Right Effort of the 8thFold Path is arguably the least debated factor of all. Right View, Right Understanding - they are all very inviting for intellectual debates. But EFFORT! Who would want to talk about Effort. Who would want to give Effort any attention.
Interestingly I've found that Everything intentional happens because of Effort. Duh! It's Duh, but still a very BIG DUH. Something happens because of Effort. Nothing happens because of Effort.
Effort can be of all sorts: theoretically expounded 'Right' Effort, 'Skillful' Effort, Courageous Effort, Joyous Effort, Drudgery Effort, & any other adjective you could possibly associate with Effort.
I'll look at the adjective 'Right' first. There are so many expounded versions of 'Right' Effort. Most of them categorically define 'Right' Effort as Effort which is:
1. prevent the arising of unarisen unwholesome states;
2. abandon unwholesome states that have already arisen;
3. arouse wholesome states that have not yet arisen;
4. maintain and perfect wholesome states already arisen.
*source http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/noble8path6.pdf
And then what are unwholesome/wholesome states?
The unwholesome states (akusala dhamma) are the defilements, and the thoughts, emotions, and intentions derived from them, whether breaking forth into action or remaining confined within. The wholesome states (kusala dhamma) are states of mind untainted by defilements, especially those conducing to deliverance.
*same source as above
I'm just assuming here that thoughts, emotions, intentions all begin with mental states. So I'll take unwholesome/wholesome states here as unwholesome/wholesome mental states. Which brings me to the 14 unwholesome mental factors and the 25 wholesome mental factors.
14 Unwholesome Mental Factors, in no particular order:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*sources:
- The Manuals of Buddhism by Ledi Sayadaw
-A Comprehensive Manual of Abhidhamma, The Philosophical Psychology of Buddhism by Bhikkhu BOdhi as General Editor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Greed; lobha (greed)
2) Hatred; dosa (hate)
3) Envy; issa (envy)
4) Sloth; thina (sloth)
5) Conceit; mana (conceit)
6) Worry; kukkucca (worry)
7) Torpor; middha (torpor)
8) Shamelessness; ahirika (shamelessness)
The rest of the 5 unwholesome states don't match exactly. I tried to match them as best as I could.
9) vicikiccha (perplexity)
10) moha (dullness)
11) macchariya (selfishness)
12) anottappa (recklessness)
13) ditthi (error)
14) uddhacca (distraction)
9) Doubt
10) Delusion
11) Avarice
12) Fearlessness of wrong
13) Wrong view
14) Restlessness
After all that's been read, cognitively understood as best as I could, written down on 'Right' Effort, it can never match up to Joyous Effort.
That Joyful Effort which I cannot yet identify.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
My experience with Theravada Fanatism
Currently reading Broken Buddha Critical Reflections on Theravada and a Plea for a New Buddhism by teacher S. Dhammika.
And I could totally relate to it. It's such a relief that such contradictions, fanaticism, biases have been voiced out.
It's strange, but these features of Traditional Theravada had directly caused an unknown layperson like me great confusion and bewilderment. These are just personal thoughts which are independent of the source mentioned above.
I never understood why some Traditional Theravada monks that I went to at temples continuously recite long Pali verses to us the laypeople at a big ceremony. I wondered if I was the only person who was unfamiliar with those Pali verses. Or what they meant. They can go on for a period of time straight reciting that, pausing only to quickly clear the throat. I'm not supposed to criticize even objectively or doubt them so didn't give much thought to it. But it certainly issn't an effective way of teaching the Dharma. I always have to keep in perspective their possible motivations for joining the monk-hood, which in some cases can be figured out easily. Poverty & some other circumstances like orphan-hood. It may not be a genuine pursuit of interest.
Speaking of which, I was once approached by a friend of a mult-millionaire to suggest "suitable" temples\monasteries where that millionaire can become a monk. Motivation for that millionaire? He was in suicidal state over his ex-wife, girlfriend/s, money. He wanted somewhere convenient to escape to. I'm not being cynical but these extremely suicidal people should go to a psychiatrist instead of a religious place. If a psychiatrist is too formidable, then they should go to a doctor. Take painkillers, take anti-depressants. Fortunately, he didn't become a monk. I seriously think that with his head so messed up like that, he won't be able to see anything right. Medicines would work better. As it turned out, he did attempt to commit suicide but failed just as the police arrived. Fortunately, I don't personally know him.
When I was trying out the practice of Uposatha, there are 2 BIG moles which was sticking out. The milk and the type of bed. They were very queer indeed. Is milk supposed to give you as much energy as rice? Am I craving for milk? Need I consult a nutritionist expert to give an official verdict if it is food, drink or ingredient powder? And of course I don't sleep on a simple, low & small bed. And the Cinderella 12pm time boundary. Rigid, peculiar, hassle. Causing circumstances for more suffering for myself.
