paul Octopus? IT's a real nuisance. It's owner is a real nuisance. What right do they have to cast a highly publicized physiological damper into the team's pre-match spirit - which probably affected their play.

Well, another thing that hit home for me is that the most of the players, at least on the Germany side are in the same age range as me 24-26. They're in their peak of their careers. That means that I should move on from feeling like the new-kid-on-the-block too. By the time of the Next World Cup, I'll be freaking age 29. These players from my age range will probably be replaced with some younger ones.

Here are my favourite parting words:

So long and thanks for all the fish
So sad that it should come to this

PS: Well, I might as well throw in a meditation sitting now. Thanks to the nice weather, and to make it a first dawn sitting.

2010 World Cup, Germany in the Semis

2010-07-07T19:02:00.004+08:00

I'm an appreciator of most sport games, and the World Cup comes only once in 4 years, so I'm hopping onto the bandwagon of writing on this World Cup fever for today.

Coming up later tonight will be Germany's match against España. And I will be sooo crossing my fingers than Germany will win effortlessly. I shan't have big dreams of Germany becoming crown Champions until the finals are confirmed, but every match that they're in, I pray hard that they will kick in a goal, and then a next goal...and then a another goal...and then another. My dream team may not have the world's best players and world's best ex-players as managers, but somehow an affection was born. It's love at first sight, starting with their uniform, and then Ballack, Klose, and then their then mighty goalkeeper Oliver, their underdog style. Their team spirit. I remember feeling terribly sad when they lost to a very strong Brazil in 2002 World Cup. They were THIS CLOSE to getting it. I really hope that this time, they will not go home disappointed.

Their team spirit is most apparent from the fact that Klose is just 1 goal away from matching the World Cup individual scoring record. And mind you, Klose is not a fantastic player like the much talked about talents we've heard about like Messi, Zidane, Ronaldinho, or even Ronaldo the current record holder. He's either a super well-liked magnet that most of his team players are willing to pass the ball to him so that he can score and put it in his name. Or that most of Germany players are not selfish enough to attempt at scoring themselves from a large distance and from awkward angles (saw alot of that happening on Brazil's side this time round).

I'll fry that smart-a** octopus for breakfast if Germany wins.

Aggregate - Mental Formations

2010-07-05T19:12:00.002+08:00

'Finally, there is the aggregate of mental formation or volition (Samskara). This aggregate may be described as a conditioned response to the object of experience. In this sense, it partakes of the meaning of habit as well. We have spent some time discussing the component of mental formation when we considered the twelve components of dependent origination. You will remember that on that occasion, we described mental formation as the impression created by previous actions, the habit energy stored up from countless former lives. Here, as one of the five aggregates also, the aggregate of mental formation plays a similar role. But it has not only a static value, it also has a dynamic value because just as our reactions are conditioned by former deeds, so are our responses here and now motivated and directed in a particular way by our mental formation or volition. Mental formation or volition therefore has a moral dimension just as perception has a conceptual dimension, and feeling has a emotional dimension. You will notice I use the terms mental formation and volition together. This is because each of these terms represents one half of the meaning of Samskara - mental formation represents the half that comes from the past, and volition represents the half that functions here and now. So mental formation and volition function to determine our responses to the objects of experience and these responses have moral consequences in the sense of wholesome, unwholesome or neutral.

We can now see how the physical and mental factors of experience worked together to produce personal experience. To make this a little clearer, let us take the help of a couple of concrete examples. Let us say after today’s lecture you decide to take a walk in the garden. As you walk in the garden, your eyes come into contact with a visible object. As your attention focuses on that visible object, your consciousness becomes aware of visible object as yet indeterminate. Your aggregate of perception will identify that visible object as, let us say, a snake. Once that happens, you will respond to that visible object with the aggregate of feeling - the feeling of displeasure, or more specifically that of fear. Finally, you will react to that visible object with the aggregate of mental formation or volition, with the intentional action of perhaps running away or perhaps picking up a stone.

In all our daily activities, we can see how all the five aggregates work together to produce personal experience. At this very moment, for instance, there is contact between two elements of the aggregate of form - the sound of my voice and your ears. Your consciousness becomes aware of the sound of my voice. Your aggregate of perception identifies the words that I am speaking. Your aggregate of feeling responds with an emotional response - pleasure, displeasure or indifference. Your aggregate of mental formation or volition responds with a conditioned reaction - sitting in attention, daydreaming or perhaps yawning. We can analyze all our personal experience in terms of the five aggregates.

There is one point that has to be remembered regarding the nature of the five aggregates, and that is that each and all of them are in constant change. The elements that constitute the aggregate of form are impermanent and are in a state of constant change. We discussed this last week - the body grows old, weak, sick and so forth. The things around us are also impermanent and change constantly. Our feelings too are constantly changing. We may respond today to a particular situation with a feeling of pleasure. To-morrow, we may respond to that same situation with the feeling of displeasure. Today we may perceive an object in a particular way. At a later time, under different circumstances, our perception will change. In semi-darkness we perceive a rope to be a snake. The moment the light of the torch falls upon that object, we perceive it to be a rope. So our perceptions like our feelings and like the material objects of our experience are ever changing and impermanent. So too, our mental formations are impermanent and ever-changing. We alter our habits. We can learn to be kind and compassionate. We can acquire the attitudes of renunciation and equanimity and so forth. Consciousness too is impermanent and constantly changing. Consciousness arises dependent upon an object and a sense organ. It cannot exist independently. As we have seen, all the physical and mental factors of our experience like our bodies, the physical objects around us, our minds and our ideas are impermanent and constantly changing. All these aggregates are constantly changing and impermanent. They are processes, not things. They are dynamic, not static.'

From BuddhaNet

Buddha's "charter of free inquiry"

2010-07-01T17:07:00.014+08:00

Most are attracted to Buddhism due to the it's reputation for invitation for inquiry & investigation. What are the roots of this?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Dhajagga Sutta, the Buddha said this:

"If you can't recollect me, then you should recollect the Dhamma: 'The Dhamma is well-expounded by the Blessed One, to be seen here & now, timeless, inviting verification, pertinent, to be realized by the wise for themselves.' For when you have recollected the Dhamma, whatever fear, terror, or horripilation there is will be abandoned."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These are the 6 qualities of the Dhamma namely (taken from Wiki):

Anguttara Nikaya 11.12 The Six qualities of the Dhamma:

1. Svakkhato: The Dhamma is not a speculative philosophy, but is the Universal Law found through enlightenment and is preached precisely. Therefore it is Excellent in the beginning (Sila — Moral principles), Excellent in the middle (Samadhi — Concentration) and Excellent in the end (Panna — Wisdom),

2. Sanditthiko: The Dhamma is testable by practice and known by direct experience,

3. Akaliko: The Dhamma is able to bestow timeless and immediate results here and now, for which there is no need to wait until the future or next existence.

4. Ehipassiko: The Dhamma welcomes all beings to put it to the test and to experience it for themselves.

5. Opaneyiko: The Dhamma is capable of being entered upon and therefore it is worthy to be followed as a part of one's life.

6. Paccattam veditabbo vinnunhi: The Dhamma may be perfectly realized only by the noble disciples who have matured and enlightened enough in supreme wisdom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is the 4th proclaimed quality of Ehipassiko or "inviting verification", which is one of the evident roots of this reputation.

But how to go about verifying?

In the Kalama Sutta, the Buddha said:

"So, as I said, Kalamas: 'Don't go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, "This contemplative is our teacher." When you know for yourselves that, "These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; these qualities are praised by the wise; these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to welfare & to happiness" — then you should enter & remain in them.'

It is interesting to note that the Buddha ruled out SO MANY ways that we can rely on for our verification.

Don't go by reports - don't use any information that's been given to us to judge & conclude

Don't go by legends - don't use Jataka tales to judge & conclude

Don't go by traditions - don't use cultural & family traditions to judge & conclude

Don't go by scriptures - don't use any sacred, ancient texts to judge & conclude

Don't go by logical conjecture, inference, analogies, agreement through pondering views - this rules out the use of almost all or all (unless you can think or a process which doesn't fall under them) logical reasoning processes to judge & conclude

Don't go by probability - this rules out the use of non-logical reasoning or randomness to judge & conclude

Don't go by the thought, "This contemplative is our teacher." - this rules out the reliance in a contemplative to judge & conclude. It is interesting to wonder if "contemplative" includes the Buddha himself. I think it does.

So! Doesn't that leaves us with no other remaining method for verification?

I think the Buddha gave us 2 tools, that is stated in the 2nd proclaimed quality of the Dhamma itself: Sanditthiko - The Dhamma is testable by practice and known by direct experience. One is practice, other is direct experience. And direct experience is merely what we experience.

Supporting evidences for the Buddha's instruction to his followers and non-followers for the use of this method of verification can probably be found in many places. As noted by Ven Thanissaro Bhikkhu in his translation of the Kalama Sutta,

"For further thoughts on how to test a belief in practice, see MN 61, MN 95, AN 7.80, and AN 8.53. For thoughts on how to judge whether another person is wise, see MN 110, AN 4.192, and AN 8.54."

I'll spend some other time to look at these instances pointed out by Ven Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Favourite Sutta

2010-06-28T01:27:00.018+08:00

Nakulapita Sutta is The Chosen One.

To become my favourite Sutta (for now that is).

I didn't need to crack my brain, sifting through numerous others to come down to this choice. It came to me naturally, and at the right time - a time of need. It was triggered by seeing this need in another person. A need to pick the brightest light which could give true solace in a time of darkness.

Darkness is overcomed by Light;
Despire is overcomed by Hope;
(Ailing) Body is overcomed by Mind.

For many good reasons, this Sutta has proven itself that it should be remembered well:

1. It is applicable to a householder; anyone who issn't on the winning side of the time scale; anyone who issin't on the winning side of the health scale.