And boys are supposed to be "ordained" as a novice monk for a few days as part of the Tradition. Any parents go through alot of big troubles to ensure that this is done. And they play cheat!!! The younger the better, 4, 5 years old, so that the boy would be less aware and thus feel less pain & suffering in the experience. I saw my very young relative who is so accustomed to the American way of life put through such an experience - crying, alone among bald strangers he don't know, alien environment, alien language. I don't get it.
And I could totally relate to it. It's such a relief that such contradictions, fanaticism, biases have been voiced out.
It's strange, but these features of Traditional Theravada had directly caused an unknown layperson like me great confusion and bewilderment. These are just personal thoughts which are independent of the source mentioned above.
I never understood why some Traditional Theravada monks that I went to at temples continuously recite long Pali verses to us the laypeople at a big ceremony. I wondered if I was the only person who was unfamiliar with those Pali verses. Or what they meant. They can go on for a period of time straight reciting that, pausing only to quickly clear the throat. I'm not supposed to criticize even objectively or doubt them so didn't give much thought to it. But it certainly issn't an effective way of teaching the Dharma. I always have to keep in perspective their possible motivations for joining the monk-hood, which in some cases can be figured out easily. Poverty & some other circumstances like orphan-hood. It may not be a genuine pursuit of interest.
Speaking of which, I was once approached by a friend of a mult-millionaire to suggest "suitable" temples\monasteries where that millionaire can become a monk. Motivation for that millionaire? He was in suicidal state over his ex-wife, girlfriend/s, money. He wanted somewhere convenient to escape to. I'm not being cynical but these extremely suicidal people should go to a psychiatrist instead of a religious place. If a psychiatrist is too formidable, then they should go to a doctor. Take painkillers, take anti-depressants. Fortunately, he didn't become a monk. I seriously think that with his head so messed up like that, he won't be able to see anything right. Medicines would work better. As it turned out, he did attempt to commit suicide but failed just as the police arrived. Fortunately, I don't personally know him.
When I was trying out the practice of Uposatha, there are 2 BIG moles which was sticking out. The milk and the type of bed. They were very queer indeed. Is milk supposed to give you as much energy as rice? Am I craving for milk? Need I consult a nutritionist expert to give an official verdict if it is food, drink or ingredient powder? And of course I don't sleep on a simple, low & small bed. And the Cinderella 12pm time boundary. Rigid, peculiar, hassle. Causing circumstances for more suffering for myself.
And boys are supposed to be "ordained" as a novice monk for a few days as part of the Tradition. Any parents go through alot of big troubles to ensure that this is done. And they play cheat!!! The younger the better, 4, 5 years old, so that the boy would be less aware and thus feel less pain & suffering in the experience. I saw my very young relative who is so accustomed to the American way of life put through such an experience - crying, alone among bald strangers he don't know, alien environment, alien language. I don't get it.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Buddha's Personal Admonishment
What would the Buddha say to me if I could go to him face-to-face?
Me: Greetings & Good Evening, the revered one!
Buddha: (Open his eyes & moved his head slowly. Gazed at me with soft kindness, dispassion & open-heartedly) Nods once slightly.
Me: (Understands that the Buddha is very much sought after by humans & devas, and wants to leave him in peace. Must quickly get down to business. Must ask him the most general question, so that he could access me overall and give the most suitable advice.) The revered one, please with your compassion & wisdom, could you direct me some personal advice on the Path?
Buddha: (Gaze at me with understanding. Close his eyes, pause for 3 sec) Listen carefully now.
Me: Takes out paper & pen. Anticipates in eagerness.
Buddha:
You yourself must strive;
The Buddhas only point the way.
Those meditative ones who thread the path
are released from the bonds of Mara.
(Pauses again for 3 secs)
The idler who does not exert himself
when he should,
who though young and strong
is full of sloth,
with a mind full of vain thoughts --
such an indolent man
does not find the path to wisdom.
(Stops & remains silent, eyes remaining closed)
Me: (So I guess that's all, that short, that simple. Ok, fine. Very happy, very contented) Such rareness is the ability to come before the Buddha, the revered one himself to be personally directed! Grateful, is me!
(Quietly departs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 2 stanzas are from the Dhammapada.
Me: Greetings & Good Evening, the revered one!
Buddha: (Open his eyes & moved his head slowly. Gazed at me with soft kindness, dispassion & open-heartedly) Nods once slightly.
Me: (Understands that the Buddha is very much sought after by humans & devas, and wants to leave him in peace. Must quickly get down to business. Must ask him the most general question, so that he could access me overall and give the most suitable advice.) The revered one, please with your compassion & wisdom, could you direct me some personal advice on the Path?
Buddha: (Gaze at me with understanding. Close his eyes, pause for 3 sec) Listen carefully now.
Me: Takes out paper & pen. Anticipates in eagerness.
Buddha:
You yourself must strive;
The Buddhas only point the way.
Those meditative ones who thread the path
are released from the bonds of Mara.