Basically, it is fitting even when these 3 dimensions for opportunities are dim. However, we need to be blessed and trained in some other internal qualities like wisdom, reasoning ability, open mindedness, patience, meticulousness, etc etc

2. It can be recalled easily due to its Body vs Mind relation

3. Gives lots of light, hope, comfort, freedom (from my own perspective)

4. Embodies the Buddha's teachings well. Reasons being that:

First it covers affliction (suffering) in the body, mind. Then it talks about being "seized" by the assumption of the self in the 5 aggregates experienced by this body and mind, which principally falls under the 2nd Noble Truth of craving. Why I feel it is the 2nd Noble Truth itself is because unless we are attached to these 5 aggregates, we would be "craving" for more of them.

And lastly the Buddha's and Ven. Sariputta's instructions to remain unafflicted in the mind by detaching from the view of self-attachment to the 5 aggregates. This is the 3rd Noble Truth itself too, or so I think right now.

A few lessons

2010-06-24T21:30:00.005+08:00

Taken from The 10 most important things they didn't teach you in school.

At #10: Sex Ed (for Girls): How to Spot a Douchebag
Young ladies, you're in your teens now and already you have no doubt run into some guys who are being suspiciously nice to you. Likely you have figured out that in many cases, this has nothing to do with them being nice guys and everything to do with them desperately wanting you to touch their boner..(Read more from the link)

Totally true, unfortunately most girls have unneccessarily wasted some amount of time, headache/hearache, effort & tears on nothing but douchebags who pretend to be deserving of quality time and attention. That's a tiny fault on the girls' part as well, as we have yet to learn lesson #1.

At #1: Social Studies: Life is Hard and You Will Die, Get Over It
We're not foolish enough to think one semester of this course can deprogram years of Hollywood bullshit. That's why we make this a daily class, that continues from K through 12.

Many of you will get very depressed in your 20s, and some of you will stay that way the rest of your lives. Over the years your garage band will break up, you career dream will fall through, a girl will break your heart, you'll be unhappy with your body, you'll lose your parents, your favorite pet will die, you will endure at least one very terrible injury that requires hospitalization and breaks new boundaries for what kind of pain you thought was possible.

And your childhood memories will be exploited to buy vast amounts of cocaine. Deal with it.
The reason why this will lead to depression, where it may not have done so for an equivalent person 200 years ago, is because you were raised on illogical stories where things always work out for the main character for utterly arbitrary reasons. Han Solo can shoot straight, but none of the bad guys can--even though they train more. John McClane beats the terrorists because he has toughness and perseverance--something the bad guys lack, even though they should be equally desperate. If a guy and a girl are right for each other, they always wind up together, careers and geography and personal hang-ups be damned.

Here's the problem: these fantasies were created by adults, as a means of escape from the real world. You, however, have been watching them since you were five--for most of us these were our first impressions of how the adult world works, even if on a subconscious level. You had no context to realize they were bullshit. It sounds frivolous, but that doesn't change the fact that some of you reading this will not survive the long process of learning how different the real world is.

If it helps, try to remember that you're still one of the one percent of humanity that was born in a time and place where there is such a thing as anesthesia.

Chapters Include:
I. You Can Die at Any Moment, Get Over It;

II. Required Reading: The Road, by Cormac McCarthy;

III. Roleplay Exercise: Various Scenes from The Road, by Cormac McCarthy;

IV. Yes, It Takes 10,000 Hours to Get Really Good at Something, But At Least You're Not Scavenging Through a Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland

This is kind of Dharmic. Life is nothing like the Hollywood, Bollywood, Korean, Chinese dramas, we will suffer setbacks and some unfortunate events, not everything will turn out fine, accept that this is the real world, and be grateful of how we came to be here now.

My ego, my ego, my ego!

2010-06-24T12:17:00.009+08:00

Using dependent origination concept here, my mind came to the desire of taking a look at ego with these events as originating phenomenas.

- reading http://americanbuddhist.blogspot.com/2010/06/blogisattva-pros-and- cons.html
(I am fully aware that blogging is one way someone could feel like they're raised to the highest of pedastals, having developed a huge ego from all the fans, facebook; tweeter followers, media attention, blog awards, etc)
- reading http://sucitto.blogspot.com/2010/06/who-we-really-are.html
(A personably wonderful writing, providing new insights and triggering new thoughts about The Personality, The ego.)

A dictionary’s definition of ego:

1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
All of us are still subscribed, conscious or not, to this self view . According to Wiki, it’s the Identity view - The speculative view that a so-called self exists in the five aggregates (physical forms, feelings/sensations, perception, mental formations and consciousness).

2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
Have no idea where to place this. Could this correspond to the empirical self (atta paṭilābhā) as teacher mentioned in http://buddhismatoz.com/s/Self.html ?

3a An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
A grounded belief in one’s ownership of the inner ego; the self, resulting in exhibiting an overblown confidence via the outer ego. While I have no wish to be a star of any kind, if I’m the target of a rude or meanly sarcastic personal attack, the roots of self-importance brings out some claws and defences.

3b. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.
For social and psychological well being, it is important to take confidence in the make-up of our inner-ego. If we are tempted to lie to another in order to server our own interest, one factor which would incline us to tell the truth would be this confidence in our inner-ego. Something like 'I’m will not lie, a liar is not what I want to be become.'

One thing’s for sure, an ego is not what non-personality (Anatta) is.

As Ajahn Sucitto mentioned, the Buddha did not teach how to understand and identify our inner self. It’s funny when I think of it. Yes indeed, the Buddha did not teach us introsepection to find and understand our inner self as in “I’m always sleeping and eating the whole day, so my inner self is lazy & ruled by gluttony.”

He taught along the line of aligning our mental qualities to the path of liberation from suffering, suffering experienced by our self (the empirical self?).

A Dream for the People

2010-06-19T16:22:00.012+08:00

The Olympic draem, American Idol dream, dreams to be rich and famous (infamous can be worth almost as much too) can never get quite as big as a dream for a nation of people.

Something about dreams below.. which is NOT intended to discourage or encourage.

Visionary leaders had dreams that are so big that they seem like rainbows. But they are definately not some idiots. Self-scrificing visionaries perhaps? The moment they emerge as outstanding leaders with an ideology that dared defy the repressing bodies in power, they immediately have a bounty on their heads.

Martin Luther King dreamt this before he was assassinated:

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood."

Mahatma Gandhi dreamt of Indian independence using nonvoilence, and it was rather sad to read about the four assassination attempts and finally the last successful one on this simple man. His dream for the people, philosphy and popularity of this simple man was loathed by those who have sworn to voilence.

"There are many causes that I am prepared to die for but no causes that I am prepared to kill for."

Aung San Su Kyi came from being a national hero's daughter, an educated woman, working in UN, a wife, a mother. Before she gave her personal life and freedom away for the people of her country.

"I don't want Burma to be a basket case forever. I want to empower the people."

What she said here frankly summed up the unambitious, realistic feelings of the Burmese people. Personally I'd hate it to be a basket case forever too. It's a total embarrassment to be stuck as a basket case (I still can't believe she used such a right word) that way for 2 decades.

Discontentment I

2010-06-14T18:41:00.003+08:00

Monday Blues, waking up on the wrong side of bed, mood swing, restlessness, they are all ingredients to making a bleah day. Discontentment has slipped within you. Simply cannot muster any contented feeling to arouse, to bring about so-called true (it probably is) happiness. Without bothering others, I could have this discontentment spent in various ways. I was undecided about which way to spend this discontentment. At last, I decided to get my act together. Downloaded an organizer to help me keep myself in a routine. An honest entry to the organizer told me that I seriously need to get a work report done ASAP. Another honest entry told me I need to work to get fats off my body and to start meditating again. An honest split-sec reflection told me I've everything I NEED. My wants are not endless for now, but they are very difficult to be fulfilled.

A salute to the 2nd Army of Mara, Dissatisfaction. Having identified the pain, I frantically looked for a quick source to tackle Dissatisfaction.

"To combat this discontent, you must become an abhirati, a person who is delighted in and devoted to the Dhamma."
From the book In This Very Life by Sayadaw U Pandita.

Dependently Originated Phenomena

2010-06-11T13:50:00.010+08:00

Cause and its related, resultant effect takes place discretely. At least that's what I've come to believe. Taking an example, enrolling into a High school doesn't mean that one will graduate from it. The effect of enrolling into a High school is merely the successful enrollment. It takes many years, direct & indirect causes from many originitors for a phenomena such as the enrolling of a student into a High school to become one of the many many dependenly originated phenomenas - successful graduation of the student.

I'm hardly knowledgable on the Buddhist philosophy. But I believe this philosophy of dependent origination is best seen in a refined, broken-down view. Doesn't the Buddha advised us to see this body as consisting of wind elements, earth, fire, water? This dependent origination law will only make sense if the same object is used.

Me not eating for 1 week (Phenomena #1 happening to me)will cause (causes the dependent origination of) me to die (Phenomena #2 happening to me). But me not eating for 1 week (Phenomena #1 happening to me)will NOT cause a boy in Africa to have more food(Phenomena #XXXXXX9783273 happening to someone else). In absolute truth, Phenomena #1 and Phenomena #XXXXXX9783273 are related. But nonetheless through many thousands of discrete dependenly originated phenomenas which travelled through hundrens of subjects in the human food chain. Then Phenomena #XXXXXX9783273 is hardly remotely dependent on Phenomena #1.