(Pauses again for 3 secs)
The idler who does not exert himself
when he should,
who though young and strong
is full of sloth,
with a mind full of vain thoughts --
such an indolent man
does not find the path to wisdom.
(Stops & remains silent, eyes remaining closed)
Me: (So I guess that's all, that short, that simple. Ok, fine. Very happy, very contented) Such rareness is the ability to come before the Buddha, the revered one himself to be personally directed! Grateful, is me!
(Quietly departs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 2 stanzas are from the Dhammapada.
Paradox & Meditation
Contradictions, paradoxes.This picture though not the one I was initially intrigued with, is in a way a representation of myself.
Symbolism of the future set in the past. The reason why I like pictures of children shown in B&W. I like it for the message, the contradiction which jerks out from these photos.
My present contradiction: Trying to pretend that I have nothing left to do during meditation, when outside of it I'm getting subconsciously anxious and preparing for an interview.
Tough juggle!
How do I pretend that I'm so 100% interested in that position in that industry. How do I pretend that I actually know what I want to be in 5 years time. Heck, I don't even know what I want to be in 3 years time. Neither do I want to think about it. Truth is, ideally in 3-5 yrs time, I want to be a librarian who gets to read books on the job, or a movie reviewer or to work for UN & get transferred to a faraway country or something else other than whatever is realistically available to me right now. I have alot of pretending to do, hopefully I will be terrific at it. I just hope they don't ask me the 3-5yrs time question, job commitment questions (Actually Sir, I want work-life-balance. Could you please ensure that?), or if I'm want to do VB, SQL or whatever idiotic coding which I suspect will be required. But I want a change right now, so I'll go ahead and pretend, hopefully to get through it.
On the other side, I had a useful meditation session. I wanted to prepare for Death Meditation, so I tried 2 hours. Consciously used the method which I mentioned in Square 1 Meditation.
Quit 30mins before timeout as my effort was not enough to subdue the pain from the pressed little toe. Reason why my effort was not enough was because I didn't want to sustain the effort anymore. I didn't manage to subdue the restless, paining mind with the worse-case-scenario of losing the toe. I was getting into 2-minds, or rather multiple-minds, losing focus, giving up on the effort.
On the brighter side, I learnt these things from this session which is longest so far in a long long time:
- State of mind evolves. Actually it evolves every 30mins for me. From drowsy to non-drowsy to a stablized bodily posture to a lighter mind to more acute awareness & then in comes the crushing, damning pain.
- Things are screaming for my attention regularly. Sounds, thoughts, itchiness in the ear, acute pain in the legs, in the toes.
- My sustained effort was able to subdue the itchiness which felt like an ant crawling into my ear & it was able to subdue an incredible pain in the leg before the compressed toe pain arrived. The mind moved past those "milestones".
- Joyful effort is a great way for moving forward and sustaining the effort needed.
- I tried to be aware of the "all knowing mind" but it was too omnipresent that I get pulled to those which were screaming for my attention from all directions easier. So I drop the "all knowing mind" and used the abdominal meditation in the last stretch to get more focused. I did felt more focus & oneness as a result of the change.
Basically, I like to have longer meditation sessions is because I know that joyful, effortless effort & a light, clear mind work together like magic. I want to leverage (I have to start familiarizing with these interview-proof works) on that effort & mind to create whatever is there to be created.
I will write on the Joyful effort in a future post. I'm finding it more and more important as days go by. Also, it is an inspiration from a fellow blogger/friend Shirley who highlighted this recently.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A Day
Although I'm doing nothing dramatic with my life, I feel like I'm so happy, like I'm living it to the fullest (at least right now for a few days I feel like that).
I don't whine about things. I pretend to whine only when very stubborn people whine to me. If I try to solve their whine-ness which they'll never get out of, they'll think I don't understand. So I whine back to show empathy. At least something positive comes out of it.
Life - don't take it seriously in the material sense. We'll all be happier. Don't take it seriously when we're ill, don't take it seriously when we can't get more than what we're getting, don't take it seriously when we can't get what we want.
Take it seriously in the immaterial sense. (or at least that's what I believe)
After a period of absence, I was able to head down to the Buddhist Center for group meditation.
Real reason for my absence is both my busy, unpredictable schedule as well as my unwillingness to upset anyone who might not always support the Buddhisty aspect taking up my time. As always, there was always something to take away from there. I'm very much indebted to the place, the teacher & the management & all the dear friends I got to know there.
Points that I could recall:
Regarding the 2nd point, personally it related to the Anatta topic. Why do we always wish, long for, favour & like a positive feedback to experiences & thoughts? In the way of the world, we would be saying that it's human nature. We can research and try to prove for eternity that human nature is wired to function like that, so we should live up to its function - nothing wrong with favoring positive things.
However, as people who want to break free from the very reasons which are making us human, we go one step further. We question this "nature".
1) Is this nature good for us?
2) What are the reasons for this nature
3) Is following this nature necessary?
I believe that we don't have to do anything further but answer those questions and we will realize the futility of following this nature of chasing after, favoring the positive experiences.
I don't whine about things. I pretend to whine only when very stubborn people whine to me. If I try to solve their whine-ness which they'll never get out of, they'll think I don't understand. So I whine back to show empathy. At least something positive comes out of it.
Life - don't take it seriously in the material sense. We'll all be happier. Don't take it seriously when we're ill, don't take it seriously when we can't get more than what we're getting, don't take it seriously when we can't get what we want.
Take it seriously in the immaterial sense. (or at least that's what I believe)
After a period of absence, I was able to head down to the Buddhist Center for group meditation.
Real reason for my absence is both my busy, unpredictable schedule as well as my unwillingness to upset anyone who might not always support the Buddhisty aspect taking up my time. As always, there was always something to take away from there. I'm very much indebted to the place, the teacher & the management & all the dear friends I got to know there.
Points that I could recall:
- Metaphor for thoughts coming & going in the mind is that of clouds floating past in the sky. (Speak of originality, creativity!)
- Question to ask ourselves: Why do we associate either positive or negative feedbacks to our experiences & thoughts?
Regarding the 2nd point, personally it related to the Anatta topic. Why do we always wish, long for, favour & like a positive feedback to experiences & thoughts? In the way of the world, we would be saying that it's human nature. We can research and try to prove for eternity that human nature is wired to function like that, so we should live up to its function - nothing wrong with favoring positive things.
However, as people who want to break free from the very reasons which are making us human, we go one step further. We question this "nature".
1) Is this nature good for us?
2) What are the reasons for this nature
3) Is following this nature necessary?
I believe that we don't have to do anything further but answer those questions and we will realize the futility of following this nature of chasing after, favoring the positive experiences.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
DON'T Paralyze your Evolution
I did not study pyschology, but it doesn't take a psychologist to know that the mind needs to evolve. Actually, it will evolve in time whether you want it to or not.
But if we put in our own effort, we can make it evolve to the way we want it to. It's just amazing that things are in our control!
I like evolving, change, progression. Bring it ON!
Even if I change to degenerate physically, I will still evolve my mind.
So I'll do a reality check to see how I've evolved so far:
But if we put in our own effort, we can make it evolve to the way we want it to. It's just amazing that things are in our control!
I like evolving, change, progression. Bring it ON!
Even if I change to degenerate physically, I will still evolve my mind.
So I'll do a reality check to see how I've evolved so far:
- Have not touched the gaming console since 3 week ago. Phew!!!! No burden. No desire to continue the adventure. No desire to finish it off. No time wasted sitting wastefully on the sofa for one whole day spent in a World that has no positive effect to my World. No headache from 6-12 hrs continuous gaming.
- Have not TV-ed for even one hour. TV dramas bore me to the core. The only time I use TV is to space out, drone myself out with its noisy sounds. So that I don't look too crazy just staring into space.
- Documentories & movies are a completely different matter. Have not watched them for 2 weeks (attempt at Green Zone doesn't count). Not dying to watch them. Intend to watch them when I have more time.
- Self-induced sadness & unhappiness have not touched me, have not moved me. Or they did not last long enough for me to recall it.
- Self-induced anger have not touched me in a long time.
- Even when team lead tried to lecture with a pseudo-serious tone me to put me down, discourage me. I did not let it affect me. Who cares! For all I know, he can be envious, he can be skeptical, he can go on and on about his narrow perspective, still fat hope of me buying it.
- Stable state of mind has stayed with me for longer periods of time.
- More instances of smiling at people whom I interacted with.
- More instances of seeing in appreciation, appreciating the effort of others, more instances of saying "Thank you."
- More instances of empathizing with others. That they too are subject to delusion, greed, hatred.
- More instances of contentment with the present moment.
- More instances of awareness of the present moment.
- Have not felt like Gollum over music, over News, over things I enjoy, though still enchanted.
- Have been doing Chores, have been doing things I need to be doing, have been doing things that I know are good for me.
- More positivity.
- Feel less like a Macdonald's (I realised to my horror that teacher Bhante saw me through right away the moment he mentioned Macdonald's) baby.
- More faith in the small steps I'm taking towards the distant destination of stream-entry.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Someone else's Life
When things get stagnant, find something new, something different to push you forward. Someone else's life, someone else's history, someone else's perspective, someone else's ideals, someone else's values, someone else's effort, courage, discipline.
Faith in humanity, faith in the Path.
I found this earlier in the day: Ajahn Sucitto's Alms and the human
It has so much worth for me. I hope it will be the same for you too.
Square 1 Non-Sitting Mindfulness
I don't have much time today to think through and formulate to decide on the strategy on the non-sitting mindfulness. Yet I feel it is necessary to specify it asap. So this my short explicit stating out of the strategy:
Goal - Same as Stage 1 of sitting meditation - To stay in the present, avoid going off into the past or future. Thoughts will be used when necessary.