Faith in the Yet Unknowns

2010-06-03T16:34:00.008+08:00

As I was reading this story on the new wave of Evangelicals (Young Evangelicals: Expanding Their Mission), I couldn't help thinking about their Faith and consequently mine as well. It appears that an evangelical Faith has a powerful hold on their lives, from the school they go to, the Christian affiliated organizations they hope to join, their professed Calling. Their Faith influences them to lobby for social causes and changes to the usual selected legislation covering education and abortion and a few other pet areas. It must require a remarkable amount of Faith. It got me thinking how they grew that large Faith in themselves - and here I'm referring to a new generation of evangelicals who grow up in a time of globalization where they could exercise their minds to envision a world quite different than one held by the Church - which I thought would have weakened their Faith roots. The article gave an example of the expected devastation globalization would have on their Faith: "When students at Wheaton and other Christian schools go on short-term missions during spring break or over the summer, they may expect to spend their time painting churches or handing out Bibles. But once on the ground, they're faced with first-order problems like a lack of clean drinking water or safe housing, and they return with a sense of poverty's scope that cannot be alleviated simply by prayer."

What could be the reason for their unwavering Faith then, if they experience ignored prayers which should be urgently answered. Could it be that they are pondering about the salvation of their eternal souls every night?

What is Faith to me, and have I got it? As my understanding can be too simplistic at times, I queried someone and got a nice surprise with this response. Faith is the confidence we have in the Buddha and his message, which has been largely reasonable and correct. It is the benefit of the doubt we give to the Buddha and his message for those parts which we cannot prove.

I'll take a look at Faith at http://buddhismatoz.com/f/Faith.html, for a better idea.

Birth, Enlightenment, Death (Parinirvana)

2010-05-28T01:23:00.009+08:00

A chronicle of The Enlightened One, who once walked this Earth:

(I couldn't find a satisfactorily cute-yet-mighty, standalone pic without anyone but the Buddha when he was just born. Had to made do with the one below.)

And finally, this is by far my favourite Parinibbana portrayal.

As the Buddha was lying down, the Enlightened One said thus to the Venerable Ananda and the rest of the Bhikkus:

"Enough, Ananda! Do not grieve, do not lament! For have I not taught from the very beginning that with all that is dear and beloved there must be change, separation, and severance? Of that which is born, come into being, compounded, and subject to decay, how can one say: 'May it not come to dissolution!'? There can be no such state of things. Now for a long time, Ananda, you have served the Tathagata with loving-kindness in deed, word, and thought, graciously, pleasantly, with a whole heart and beyond measure. Great good have you gathered, Ananda! Now you should put forth energy, and soon you too will be free from the taints."

"Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"

As the Buddha entered into Parinirvana, never to be born again into any world, Sakka, the king of the gods uttered thus:

"Transient are all compounded things, Subject to arise and vanish; Having come into existence they pass away; Good is the peace when they forever cease. "

As only the Bhikkus remained, Venerable Maha Kassapa spoke out thus:

"Enough friends! Do not grieve, do not lament! For has not the Blessed One declared that with all that is dear and beloved there must be change, separation, and severance? Of that which is born, come into being, compounded, and subject to decay, how can one say: 'May it not come to dissolution!'?"

As I reflected this, I thought thus:

"All compounded things are subject to decay, seperation and impermanence.

The chronical of myself: Birth, Unknown, Death, Rebirth..."

Worry

2010-05-25T21:34:00.005+08:00

Worry is to me right now, something as plain as a fear of the future. Absurd as it may be, worrisome people can't help but worry about situations which may or may not occur even in the remotest of possibilities. Worry at its worse becomes a crippling fear.

Coincidentally, I found a short writing by Ven. Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda in Problems & Responsibilites which drew a parallel with worry and fear:

Fear and worry are born of the imaginings of a mind that is influenced by worldly conditions. They are rooted in craving and attachment...Those who are youthful and strong have fear of dying young. Those who are old and suffering worry about living too long. Locked in between are those who craze for merriment all the year round.

Joyful expectations of the pleasant seem to pass off too quickly. Fearful expectations of the unpleasant create anxieties that do not seem to go away.

The training of the mind, otherwise known as mental culture, is the first step towards taming mental unrest. The Buddha has explained:

From craving springs grief,
from craving springs fear.
For him who is wholly free from craving,
there is no grief, much less fear.

Fear is nothing more than a state of mind. One's state of mind is subject to control and direction; the negative use of thought produces fear, the positive use realizes hopes and ideals.

A noted British anatomist was once asked by a student what was the best cure for fear, and he answered, "Try doing something for someone."

The student .... requested further enlightenment whereupon his instructor said, "You can't have two opposing sets of thoughts in your mind at one and the same time." One set of thoughts will always drive the other out. If for instance, your mind is completely occupied with an unselfish desire to help someone else, you can't be harbouring fear at the same time.

Fear and worry in moderation are natural instincts of self-preservation. But constant irrational fear and prolonged worry are relentless enemies to the human body. They derange the normal bodily functions.

Why worry? Someone asked me rhetorically, and I was confounded. I worry, simply because I want (crave for) this and that, and if I take this action path and that doesn't happen in the future, then I will not get what I want. It's not hard to see, it's easily understandable.

On the other side, let's also come back to "see" the present to be thankful that we have the present in the first place. A little something from Buddha-in-a-Pocket App. (I'm hardly ever original)

Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn't learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little,
and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick,
and if we got sick, at least we didn't die,
so let us all be thankful.

'What the Buddha Taught' App

2010-05-23T21:29:00.003+08:00

Quotes can actually be powerful. I got some worthy quotes for myself from this App.

Remember you don't
meditate to "get" anything,
but to get "rid" of things.
We do it, not with desire,
but with letting go. If you
"want" anything, you won't find it

~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman wanted to know how to deal with anger.
I asked when anger arore whose anger it was.
She said it was hers.
Well, if it really was her anger,
then she should be able to tell it to go away,
shouldn't she? But it really isn't hers to command.
Holding onto anger as a personal possession will cause suffering.

~~~~~~~~~~~

If anger really belonged to us, it would have to obey us.
If it doesn't obey us, that means it's only a deception.
Don't fall for it.
Whenever the mind is happy or sad, don't fall for it.
It's all a deception.

~~~~~~~~~~~

If you want to wait around to meet the future Buddha,
then just don't practice (the Dhamma).
You'll probably be around long enough to see him when he comes.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Relating to the above quote:

Going for Refuge

2010-05-19T11:02:00.005+08:00

Buddham saranam gacchami

I go to the Buddha for refuge.

Dhammam saranam gacchami

I go to the Dhamma for refuge.

Sangham saranam gacchami

I go to the Sangha for refuge.

Dutiyampi...

Tatiyampi ...

These 3 verses are indisputably the first Buddhist chants I was taught and have done ever since. Like any Theravada Buddhist, they are the basic preliminary chant whenever I happen to do any chanting whether in a group or alone. I've always thought that I've long gone to the Buddha, Dhamma & Sangha for refuge. It's true I go to them for a spiritual-self refuge. But I'm realising it's not entirely the case that I've gone to the 3 Gems for total-self refuge.

I have a spiritual-self which is the non-worldly me, and the material-self which is the very worldly me. In fact, while I'm chanting the Three Refuges, I'm still holding onto, unable to let go of the opposite refuge. I'm expecting my attachments to provide me with the refuge for the worldly me. I'm looking for material, emotional refuges - ultimately impermanent, false refuges. Only attachments can provide these type of refuges.

Impermanently Permanent

2010-05-06T19:44:00.002+08:00

Again! I've caught myself up in an oxymoron.

This time it occurred to me while reading the following paragraph from Let Go of Fire, by Ajahn Sumedho (Thanks to Nathan blogger at Dangerous Harvests):

"So the practice is-just mindfulness. No longer do I long for tranquillity. Tranquillity comes and I see it as impermanent. Confusion comes-impermanent; peacefulness-impermanent; war-impermanent. I just keep seeing the impermanent nature of all conditions and I have never felt more at peace with the world than I do now, living in Britain-much more so than I ever did when I was, say, those few days on that island."

I've been taking a break from consciously practicing mindfulness & meditation since the crazy attempt at a timeless meditation - which explains my lack of 'insights' these few days and lack of the general joyous effort. But I couldn't take a break from some quick online Dharma reading.

So anyway - the above attributing of the word impermanent to those mental states don't appeal to me at all right now. I'm even having a little smirk in my mind when I read those bold words. Reason? It requires an expert to really convince or possibly brainwash himself that something like a confusion state of mind is impermanent. Maybe it's just me. But I've always failed to convince myself that something is impermanent. I could be telling myself that pain is impermanent, but I'm still seeing them continuously streaming into the next moment.

I find myself waiting for impermanence to finally show itself. Sometimes, I wait long enough; sometimes, it just doesn't appear. Waiting for the continuous streaming of the same state into the next moment - which clearly has the characteristic of permanence within that period of moments - to change.

Non-Bombastic Words

2010-05-05T00:32:00.000+08:00

The written language is flawed. The more artful it is, the more it can be interpreted in so many ways by different people, which can lead to an entirely opposite message as intended. In school, we give scores accordingly to those who can interpret a writer's work 'correctly'. Interestingly, we don't have such measures outside of formal education and artful works become susceptible to different interpretations as was originally intended without consideration for the writer's personality, context & implicit/explicit meanings.

Best to keep the message simple, plain, as plain as it can get. Which is why I like what this Ukkacita Sutta says:

"And which is the assembly trained in cross-questioning and not in bombast?

"There is the case where in any assembly when discourses that are literary works — the works of poets, artful in sound, artful in rhetoric, the work of outsiders, words of disciples — are recited, the monks don't listen, don't lend ear, don't set their hearts on knowing them; don't regard them as worth grasping or mastering. But when the discourses of the Tathagata — deep, deep in their meaning, transcendent, connected with emptiness — are recited, they listen, they lend ear, they set their hearts on knowing them; they regard them as worth grasping & mastering. And when they have mastered that Dhamma, they cross-question one another about it and dissect it: 'How is this? What is the meaning of this?' They make open what isn't open, make plain what isn't plain, dispel doubt on its various doubtful points. This is called an assembly trained in cross-questioning and not in bombast."

Shakespeare of Lust

2010-05-03T13:49:00.005+08:00

Juliet:
Go! Ask his name – that enchanting one.

Dharma, the nurse:
His name is Lust, and a Namuci,
The only son of your great enemy.

Juliet:
My only love sprung from my only hate!
Too early seen unknown, and known too late!
Prodigious birth of love it is to me
That I must love a loathed enemy.

Dharma, the nurse:
When this mind is ever ablaze,
Why this ecstasy, why this jubilation?
Shrouded in darkness
Is this colossal labyrinth
Will you not seek the light?

*adapted from Shakespeare & Dhammapada quotes

The Great Struggle

2010-05-02T15:00:00.004+08:00

O Mara, Mara, wherefore art thou Mara?

Sensual pleasures are your first army,
Discontent your second.
Your third is hunger and thirst.
The fourth is called craving.
Sluggishness and laziness are your fifth,
The sixth is called fear,
Your seventh is doubt,
Conceit and ingratitude are your eighth,
Gain, renown, honor and whatever fame
is falsely received are the ninth,
And whoever both extols himself and
disparages others
has fallen victim to the tenth.
That is your army, O Mara,
the striking force of darkness.
One who is not a hero cannot conquer it,
but having conquered it,
one obtains happiness.

*source from a random page of the book In This Very Life by Sayadaw U Pandita

Conversations with the Buddha

2010-05-01T00:08:00.008+08:00

Me: Greetings again, the Revered One. (Looking sheepish)

Buddha: (Eyes remains closed. Remains silent. Thinks 'This bad Buddhist certainly hasn't been steadfast.')

Me: (Looking tired) I have come before the Revered One again. I have been fighting the bonds of Mara but the bonds would not go away. Could you please make them go away?

Buddha: If, like a broken gong,
you silence yourself.

If, like a sturdy Banyan,
you still yourself
in the blowing of the winds.

*Disclaimer: These are not the real words of the Buddha.

'Right' Effort

2010-04-28T18:43:00.008+08:00

Right Effort of the 8thFold Path is arguably the least debated factor of all. Right View, Right Understanding - they are all very inviting for intellectual debates. But EFFORT! Who would want to talk about Effort. Who would want to give Effort any attention.

Interestingly I've found that Everything intentional happens because of Effort. Duh! It's Duh, but still a very BIG DUH. Something happens because of Effort. Nothing happens because of Effort.

Effort can be of all sorts: theoretically expounded 'Right' Effort, 'Skillful' Effort, Courageous Effort, Joyous Effort, Drudgery Effort, & any other adjective you could possibly associate with Effort.

I'll look at the adjective 'Right' first. There are so many expounded versions of 'Right' Effort. Most of them categorically define 'Right' Effort as Effort which is:

1. prevent the arising of unarisen unwholesome states;
2. abandon unwholesome states that have already arisen;
3. arouse wholesome states that have not yet arisen;
4. maintain and perfect wholesome states already arisen.
*source http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/noble8path6.pdf

And then what are unwholesome/wholesome states?

The unwholesome states (akusala dhamma) are the defilements, and the thoughts, emotions, and intentions derived from them, whether breaking forth into action or remaining confined within. The wholesome states (kusala dhamma) are states of mind untainted by defilements, especially those conducing to deliverance.
*same source as above

I'm just assuming here that thoughts, emotions, intentions all begin with mental states. So I'll take unwholesome/wholesome states here as unwholesome/wholesome mental states. Which brings me to the 14 unwholesome mental factors and the 25 wholesome mental factors.

14 Unwholesome Mental Factors, in no particular order:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*sources:
- The Manuals of Buddhism by Ledi Sayadaw
-A Comprehensive Manual of Abhidhamma, The Philosophical Psychology of Buddhism by Bhikkhu BOdhi as General Editor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Greed; lobha (greed)
2) Hatred; dosa (hate)
3) Envy; issa (envy)
4) Sloth; thina (sloth)
5) Conceit; mana (conceit)
6) Worry; kukkucca (worry)
7) Torpor; middha (torpor)
8) Shamelessness; ahirika (shamelessness)

The rest of the 5 unwholesome states don't match exactly. I tried to match them as best as I could.

9) vicikiccha (perplexity)
10) moha (dullness)
11) macchariya (selfishness)
12) anottappa (recklessness)
13) ditthi (error)
14) uddhacca (distraction)

9) Doubt
10) Delusion
11) Avarice
12) Fearlessness of wrong
13) Wrong view
14) Restlessness

After all that's been read, cognitively understood as best as I could, written down on 'Right' Effort, it can never match up to Joyous Effort.

That Joyful Effort which I cannot yet identify.

My experience with Theravada Fanatism

2010-04-25T12:50:00.013+08:00

Currently reading Broken Buddha Critical Reflections on Theravada and a Plea for a New Buddhism by teacher S. Dhammika.

And I could totally relate to it. It's such a relief that such contradictions, fanaticism, biases have been voiced out.

It's strange, but these features of Traditional Theravada had directly caused an unknown layperson like me great confusion and bewilderment. These are just personal thoughts which are independent of the source mentioned above.

I never understood why some Traditional Theravada monks that I went to at temples continuously recite long Pali verses to us the laypeople at a big ceremony. I wondered if I was the only person who was unfamiliar with those Pali verses. Or what they meant. They can go on for a period of time straight reciting that, pausing only to quickly clear the throat. I'm not supposed to criticize even objectively or doubt them so didn't give much thought to it. But it certainly issn't an effective way of teaching the Dharma. I always have to keep in perspective their possible motivations for joining the monk-hood, which in some cases can be figured out easily. Poverty & some other circumstances like orphan-hood. It may not be a genuine pursuit of interest.

Speaking of which, I was once approached by a friend of a mult-millionaire to suggest "suitable" temples\monasteries where that millionaire can become a monk. Motivation for that millionaire? He was in suicidal state over his ex-wife, girlfriend/s, money. He wanted somewhere convenient to escape to. I'm not being cynical but these extremely suicidal people should go to a psychiatrist instead of a religious place. If a psychiatrist is too formidable, then they should go to a doctor. Take painkillers, take anti-depressants. Fortunately, he didn't become a monk. I seriously think that with his head so messed up like that, he won't be able to see anything right. Medicines would work better. As it turned out, he did attempt to commit suicide but failed just as the police arrived. Fortunately, I don't personally know him.

When I was trying out the practice of Uposatha, there are 2 BIG moles which was sticking out. The milk and the type of bed. They were very queer indeed. Is milk supposed to give you as much energy as rice? Am I craving for milk? Need I consult a nutritionist expert to give an official verdict if it is food, drink or ingredient powder? And of course I don't sleep on a simple, low & small bed. And the Cinderella 12pm time boundary. Rigid, peculiar, hassle. Causing circumstances for more suffering for myself.

And boys are supposed to be "ordained" as a novice monk for a few days as part of the Tradition. Any parents go through alot of big troubles to ensure that this is done. And they play cheat!!! The younger the better, 4, 5 years old, so that the boy would be less aware and thus feel less pain & suffering in the experience. I saw my very young relative who is so accustomed to the American way of life put through such an experience - crying, alone among bald strangers he don't know, alien environment, alien language. I don't get it.

Buddha's Personal Admonishment

2010-04-22T22:44:00.008+08:00

What would the Buddha say to me if I could go to him face-to-face?

Me: Greetings & Good Evening, the revered one!

Buddha: (Open his eyes & moved his head slowly. Gazed at me with soft kindness, dispassion & open-heartedly) Nods once slightly.

Me: (Understands that the Buddha is very much sought after by humans & devas, and wants to leave him in peace. Must quickly get down to business. Must ask him the most general question, so that he could access me overall and give the most suitable advice.) The revered one, please with your compassion & wisdom, could you direct me some personal advice on the Path?

Buddha: (Gaze at me with understanding. Close his eyes, pause for 3 sec) Listen carefully now.

Me: Takes out paper & pen. Anticipates in eagerness.

Buddha:

You yourself must strive;
The Buddhas only point the way.
Those meditative ones who thread the path
are released from the bonds of Mara.

(Pauses again for 3 secs)

The idler who does not exert himself
when he should,
who though young and strong
is full of sloth,
with a mind full of vain thoughts --
such an indolent man
does not find the path to wisdom.

(Stops & remains silent, eyes remaining closed)

Me: (So I guess that's all, that short, that simple. Ok, fine. Very happy, very contented) Such rareness is the ability to come before the Buddha, the revered one himself to be personally directed! Grateful, is me!

(Quietly departs)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 2 stanzas are from the Dhammapada.

Paradox & Meditation

2010-04-22T00:07:00.005+08:00

Contradictions, paradoxes.

This picture though not the one I was initially intrigued with, is in a way a representation of myself.

Symbolism of the future set in the past. The reason why I like pictures of children shown in B&W. I like it for the message, the contradiction which jerks out from these photos.

My present contradiction: Trying to pretend that I have nothing left to do during meditation, when outside of it I'm getting subconsciously anxious and preparing for an interview.

Tough juggle!

How do I pretend that I'm so 100% interested in that position in that industry. How do I pretend that I actually know what I want to be in 5 years time. Heck, I don't even know what I want to be in 3 years time. Neither do I want to think about it. Truth is, ideally in 3-5 yrs time, I want to be a librarian who gets to read books on the job, or a movie reviewer or to work for UN & get transferred to a faraway country or something else other than whatever is realistically available to me right now. I have alot of pretending to do, hopefully I will be terrific at it. I just hope they don't ask me the 3-5yrs time question, job commitment questions (Actually Sir, I want work-life-balance. Could you please ensure that?), or if I'm want to do VB, SQL or whatever idiotic coding which I suspect will be required. But I want a change right now, so I'll go ahead and pretend, hopefully to get through it.