Purging methods - Note & acknowledge: Think "I have passion in me" or
Rationaliaze & Deny: Think "This feeling is not me"
Sustaining method - Stay in equanimy state, aware of the present
Goal - Same as Stage 1 of sitting meditation - To stay in the present, avoid going off into the past or future. Thoughts will be used when necessary.
Purging methods - Note & acknowledge: Think "I have passion in me" or
Rationaliaze & Deny: Think "This feeling is not me"
Sustaining method - Stay in equanimy state, aware of the present
Square 1 Meditation
I feel it's time for me to specifically state out exactly what method & structure I'm going to stick to for meditation - at least for this week. Often, I don't know what exactly is my direction & what exactly am I doing. Am I doing what is called concentration meditation or am I juggling 6-senses simultaneous mindfulness or am I doing what is called Insight meditation or am I doing a breathing exercise.
I'm pretty messed up so I'm going back to square one. Only going to use a single, short, easy to read & digest source: The Basic Method of Meditaion by Ajahn Brahmavamso. I want to minimize confusion, information overload & ambiguity.
I have yet to think about the specific method I'm going to stick to for mindfulness outside of sitting, so this method will be just for sitting.
Disclaimer!
Stage 1:
Goal - To stay in the present, avoid going off into the past or future.
Key - Effort to be directed to letting go, abandon & renounce
Task - Keep the attention right in the present moment for long, unbroken periods of time
Method to do Task - Unmentioned explicitly. But can be inferred from Stage 2 that thoughts of noting of the present moment is the method for this stage. (If you do find that it is mentioned explicitly, please let me know)
Stage 2:
Task - Silent awareness of the present in every moment, avoiding inner speech.
Method - No inner speech, no inner chatter. Mindfully greet everything just as it arrives in the mind.
Stage 3:
Task - Silent present moment awareness of just ONE THING. Silent present moment awareness of the breath.
Method - *Thankfully, it is a free distribution by Buddhist Fellowship Singapore & available on the Web too so I will not run into any copyright issues for chunking the below down. Speaking of which, I had better renew my membership with them. I like this method below, so I'm copying wholesale without any alterations for others to read.*
'When you focus on the breath, you focus on the experience of the breath happening now. You experience "that which tells you what the breath is doing". whether it is going in or out or in between. Some teachers say to watch the breath at the tip of the nose, some say to watch it at the abdomen and some say to move it here and then move it there. I have found through experience that it does not matter where you watch the breath. In fact it is best not to locate the breath anywhere! If you locate the breath at the tip of your nose then it becomes nose awareness, not breath awareness, and if you locate it at your abdomen then it becomes abdomen awareness. Just ask yourself the question right now "Am I breathing in or am I breathing out?" How do you know? There! That experience which tells you what the breath is doing, that is what you focus on in breath meditation. Let go of concern about where this experience is located; just focus on the experience itself.
A common hindrance at this stage is the tendency to control the breathing, and this makes the breathing uncomfortable. To overcome this hindrance, imagine that you are just a passenger in a car looking through the window at your breath. You are not the driver, nor a "back seat driver", so stop giving orders, let go and enjoy the ride. Let the breath do the breathing while you simply watch without interfering. When you know the breath is going in, or the breath is going out, for say one hundred breaths in a row, not missing one, then you have achieved what I call the third stage of this meditation, sustained attention on the breath.'
Stage 4: I'll look at it another time after see how I'm doing at the Stage 1-3.
I'm pretty messed up so I'm going back to square one. Only going to use a single, short, easy to read & digest source: The Basic Method of Meditaion by Ajahn Brahmavamso. I want to minimize confusion, information overload & ambiguity.
I have yet to think about the specific method I'm going to stick to for mindfulness outside of sitting, so this method will be just for sitting.
Disclaimer!
- I am NOT a meditation teacher or teacher of any kind.
- This is a personal summary of the above mentioned source, which may or may not reflect the actual contents of the source.
Stage 1:
Goal - To stay in the present, avoid going off into the past or future.
Key - Effort to be directed to letting go, abandon & renounce
Task - Keep the attention right in the present moment for long, unbroken periods of time
Method to do Task - Unmentioned explicitly. But can be inferred from Stage 2 that thoughts of noting of the present moment is the method for this stage. (If you do find that it is mentioned explicitly, please let me know)
Stage 2:
Task - Silent awareness of the present in every moment, avoiding inner speech.
Method - No inner speech, no inner chatter. Mindfully greet everything just as it arrives in the mind.
Stage 3:
Task - Silent present moment awareness of just ONE THING. Silent present moment awareness of the breath.