On the other side, I had a useful meditation session. I wanted to prepare for Death Meditation, so I tried 2 hours. Consciously used the method which I mentioned in Square 1 Meditation.

Quit 30mins before timeout as my effort was not enough to subdue the pain from the pressed little toe. Reason why my effort was not enough was because I didn't want to sustain the effort anymore. I didn't manage to subdue the restless, paining mind with the worse-case-scenario of losing the toe. I was getting into 2-minds, or rather multiple-minds, losing focus, giving up on the effort.

On the brighter side, I learnt these things from this session which is longest so far in a long long time:

State of mind evolves. Actually it evolves every 30mins for me. From drowsy to non-drowsy to a stablized bodily posture to a lighter mind to more acute awareness & then in comes the crushing, damning pain.
Things are screaming for my attention regularly. Sounds, thoughts, itchiness in the ear, acute pain in the legs, in the toes.
My sustained effort was able to subdue the itchiness which felt like an ant crawling into my ear & it was able to subdue an incredible pain in the leg before the compressed toe pain arrived. The mind moved past those "milestones".
Joyful effort is a great way for moving forward and sustaining the effort needed.
I tried to be aware of the "all knowing mind" but it was too omnipresent that I get pulled to those which were screaming for my attention from all directions easier. So I drop the "all knowing mind" and used the abdominal meditation in the last stretch to get more focused. I did felt more focus & oneness as a result of the change.

Basically, I like to have longer meditation sessions is because I know that joyful, effortless effort & a light, clear mind work together like magic. I want to leverage (I have to start familiarizing with these interview-proof works) on that effort & mind to create whatever is there to be created.

I will write on the Joyful effort in a future post. I'm finding it more and more important as days go by. Also, it is an inspiration from a fellow blogger/friend Shirley who highlighted this recently.

A Day

2010-04-21T00:41:00.006+08:00

Although I'm doing nothing dramatic with my life, I feel like I'm so happy, like I'm living it to the fullest (at least right now for a few days I feel like that).
I don't whine about things. I pretend to whine only when very stubborn people whine to me. If I try to solve their whine-ness which they'll never get out of, they'll think I don't understand. So I whine back to show empathy. At least something positive comes out of it.

Life - don't take it seriously in the material sense. We'll all be happier. Don't take it seriously when we're ill, don't take it seriously when we can't get more than what we're getting, don't take it seriously when we can't get what we want.

Take it seriously in the immaterial sense. (or at least that's what I believe)

After a period of absence, I was able to head down to the Buddhist Center for group meditation.
Real reason for my absence is both my busy, unpredictable schedule as well as my unwillingness to upset anyone who might not always support the Buddhisty aspect taking up my time. As always, there was always something to take away from there. I'm very much indebted to the place, the teacher & the management & all the dear friends I got to know there.

Points that I could recall:

Metaphor for thoughts coming & going in the mind is that of clouds floating past in the sky. (Speak of originality, creativity!)
Question to ask ourselves: Why do we associate either positive or negative feedbacks to our experiences & thoughts?

From below onwards, it is my personal thoughts which are independent of the teacher's views.

Regarding the 2nd point, personally it related to the Anatta topic. Why do we always wish, long for, favour & like a positive feedback to experiences & thoughts? In the way of the world, we would be saying that it's human nature. We can research and try to prove for eternity that human nature is wired to function like that, so we should live up to its function - nothing wrong with favoring positive things.

However, as people who want to break free from the very reasons which are making us human, we go one step further. We question this "nature".

1) Is this nature good for us?
2) What are the reasons for this nature
3) Is following this nature necessary?

I believe that we don't have to do anything further but answer those questions and we will realize the futility of following this nature of chasing after, favoring the positive experiences.

DON'T Paralyze your Evolution

2010-04-20T12:25:00.031+08:00

I did not study pyschology, but it doesn't take a psychologist to know that the mind needs to evolve. Actually, it will evolve in time whether you want it to or not.

But if we put in our own effort, we can make it evolve to the way we want it to. It's just amazing that things are in our control!

I like evolving, change, progression. Bring it ON!

Even if I change to degenerate physically, I will still evolve my mind.

So I'll do a reality check to see how I've evolved so far:

Have not touched the gaming console since 3 week ago. Phew!!!! No burden. No desire to continue the adventure. No desire to finish it off. No time wasted sitting wastefully on the sofa for one whole day spent in a World that has no positive effect to my World. No headache from 6-12 hrs continuous gaming.
Have not TV-ed for even one hour. TV dramas bore me to the core. The only time I use TV is to space out, drone myself out with its noisy sounds. So that I don't look too crazy just staring into space.
Documentories & movies are a completely different matter. Have not watched them for 2 weeks (attempt at Green Zone doesn't count). Not dying to watch them. Intend to watch them when I have more time.
Self-induced sadness & unhappiness have not touched me, have not moved me. Or they did not last long enough for me to recall it.
Self-induced anger have not touched me in a long time.
Even when team lead tried to lecture with a pseudo-serious tone me to put me down, discourage me. I did not let it affect me. Who cares! For all I know, he can be envious, he can be skeptical, he can go on and on about his narrow perspective, still fat hope of me buying it.
Stable state of mind has stayed with me for longer periods of time.
More instances of smiling at people whom I interacted with.
More instances of seeing in appreciation, appreciating the effort of others, more instances of saying "Thank you."
More instances of empathizing with others. That they too are subject to delusion, greed, hatred.
More instances of contentment with the present moment.
More instances of awareness of the present moment.
Have not felt like Gollum over music, over News, over things I enjoy, though still enchanted.
Have been doing Chores, have been doing things I need to be doing, have been doing things that I know are good for me.
More positivity.
Feel less like a Macdonald's (I realised to my horror that teacher Bhante saw me through right away the moment he mentioned Macdonald's) baby.
More faith in the small steps I'm taking towards the distant destination of stream-entry.

Someone else's Life

2010-04-19T20:46:00.012+08:00

When things get stagnant, find something new, something different to push you forward.

Someone else's life, someone else's history, someone else's perspective, someone else's ideals, someone else's values, someone else's effort, courage, discipline.

Faith in humanity, faith in the Path.

I found this earlier in the day: Ajahn Sucitto's Alms and the human

It has so much worth for me. I hope it will be the same for you too.

Square 1 Non-Sitting Mindfulness

2010-04-19T20:34:00.003+08:00

I don't have much time today to think through and formulate to decide on the strategy on the non-sitting mindfulness. Yet I feel it is necessary to specify it asap. So this my short explicit stating out of the strategy:

Goal - Same as Stage 1 of sitting meditation - To stay in the present, avoid going off into the past or future. Thoughts will be used when necessary.

Purging methods - Note & acknowledge: Think "I have passion in me" or
Rationaliaze & Deny: Think "This feeling is not me"

Sustaining method - Stay in equanimy state, aware of the present

Square 1 Meditation

2010-04-19T01:17:00.006+08:00

I feel it's time for me to specifically state out exactly what method & structure I'm going to stick to for meditation - at least for this week. Often, I don't know what exactly is my direction & what exactly am I doing. Am I doing what is called concentration meditation or am I juggling 6-senses simultaneous mindfulness or am I doing what is called Insight meditation or am I doing a breathing exercise.

I'm pretty messed up so I'm going back to square one. Only going to use a single, short, easy to read & digest source: The Basic Method of Meditaion by Ajahn Brahmavamso. I want to minimize confusion, information overload & ambiguity.

I have yet to think about the specific method I'm going to stick to for mindfulness outside of sitting, so this method will be just for sitting.

Disclaimer!

I am NOT a meditation teacher or teacher of any kind.
This is a personal summary of the above mentioned source, which may or may not reflect the actual contents of the source.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stage 1:

Goal - To stay in the present, avoid going off into the past or future.
Key - Effort to be directed to letting go, abandon & renounce
Task - Keep the attention right in the present moment for long, unbroken periods of time
Method to do Task - Unmentioned explicitly. But can be inferred from Stage 2 that thoughts of noting of the present moment is the method for this stage. (If you do find that it is mentioned explicitly, please let me know)

Stage 2:

Task - Silent awareness of the present in every moment, avoiding inner speech.
Method - No inner speech, no inner chatter. Mindfully greet everything just as it arrives in the mind.

Stage 3:

Task - Silent present moment awareness of just ONE THING. Silent present moment awareness of the breath.

Method - *Thankfully, it is a free distribution by Buddhist Fellowship Singapore & available on the Web too so I will not run into any copyright issues for chunking the below down. Speaking of which, I had better renew my membership with them. I like this method below, so I'm copying wholesale without any alterations for others to read.*

'When you focus on the breath, you focus on the experience of the breath happening now. You experience "that which tells you what the breath is doing". whether it is going in or out or in between. Some teachers say to watch the breath at the tip of the nose, some say to watch it at the abdomen and some say to move it here and then move it there. I have found through experience that it does not matter where you watch the breath. In fact it is best not to locate the breath anywhere! If you locate the breath at the tip of your nose then it becomes nose awareness, not breath awareness, and if you locate it at your abdomen then it becomes abdomen awareness. Just ask yourself the question right now "Am I breathing in or am I breathing out?" How do you know? There! That experience which tells you what the breath is doing, that is what you focus on in breath meditation. Let go of concern about where this experience is located; just focus on the experience itself.

A common hindrance at this stage is the tendency to control the breathing, and this makes the breathing uncomfortable. To overcome this hindrance, imagine that you are just a passenger in a car looking through the window at your breath. You are not the driver, nor a "back seat driver", so stop giving orders, let go and enjoy the ride. Let the breath do the breathing while you simply watch without interfering. When you know the breath is going in, or the breath is going out, for say one hundred breaths in a row, not missing one, then you have achieved what I call the third stage of this meditation, sustained attention on the breath.'