Method - *Thankfully, it is a free distribution by Buddhist Fellowship Singapore & available on the Web too so I will not run into any copyright issues for chunking the below down. Speaking of which, I had better renew my membership with them. I like this method below, so I'm copying wholesale without any alterations for others to read.*
'When you focus on the breath, you focus on the experience of the breath happening now. You experience "that which tells you what the breath is doing". whether it is going in or out or in between. Some teachers say to watch the breath at the tip of the nose, some say to watch it at the abdomen and some say to move it here and then move it there. I have found through experience that it does not matter where you watch the breath. In fact it is best not to locate the breath anywhere! If you locate the breath at the tip of your nose then it becomes nose awareness, not breath awareness, and if you locate it at your abdomen then it becomes abdomen awareness. Just ask yourself the question right now "Am I breathing in or am I breathing out?" How do you know? There! That experience which tells you what the breath is doing, that is what you focus on in breath meditation. Let go of concern about where this experience is located; just focus on the experience itself.
A common hindrance at this stage is the tendency to control the breathing, and this makes the breathing uncomfortable. To overcome this hindrance, imagine that you are just a passenger in a car looking through the window at your breath. You are not the driver, nor a "back seat driver", so stop giving orders, let go and enjoy the ride. Let the breath do the breathing while you simply watch without interfering. When you know the breath is going in, or the breath is going out, for say one hundred breaths in a row, not missing one, then you have achieved what I call the third stage of this meditation, sustained attention on the breath.'
Stage 4: I'll look at it another time after see how I'm doing at the Stage 1-3.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Loneliness & Us
The following post is inspired by the blog article Lonely But Never Alone.
Under the night sky, I traced the border of an open platform to approach a cold, white-washed, coporate building. Stealthily, I took side glances at paired silhouettes that were cozying on the stone seats surrounding the space.
Smiled alittle to myself. I thought about Loneliness. A light touch with the universal human trait.
Wait, wasn't I suppose to already have a partner, which disqualifies me to speak of loneliness?
It just goes to show that the feeling of loneliness, just like every other feeling, is well within the reach of everyone. To divulge alittle to validate my qualification, me & my partner is a strange combination, we openly acknowledge that we can't keep each other happy, yet we are still together since Day 1. I like solving problems quickly, so I had quickly told him to go to someone else who can make him happy, or whatever it is. But he has not gone or left yet, so far, for reasons unknown by me. Is it love? Is it clinching onto something you can't let go of? Is it a continuation of habit? Is it sensitivity, consideration for others? I can't be sure.
So yes, Loneliness is my friend too. When Loneliness visits me, I have alone time with him. Loneliness is one of my a loyal, familiar friends, because like all feelings which has been with me for so long, it has been there all along & will continue to be.
The most endearing quality of Loneliness is that he visits everyone else occasionally too. Just to find out how we're doing when we're alone. We all share that same loyal friend. Whilst we might be thinking that Loneliness only visits us, we do not give thought that Loneliness has been a friend to everyone else we know and don't know.
When he arrives, we feel his presence. We have some interaction with him - maybe continue a lingering conversation or sometimes we are quick to usher him out the door. All the same, after some moments of catching up, Loneliness leaves out of our door. Just as he did with his other friends.
Through Loneliness as our mutual friend, we discover that there are others who share the common human condition.
I can't compose poems so this is a really lovely peom from a song, expressively sung. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-S90Uch2as&NR=1
Under the night sky, I traced the border of an open platform to approach a cold, white-washed, coporate building. Stealthily, I took side glances at paired silhouettes that were cozying on the stone seats surrounding the space.
Smiled alittle to myself. I thought about Loneliness. A light touch with the universal human trait.
Wait, wasn't I suppose to already have a partner, which disqualifies me to speak of loneliness?
It just goes to show that the feeling of loneliness, just like every other feeling, is well within the reach of everyone. To divulge alittle to validate my qualification, me & my partner is a strange combination, we openly acknowledge that we can't keep each other happy, yet we are still together since Day 1. I like solving problems quickly, so I had quickly told him to go to someone else who can make him happy, or whatever it is. But he has not gone or left yet, so far, for reasons unknown by me. Is it love? Is it clinching onto something you can't let go of? Is it a continuation of habit? Is it sensitivity, consideration for others? I can't be sure.
So yes, Loneliness is my friend too. When Loneliness visits me, I have alone time with him. Loneliness is one of my a loyal, familiar friends, because like all feelings which has been with me for so long, it has been there all along & will continue to be.
The most endearing quality of Loneliness is that he visits everyone else occasionally too. Just to find out how we're doing when we're alone. We all share that same loyal friend. Whilst we might be thinking that Loneliness only visits us, we do not give thought that Loneliness has been a friend to everyone else we know and don't know.
When he arrives, we feel his presence. We have some interaction with him - maybe continue a lingering conversation or sometimes we are quick to usher him out the door. All the same, after some moments of catching up, Loneliness leaves out of our door. Just as he did with his other friends.
Through Loneliness as our mutual friend, we discover that there are others who share the common human condition.