Stage 4: I'll look at it another time after see how I'm doing at the Stage 1-3.

Loneliness & Us

2010-04-18T04:01:00.007+08:00

The following post is inspired by the blog article Lonely But Never Alone.

Under the night sky, I traced the border of an open platform to approach a cold, white-washed, coporate building. Stealthily, I took side glances at paired silhouettes that were cozying on the stone seats surrounding the space.

Smiled alittle to myself. I thought about Loneliness. A light touch with the universal human trait.
Wait, wasn't I suppose to already have a partner, which disqualifies me to speak of loneliness?

It just goes to show that the feeling of loneliness, just like every other feeling, is well within the reach of everyone. To divulge alittle to validate my qualification, me & my partner is a strange combination, we openly acknowledge that we can't keep each other happy, yet we are still together since Day 1. I like solving problems quickly, so I had quickly told him to go to someone else who can make him happy, or whatever it is. But he has not gone or left yet, so far, for reasons unknown by me. Is it love? Is it clinching onto something you can't let go of? Is it a continuation of habit? Is it sensitivity, consideration for others? I can't be sure.

So yes, Loneliness is my friend too. When Loneliness visits me, I have alone time with him. Loneliness is one of my a loyal, familiar friends, because like all feelings which has been with me for so long, it has been there all along & will continue to be.

The most endearing quality of Loneliness is that he visits everyone else occasionally too. Just to find out how we're doing when we're alone. We all share that same loyal friend. Whilst we might be thinking that Loneliness only visits us, we do not give thought that Loneliness has been a friend to everyone else we know and don't know.

When he arrives, we feel his presence. We have some interaction with him - maybe continue a lingering conversation or sometimes we are quick to usher him out the door. All the same, after some moments of catching up, Loneliness leaves out of our door. Just as he did with his other friends.

Through Loneliness as our mutual friend, we discover that there are others who share the common human condition.

I can't compose poems so this is a really lovely peom from a song, expressively sung. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-S90Uch2as&NR=1

~~The Sound Of Silence~~
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp I turn my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools," said I, "you do not know Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"

But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence

Systematic approach to a Holistic approach

2010-04-17T16:54:00.001+08:00

There's a lot of debate, confusion about how to thread the Noble Eightfold path. Can I say that I've threaded it for the my whole life? For the past month? For the past week even? No, I don't think so.

When did I thread the Noble Eightfold Path then? Only during meditation? Seriously don't know the answer to that.

There's no doubt that the absolute correct way to thread the Eightfold Path is to use the holistic approach. Meaning that all the 8 factors have to be imbued and exerted at the simultaneously and continuously. I feel that the only time this is possible is when there is slow, careful mindfulness.

In order for us form and equip ourselves with the right & best holistic approach to the 8th Fold Path, we need to use a systematic approach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Starting today, I'm gearing up for some experimentation.

You see, I'm impatient about knowing the results, I'm quite skeptical about the approach I'm using. I don't want to wait till my dying days to reflect and ponder on the results of threading the Noble Eightfold Path in this life. I suspect that I may not even have the mental capacity to do that then. Even if I'll have the mental capacity then, I may not be able to objectively reflect on it.

I want to have a taste of how the fruits of the labor will be. Will it be ineffective, will I still feel like Gollum? Will it be amazingly effective, will I turn out to become a holy goddess? Or will it be something more simple.

I don't see any much change in myself so far, except that I'm more alert & awake in my waking hours now. Is this all there is to it? Am I doing something wrong? I think I've been inadequate and quite variant with doing mindfulness. What if I put in more effort & have a fixed approach?

Purpose of experimentation:
1) To find out what/how I will become if I stay dedicated to living my life using the current approach
2) To be able to analyze the effectiveness of the approach

Variable to be kept constant during experimentation:
The approach to be used, consisting of
1) methods of doing mindfulness
2) set of methods used to purge unwanted states of mind

Regarding the variables above, I've yet to determine and fix them.

Now time to head for some sleep as my night and wee morning hours will soon turn into a hectic weekend work.

Cyclic Dukkha

2010-04-17T01:23:00.003+08:00

Dukkha comes in many ways and forms. But the worse kind of dukkha are the uncontrollable cyclic type.

Non-stop breathing feels like a dukkha.

Non-stop heart beating feels like a dukkha.

In normal times, we hardly notice clearly that we're constantly operating like a machine for 24/7 since day 1.

In meditation, we become aware of these 2 activites. It gets to a point where even these 2 activites feel like a hassle, a constant burden which doesn't stop, even if we wanted to. You'd wish that you don't have to be constantly breathing. It feels tiresome. It's a wonder why they don't seem tiresome in normal circumstances.

You'd wish you could get some rest.

Zen, ZaZen, Zennist, Zenith

2010-04-15T15:21:00.005+08:00

I'm exploring the virtual space for blogs. It's another avenue through which I get inspiration. It feels as though I'm connecting with fellow "kinsman". Trevor's Zen blog is one I've found recently.

The simplist things in life are the most beautiful.

Everyone regardless of identity, race, location, personality, can enjoy them to the fullest in the simplist way.

The trickling sound of clear water from a fountain. Looking out through the veil of the falling rain. Hearing the sound of the rainfall. The refreshing sight of greens.

Death Meditation

2010-04-15T00:04:00.003+08:00

For some reason, I'm on a HIGH. Maybe it's the caffeine I took. What do I care about the calories, the unhealthiness of caffeine. For all I know, it is the best remedy for me, it buoys me up physically & mentally. Not spiritually though.

I'm bursting with energy, overflowing with positivity. No, it's not quite a mindful happiness. So high that I wanted to see and hear Eric Cartman sing Poker Face on Guitar Hero at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjR78I1hCBI. This character simply leaves me smiling with mirth. Pls pardon the trashy me.

Amid all these, I'm secretly getting excited about next week. I'll be left all alone next week. What a rare opportunity!

I've got an idea boiling in my head. I feel like challenging myself. I feel like I should spend 1 whole day (let's say this in the ancient Indian way: for 1 day & 1 night) doing silent mindfulness at home alone. Yes, this will be a BIG challenge for me. I dare not place any bets beyond 1 day & 1 night, as I'm sure I'll break that resolution for certainty if I go beyond that. As usual, I take up only those challenges which are quite a BARGAIN. I play cheat, just so that I can win.

I'm contemplating whether I'll be up for another type of BIG challenge. It's big, but it's not one I've not done before. And I'm getting increasingly interested to find out if I could play it out again. I'm kind of dying to find out what will happen to me if I meditated pretending that I have forever, pretending that I have nothing else to do for the rest of my life.

I've sat for 4 1/2 - 5 hrs straight during a single meditation session before, and it turned out to be rather interesting. I want to venture beyond the concept of a time limit. I want to know what will happen to me if I didn't care and know about time. Will I DIE out of restlessness? Will I DIE out of anxiousness to end the meditation? Will I DIE out of pain, itchiness, stiffness, cold, heat? Will I DIE in my battle with the mind? I feel like this time, I want to push it to the limits again - just to see what happens. I've got a feeling that fear will be the nemesis again. I'll go moment-by-moment till I find that I cannot bring myself to go anymore.

Well, if I don't continue to blog in the week after next, chances are that I became the first person in the world to die during meditation.

I want to pretend again, that I have NOTHING LEFT TO DO in this world except to sit there, breath, and be mindful of the breath & the knowing mind.

Anatta, Non-Personality

2010-04-14T11:45:00.007+08:00

I didn't know that I enjoy writing, writing about the things that fascinates me.

Since I've got the momentum going on the ponderings of Anatta, I'll continue to ride on it before it becomes a drudgery.

So I did a reality check with the teacher's blog post Anatta and Rebirth and it was very relevent for me.

"When some people learn that Buddhism teaches rebirth and also that there is no self (anatta), they find it difficult to understand how rebirth can take place: `If there is no self or soul,' they ask, `what passes from one life to the next?' This problem is more apparent than real. Firstly, the Buddha did not teach that there is no self as such - he taught that there is no permanent, unchanging, metaphysical self."

I don't wish to debate and entangle my mind on what is the entity or non-entity that's traversing birth after birth. Nevertheless, I'm convinced now of the properties of the entity or non-entity: impermanent & changing. I'm not sure of the meaning of "metaphysical self" in this context to make a convinction out of it.

Incidentally, I've discovered a blog profile description by a young Zen Priest at http://thebigoldoaktree.blogspot.com/ which summed-up everything nicely:

"Every day, I see more and more that I don't know who or what I am. Some day I will be dead."

This 2 simple sentences stoke a cord with me instantly.

I'm realize that I don't actually know what I was in the past...even 5 years ago. Yes, I know I was an average undergrad who hated studying, who was addicted to playing MMORPG games, who skipped lectures, etc etc. But my personality has evolved from that. My yesterday's personality is not today's personality. What were my dreams yesterday are not my dreams today. What were my likes & dislikes yesterday are not totally the same as those today. My personality today will change. So my personality cannot be ever lasting. The personality that I thought defined me....I'm not bounded, fixed by this personality. This actually feels very liberating.

Liberating in the sense that it has greatly reduced my self-struggle. I'm my biggest enemy -because I'm a lazy cow, I'm restless, I get bored easily, I'm interested in too many things. But if these personality are not permanent, are of no-substance, then I'm not held down by them. I don't have to constantly engage in a self-struggle.

Pure Liberation! To some extent, but more than before!

Nama, Rupa; Atta, Anatta (II)

2010-04-13T09:40:00.041+08:00

In my relentless conquest in the Buddhist arena for stability, mindfulness & insight, I think I've stumbled upon a formula, a breakthrough that I can work on.

In the post Nama, Rupa; Atta, Anatta (I), I mentioned a patient suffering from Alzheimer. One eighth of the time, I've been pondering on this. I'm usually a very busy bee who's multi-prioritizing, I'm washing clothes (I'm forever stuck doing this cyclic, mundane chore), I'm reading a PERFECT non-Buddhist-related novel for me right now, working, etc etc. Incidentally, the author of this novel The Lost Books of the Odyssey, is also a Computer Scientist specializing in AI (I want to call myself a Computer Scientist as the Comp Engin I took was the same branch as that, although I'm hardly doing anything that's science-sy now). I'm curious how after studying robotics and AI - which is a very narrow, specialized & demanding specialty, he ended up being a fictional author, a distinguished one even. Truely a puzzle.

Back on the topic:

If by some accident, illness, or the mere effects of natural causes, we can lose our memory - losing our knowledge of the past; of our personal preferences, then our preferences, our likes, dislikes are insubstantial in essence. I feel that this is one hypothesis which is unconsciously known to be true by medical & scientific professionals, even by us laypeople. We see fMRI scans, showing the changes in various or specific brain sections, which explains why a patient is not responding, is not able to walk any longer, is no longer intellectually capable of holding a conversation, is no longer able to remember who someone is, in some cases he/she may not even remember who they are.

That clearly provides evidences for Anatta. Ok, I know that in the post Striving for abandonment, I argued that I neither subscribed to a 'non-soul' nor 'soul'. But this incident has pivoted my view towards a non-eternal, non-essential self -- Anatta.

That patient, he loved spicy, ethnic food. Now, I'm sure he doesn't remember that about himself, and neither does he love it already. His past is lost, his preference feeling is lost.

That signifies to me that my own preferences which I thought defines, in a way, who I am, how I am, and what motivates me, is nothing but an illusion. Let me explain myself through an example: I'm walking, and then I feel bored, I desire and want to listen to music, I think that THIS IS WHAT I WANT, and I relented and listened unmindfully to music.

Before now, I've always thought that when I wanted this, when I desired for this, when I have this or that emotion, when I have this or that thought, IT IS ME.

Now, I'm beginning to suspect that THEY ARE NOT ME. That they are actually phantoms; phantoms which have formed, appearing like a solidified, personal facade, from the past habitual inclinations. Phantoms which are bound to change, phantoms which are bound to disappear, phantoms which are NOT ME.

Since I'm beginning to acknowledge them as phantoms, I have the power. I have the power to refuse these phantoms the overpowering influence they've been having on my actions, on my choices. I'm quite confident about the fact of using this method of acknowledging them as phantoms has worked on me, on about 5 incidents so far. When I was lazy to get up in the morning, when I wanted a wink more, I felt lazy. I recalled to try out this method. My knowing mind said in assertion "The laziness is not me. The want to sleep longer is not me." and then I got up. I felt bored, my knowing mind said in assertion "This feeling of boredom is not me. This feeling of boredom is only the cumulative result of my past inclinations. I can don't listen to what they are telling me. I can take a different route. I can take a route that I know is good for me." and then I was able to let go of the feeling of boredom very easily.

Be weary here not to get into the wrong grasp of Anatta, that it means that since there is 'no-self', we are not 'responsible' for our actions, our choices. To me, right now, actions & choices are like commodities which have intrinsic value in themselves, which will bear their values later in time. These commodities require an investor to invest in them. BUT there is NO FIXED PERSONALITY as a particular investor actually placing investments in these commodities. These commodity investments have value even though there is no such investor.

I now see clearer, with observation and analytical reasoning, that Anatta refers to those phantoms which speak in my head as "I want to do this/that", "I feel *emotion*" where emotion can be sad, bored, restless, etc.

Disclaimer: This is only a result of an instance of analytical reasoning based on previously gathered knowledge & observations. It is subject to change over time. I shall use it, but not hold onto it. I've previously read somewhere that both holding on to 'soul' or 'non-soul' is a wrong view. Gosh, sometimes information overload can get really confusing and messed up! But personally, I do believe that holding on to anything too much will hinder my progress to know the real knowledge - whatever it may be.

Some Regrets

2010-04-12T22:18:00.012+08:00

At the bus stop in a rather busy industrial district, I noticed a man in his late 50s - 60s almost lying down on the bus stop chair-bench. He had only one full leg, the other one was amputated and his prosthetic leg was beside him. He was busy stuffing tissue paper into the shoe that his good leg was wearing. There was a couple of flies which seem to be attracted to that leg.

It wasn't a pretty sight. It was out-of-place. I didn't know what he was up to - was he begging, was he resting or was he waiting for someone, or was he waiting for office people to disappear till he camp for the night there. Bus stop was crowded. No body seems to be looking at him. I thought about whether I should approach him. I thought that the Singapore Govt would surely have charities and other help to take care of people like him - afterall a prosthetic leg is an expensive thing. I wasn't keen to help him out physically, but financially I didn't mind. I saw the bus approaching, I rushed for it, I looked at him again, thought about it, and went up.

Still I continued to think about it. I thought that he might have needed some help. I thought that if I could have at least shown that I'm concerned, he wouldn't feel so sad, despondent & helpless. Tears welled up in my eyes when I thought of what he could have been feeling, of what I could have done but did not do.

I have a thing for old, helpless, poor looking people. A picture from a few years ago, of an old skinny man riding on a WW II era bicycle appeared in my mind. This old man was really a picture I cannot erase from my mind ever since. He was riding on that kind of bicycle (no kidding!), with a large straw basket tied to the pavilion seat, and he was SMILING! I cannot fathom an old man about about 70+, that skinny - literally skin on bones, and riding that huge mean old bicycle, and still SMILING. When I saw him coming in the opposite direction on the road, I couldn't believe my eyes. Am I in affluent Singapore in the 21st century? Oh, and he was half naked with some old shorts on. I didn't know where he came from, I half-suspected that he did a time travel here. I took a loooonnng look at him coming, and I took a looong look at him passing me with a slow, striding work on the pedals with the loose rattling sound from the bicycle gears and chains. I let him pass by me. I looked back at him, a loooonng look until he turned a bend and disappeared out of sight. It was a strange, wrenching sight. I wondered how he could be so smiley, so evidently enjoying his morning ride. I half-thought that the Singapore Govt would surely have charities and other help to take care of people like him.

Second time on another occasion, I saw this same grandpa on his remarkable bicycle. I bet he is one dinosaur left in affluent 21st century Singapore. I wanted to chase him, stop him, and ask if he needed some money. I had only 50$ at that time and I was quite prepared to give it to him. But I didn't chase after his old bicycle. I remembered all these again and tears welled up with the remembrance of him - could he still be alive? could he still be riding that WW (II) bicycle with big straw basket and same shorts going somewhere? - and the thought that I could have done something that could have significant impact to his day at that time. But which I did not do.

Alighted from the bus. I saw a not so old man in a wheelchair selling some small stuffs. A chance for redemption came to my mind. Something I could do easily to make him feel happy, cared about at least for that moment, and this time, I will do it. So I redeemed myself, unfortunately not with the same people.

Blind Buddhist Fanatic

2010-04-12T14:13:00.006+08:00

As I'm not a scholar in Buddhist literature and history, I usually get my information from various places here and there. Before I knew of the teacher Ven Shravasti Dhammika from http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/, I was a blind Buddhist fanatic. Why I was a blind fanatic is because I wanted to believe in almost everything. I was afraid that if I did not believe in what the source tell me, I will lose out.

- So I believed a source which told me that if I did not read Abhidhamma in this life, I would not be making the best of my opportunity. I hate to make a waste of good opportunities which seem like a bargain to me.

- I believed that an effigy of the Buddha would miraclously be formed at the end of the Buddha sasana when all the remaining relics of the Buddha gathered in Sri Lanka. And that the effigy would 'come alive' to perform the Twin Miracle (I spent ALOT of time searching for the meaning of that) and teach the teachings of the Buddha to the Devas who will be present, before bursting into flames.

- I believed that the Buddha's and his accomplished disciples (including those from much later times) had pearl-like bodily deposits when they were cremated, what we call the holy relics - due to their extraordinarily pure morality.

- I believed that the Buddha did go to heaven for 3 months to teach the 'higher' Dharma to the Devas, because this Abhidhamma needs to be expounded in full at the first time, because humans cannot sit still for 3 months in a time, and because he wanted to re-pay his reincarnated mother.

- I believed that that Mount Meru is where the 4 'world islands' touch each other, and that it connects the physical world to the spiritual realm. That Devas & Asuras reside on the slopes of Mount Meru. I spent alot of my time & energy 'researching' and reading on this Mount Meru too.

The above are just some of the things on Buddhism I believed in as a blind fanatic. On retrospect, I feel rather embarrassed for being childlike and guillible despite my other logical outlooks. From this teacher, I learnt that Buddhist literature have their own timelines.

All I knew was that the Tipitaka had 3 baskets, the Vinaya, the Sutta & the Abhidhamma Pitaka, so I assumed that the Abhidhamma is also taught by the Buddha himself. Although I've read that during the First Council the Vinaya and Suttas were recited, I did not notice the absence of the mention of Abhidhamma. Neither was I capable of telling an estimate timeline for the appearance of the Abhidhamma, that it was a later addition to the Tipitaka.

Although that doesn't mean that I think everything written in there is irrelevent and falsely made-up, I'm very happy to be able to leave it behind. This is a very detailed, microscopic breakdown of all physcial, mental phenomena, types of consciousnous and what not. *Phew!* I can't even tell when I'm greedy, drowsy, angry - fat hope of me trying to distinguish all 52 Cittas (states of consciousnous in Ahbhidhamma).