I can't compose poems so this is a really lovely peom from a song, expressively sung. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-S90Uch2as&NR=1
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp I turn my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared Disturb the sound of silence
"Fools," said I, "you do not know Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Systematic approach to a Holistic approach
There's a lot of debate, confusion about how to thread the Noble Eightfold path. Can I say that I've threaded it for the my whole life? For the past month? For the past week even? No, I don't think so.
When did I thread the Noble Eightfold Path then? Only during meditation? Seriously don't know the answer to that.
There's no doubt that the absolute correct way to thread the Eightfold Path is to use the holistic approach. Meaning that all the 8 factors have to be imbued and exerted at the simultaneously and continuously. I feel that the only time this is possible is when there is slow, careful mindfulness.
In order for us form and equip ourselves with the right & best holistic approach to the 8th Fold Path, we need to use a systematic approach.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Starting today, I'm gearing up for some experimentation.
You see, I'm impatient about knowing the results, I'm quite skeptical about the approach I'm using. I don't want to wait till my dying days to reflect and ponder on the results of threading the Noble Eightfold Path in this life. I suspect that I may not even have the mental capacity to do that then. Even if I'll have the mental capacity then, I may not be able to objectively reflect on it.
I want to have a taste of how the fruits of the labor will be. Will it be ineffective, will I still feel like Gollum? Will it be amazingly effective, will I turn out to become a holy goddess? Or will it be something more simple.
I don't see any much change in myself so far, except that I'm more alert & awake in my waking hours now. Is this all there is to it? Am I doing something wrong? I think I've been inadequate and quite variant with doing mindfulness. What if I put in more effort & have a fixed approach?
Purpose of experimentation:
1) To find out what/how I will become if I stay dedicated to living my life using the current approach
2) To be able to analyze the effectiveness of the approach
Variable to be kept constant during experimentation:
The approach to be used, consisting of
1) methods of doing mindfulness
2) set of methods used to purge unwanted states of mind
Regarding the variables above, I've yet to determine and fix them.
Now time to head for some sleep as my night and wee morning hours will soon turn into a hectic weekend work.
When did I thread the Noble Eightfold Path then? Only during meditation? Seriously don't know the answer to that.
There's no doubt that the absolute correct way to thread the Eightfold Path is to use the holistic approach. Meaning that all the 8 factors have to be imbued and exerted at the simultaneously and continuously. I feel that the only time this is possible is when there is slow, careful mindfulness.
In order for us form and equip ourselves with the right & best holistic approach to the 8th Fold Path, we need to use a systematic approach.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Starting today, I'm gearing up for some experimentation.
You see, I'm impatient about knowing the results, I'm quite skeptical about the approach I'm using. I don't want to wait till my dying days to reflect and ponder on the results of threading the Noble Eightfold Path in this life. I suspect that I may not even have the mental capacity to do that then. Even if I'll have the mental capacity then, I may not be able to objectively reflect on it.
I want to have a taste of how the fruits of the labor will be. Will it be ineffective, will I still feel like Gollum? Will it be amazingly effective, will I turn out to become a holy goddess? Or will it be something more simple.
I don't see any much change in myself so far, except that I'm more alert & awake in my waking hours now. Is this all there is to it? Am I doing something wrong? I think I've been inadequate and quite variant with doing mindfulness. What if I put in more effort & have a fixed approach?
Purpose of experimentation:
1) To find out what/how I will become if I stay dedicated to living my life using the current approach
2) To be able to analyze the effectiveness of the approach
Variable to be kept constant during experimentation:
The approach to be used, consisting of
1) methods of doing mindfulness
2) set of methods used to purge unwanted states of mind
Regarding the variables above, I've yet to determine and fix them.
Now time to head for some sleep as my night and wee morning hours will soon turn into a hectic weekend work.
Cyclic Dukkha
Dukkha comes in many ways and forms. But the worse kind of dukkha are the uncontrollable cyclic type.
Non-stop breathing feels like a dukkha.
Non-stop heart beating feels like a dukkha.
In normal times, we hardly notice clearly that we're constantly operating like a machine for 24/7 since day 1.
In meditation, we become aware of these 2 activites. It gets to a point where even these 2 activites feel like a hassle, a constant burden which doesn't stop, even if we wanted to. You'd wish that you don't have to be constantly breathing. It feels tiresome. It's a wonder why they don't seem tiresome in normal circumstances.
You'd wish you could get some rest.
Non-stop breathing feels like a dukkha.
Non-stop heart beating feels like a dukkha.
In normal times, we hardly notice clearly that we're constantly operating like a machine for 24/7 since day 1.
In meditation, we become aware of these 2 activites. It gets to a point where even these 2 activites feel like a hassle, a constant burden which doesn't stop, even if we wanted to. You'd wish that you don't have to be constantly breathing. It feels tiresome. It's a wonder why they don't seem tiresome in normal circumstances.
You'd wish you could get some rest.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Zen, ZaZen, Zennist, Zenith
I'm exploring the virtual space for blogs. It's another avenue through which I get inspiration. It feels as though I'm connecting with fellow "kinsman". Trevor's Zen blog is one I've found recently.