Nama, Rupa; Atta, Anatta (I)

2010-04-12T00:58:00.005+08:00

If I'm not wrong:

Nama: All physical phenomena
Rupa: All mental phenomena
Atta: Concept of soul, self
Anatta: Concept of non-soul, non-self

I'm not sure if Anatta is in any way overlapped by Rupa. My purpose is not to root for Atta or Anatta, but to describe what I'm observing, which I feel shows a hint of evidence for Anatta.

So this is how my story goes:

Everybody knows that as we get older, we become mentally dull, slow. Medically, it is described in many ways: cortical thinning, cerebral cortex shrinking and what not.

I personally know of someone who's suffering from something like (doctors are not able to diagnose yet) rapidly advanced dementia or Alzheimer. Fortunately but sad to say, I'm in a position to be able to feel objective about this. This patient, being a recreational astrologer himself, had seen a few months ago that he would die soon, made a big fuss about it, and now a few months later, he's lost almost all cognitive functionality.

This situation presents something very interesting to me. Before this happened, the patient is known as Mr A. But now that he's lost his a large part of his memory, his past, unaware of his present, unable to function like before, I doubt that the current him is the same as what we used to know as Mr A. We cling onto what we know as Mr A, and wish that the current person would revert to Mr A again.

More than anything else, I'm frightened. Even in this life, what I think is me NOW, can cease to be that me no longer.

What I think is me who is thinking; who is feeling; who knows the past, who sees the present, may not be like what it is now in the future.

Tibet Autonomous Region of Cina

2010-04-10T11:53:00.019+08:00

I know very little of Tibet and Tibetan Buddhism. In fact, I know nothing about Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhism to comment anything about that sect of Buddhism. The only icon of Tibetan Buddhism I recognize is the current Dalai Lama. From what little I've seen and heard from the Dalai Lama, I've found him to be a colorful concoction of personable, lighthearted, iconic Buddhist figure. I can't think of a more world famous monk at our present time than the Dalai Lama (I'm not sure if monk is the right word here, probably 'demigod-ruler-monk' would be more fitting). I watched the Little Buddha as a kid, and I don't remember anything else of it except that the Tibetan Buddhists were looking for a particular young, western protégé whom they believed is the reincarnation of their leader to continue the Lama lineage. Keanu Reeves starred in that movie?! As The Buddha?!! I've gotto watch it again then!

In spite of everything else that I don't agree with - particularly the reincarnation part, I'm grateful to the current Dalai Lama for he has effectively promoted Buddhism to today's modern world by his reputation of being a simple, unassuming, down-to-earth, demigod religious leader who once ruled Tibet. I mean, the Dalai Lama is so much more personable, open about himself, smiling and funny compared to Pope Benedict - who appears so authoritative, distant and closed about himself. Did the Pope ever accepted an impromptu interview with the media? The Dalai Lama did - with the BBC, with Harvard University students, even with Larry King!

Here's to the Potala Palace, which once - half a century ago - was the abode of the religious demigods. Now, it is all but reduced to an intrinsically hollow, souless museum. I hate the Communist Chinese! (Tsk tsk, unwholesome speech, unwholesome thought) Why can't they leave things as they are without their big fat imperializing, ethnocentric ego. It is too cruel of them to evict and fabricate a picture of a sinister political exile out of the Dalai Lama. This bottle of Tibetan water given by a Chinese hotel free-of-charge provides the hint. Imperialism and greed - the desire to rule Lhasa into a capitalist and tourist paradize. I feel that this bottle, more than anything, symbolizes their success in trampling Tibet, home of the Dalai Lama. Being the secretly stubborn, idealistic me who doesn't make any sense, I REFUSE TO RELENT to their OUTRAGEOUS BLASPHEMY of Tibetan culture, symbol, environment & way of life - I've kept the bottle unopened, the Tibetan water (assuming that China is not making imitation Tibetan water) untasted, untouched.

Fact or Fiction: The Potala Palace was the tallest building in the world, before the advent of skyscrapers.

Let's talk about Romance

2010-04-09T00:19:00.006+08:00

When it comes to this, personally it is something I cannot solve, somewhere I've found myself a deadlock in, there is no point in me talking to myself about it. But still, I'd like to voice my take on it lest it benefits others and motivates them to move on. Moving on positively is very important for our mental well-being.

What got me thinking was that my boss asked recently what he should talk about on his first date with someone. And I'm supposed to meet up with my single, unattached close buddies this week, and I remember them telling me their expectations for their potential partner. I've grown distant to all these, almost as if I've become an alien looking at an earthling. The reason is that I've found out and learnt that in the end, love - the romantic kind, boils down to caring for the person. It is the same as every other relationship, no-matter how overated romantic love is, it is the act of caring for the other person through good or bad times despite how you feel for him/her, and how you show it.

Devotion taught me everything I know - about thinking for another person. It taught me not to think only for myself. I used to be very spoilt and selfish, always with a self-fulfilling view. In the end, it will boil down to this simple lesson to be learnt. Life itself will boil down to each and every virtue.

But of course! Do not be disheartened. I don't think we should fret about finding THE PERFECT, IDEAL ONE. I truly believe that every one of us is compatible with at least a million others in this world, compatible enough to spend the reminder of our lives with.

Happy & Grateful Day

2010-04-08T01:15:00.018+08:00

Yesterday was a truly happy day. Sometimes (though rarely in the 24hrs), I slow down. In those slow, moment-in-moment & moment-to-moment times, with nothing but the environment; the physical body of mine; and quiet mind, I find a contented emptiness - that which I call happiness.

These days, even when the mind is not quiet or I'm yearning, I listened to them patiently, and sometimes, just sometimes when I kindly and patiently listened to them without relenting in agreement, the same contented emptiness is found.

I found myself enjoying my quiet walk back home from work. I like walking, seeing the environment while I'm strolling.

I've noticed that there are alot of people out there who are running - whether on the street, gym, mountain or marathons. I imagine that it feels great to run for the love of running, to feel the air touch your face, to have a rythmically paced movement which charges your energy and mind. It's been ages since I last ran, ages since I swam, ages since I climbed, ages since I picked up my racket inspired by the William sisters till I found out I sucked at it. Part of me wish I would pick up sports again.

I found myself enjoying the very brief moment before the start of my meditation. That self-calming moment, that self-decidedly quiet moment, that moment when I decided to do something that I know is good for me.

It feels fresh, it feels crisp. Quite as if breathing in a crisp, cold air in the morning sun.

The pleasure of reading the below captions from the Cūḷadukkhakkhandha Sutta - The Shorter Discourse on the Mass of Suffering which related to my experience concluded my happy day.

At this point of time, I'm so eternally greatful to all those who remembered the Suttas to heart; to those who painfully compiled, organised and wrote them down; to those who studied Pali to produce high quality translations to make known these Suttas in the English language. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!

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"Then Mahānāma the Sakyan went to the Blessed One, and after paying homage to him, he sat down at one side and said: "Venerable sir, I have long understood the Dhamma taught by the Blessed One thus: 'Greed is an imperfection that defiles the mind, hate is an imperfection that defiles the mind, delusion is an imperfection that defiles the mind.' Yet while I understand the Dhamma taught by the Blessed One thus, at times states of greed, hate, and delusion invade my mind and remain. I have wondered, venerable sir, what state is still unabandoned by me internally, owing to which at times these states of greed, hate, and delusion invade my mind and remain."

"Mahānāma, there is still a state unabandoned by you internally, owing to which at times states of greed, hate, and delusion invade your mind and remain; for were that state already abandoned by you internally you would not be living the home life, you would not be enjoying sensual pleasures. It is because that state is unabandoned by you internally that you are living the home life and enjoying sensual pleasures."

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"'Friend Gotama, pleasure is not to be gained through pleasure; pleasure is to be gained through pain. For were pleasure to be gained through pleasure, then King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha would gain pleasure, since he abides in greater pleasure than the venerable Gotama.' "Surely the venerable Nigaṇṭhas have uttered those words rashly and and without reflection. Rather it is I who ought to be asked: "Who abides in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or the venerable Gotama?'"

"'Surely, friend Gotama, we uttered those words rashly and without reflection. But let that be. Now we ask the venerable Gotama: Who abides in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or the venerable Gotama?'

"'Then, friends, I shall ask you a question in return. Answer it as you like. What do you think, friends? Can King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha abide without moving his body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for seven days and nights?'—'No, friend.'—'Can King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha abide without moving his body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for six, five, four, three, or two days and nights?.. .for one day and night?'—'No, friend.'

'"But, friends, I can abide without moving my body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for one day and night...for two, three, four, five, and six days and nights...for seven days and nights. What do you think, friends? That being so, who dwells in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or I?'

"'That being so, the venerable Gotama abides in greater pleasure than King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha.'"
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Are Buddhisty laypeople 'holier' than non-Buddhisty laypeople

2010-04-05T22:36:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to feel that although I consume myself with Buddhist reads and TRY to meditate daily, I'm not anything better in person, character & mind from my few family members who also consider themself Buddhists but who don't read, meditate and in some case don't follow precepts as much as I do.

I don't think I'm more mindful, alert, caring, less greedy, patient, hardworking as them.

On the first point, unless I've decided on focus the attention on something like the breath movement, or the contact of my hand for a period of time, I stay on the path of mindfulness. Outside of these 2 boundaries, mindfulness is a come and go, unsustained affair.

What set me thinking is that my SO chidded that I'm a hypocrite - for trying to sound wise (I said something Buddhisty to him at that time which I've forgotten now) when I'm wearing a fancy watch & fancy ring among another things. I should have known better not to say anything that's Buddhisty.

But sometimes, I can't resist the urge to correct or help (at least that was my intention) by saying something Buddhisty. Sometimes, I think I'm just wasting my breath, even though I wish they could take some interest in learning the essential teachings of the Buddha.

But then again, my qualities are not better and in some cases worse than them. I think I need to go back to meditation guide book by Ajhan Brahm.