The simplist things in life are the most beautiful.
Everyone regardless of identity, race, location, personality, can enjoy them to the fullest in the simplist way.
The trickling sound of clear water from a fountain. Looking out through the veil of the falling rain. Hearing the sound of the rainfall. The refreshing sight of greens.
The simplist things in life are the most beautiful.
Everyone regardless of identity, race, location, personality, can enjoy them to the fullest in the simplist way.
The trickling sound of clear water from a fountain. Looking out through the veil of the falling rain. Hearing the sound of the rainfall. The refreshing sight of greens.
Death Meditation
For some reason, I'm on a HIGH. Maybe it's the caffeine I took. What do I care about the calories, the unhealthiness of caffeine. For all I know, it is the best remedy for me, it buoys me up physically & mentally. Not spiritually though.
I'm bursting with energy, overflowing with positivity. No, it's not quite a mindful happiness. So high that I wanted to see and hear Eric Cartman sing Poker Face on Guitar Hero at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjR78I1hCBI. This character simply leaves me smiling with mirth. Pls pardon the trashy me.
Amid all these, I'm secretly getting excited about next week. I'll be left all alone next week. What a rare opportunity!
I've got an idea boiling in my head. I feel like challenging myself. I feel like I should spend 1 whole day (let's say this in the ancient Indian way: for 1 day & 1 night) doing silent mindfulness at home alone. Yes, this will be a BIG challenge for me. I dare not place any bets beyond 1 day & 1 night, as I'm sure I'll break that resolution for certainty if I go beyond that. As usual, I take up only those challenges which are quite a BARGAIN. I play cheat, just so that I can win.
I'm contemplating whether I'll be up for another type of BIG challenge. It's big, but it's not one I've not done before. And I'm getting increasingly interested to find out if I could play it out again. I'm kind of dying to find out what will happen to me if I meditated pretending that I have forever, pretending that I have nothing else to do for the rest of my life.
I've sat for 4 1/2 - 5 hrs straight during a single meditation session before, and it turned out to be rather interesting. I want to venture beyond the concept of a time limit. I want to know what will happen to me if I didn't care and know about time. Will I DIE out of restlessness? Will I DIE out of anxiousness to end the meditation? Will I DIE out of pain, itchiness, stiffness, cold, heat? Will I DIE in my battle with the mind? I feel like this time, I want to push it to the limits again - just to see what happens. I've got a feeling that fear will be the nemesis again. I'll go moment-by-moment till I find that I cannot bring myself to go anymore.
Well, if I don't continue to blog in the week after next, chances are that I became the first person in the world to die during meditation.
I want to pretend again, that I have NOTHING LEFT TO DO in this world except to sit there, breath, and be mindful of the breath & the knowing mind.
I'm bursting with energy, overflowing with positivity. No, it's not quite a mindful happiness. So high that I wanted to see and hear Eric Cartman sing Poker Face on Guitar Hero at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjR78I1hCBI. This character simply leaves me smiling with mirth. Pls pardon the trashy me.
Amid all these, I'm secretly getting excited about next week. I'll be left all alone next week. What a rare opportunity!
I've got an idea boiling in my head. I feel like challenging myself. I feel like I should spend 1 whole day (let's say this in the ancient Indian way: for 1 day & 1 night) doing silent mindfulness at home alone. Yes, this will be a BIG challenge for me. I dare not place any bets beyond 1 day & 1 night, as I'm sure I'll break that resolution for certainty if I go beyond that. As usual, I take up only those challenges which are quite a BARGAIN. I play cheat, just so that I can win.
I'm contemplating whether I'll be up for another type of BIG challenge. It's big, but it's not one I've not done before. And I'm getting increasingly interested to find out if I could play it out again. I'm kind of dying to find out what will happen to me if I meditated pretending that I have forever, pretending that I have nothing else to do for the rest of my life.
I've sat for 4 1/2 - 5 hrs straight during a single meditation session before, and it turned out to be rather interesting. I want to venture beyond the concept of a time limit. I want to know what will happen to me if I didn't care and know about time. Will I DIE out of restlessness? Will I DIE out of anxiousness to end the meditation? Will I DIE out of pain, itchiness, stiffness, cold, heat? Will I DIE in my battle with the mind? I feel like this time, I want to push it to the limits again - just to see what happens. I've got a feeling that fear will be the nemesis again. I'll go moment-by-moment till I find that I cannot bring myself to go anymore.
Well, if I don't continue to blog in the week after next, chances are that I became the first person in the world to die during meditation.
I want to pretend again, that I have NOTHING LEFT TO DO in this world except to sit there, breath, and be mindful of the breath & the knowing mind.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Anatta, Non-Personality
I didn't know that I enjoy writing, writing about the things that fascinates me.
Since I've got the momentum going on the ponderings of Anatta, I'll continue to ride on it before it becomes a drudgery.
So I did a reality check with the teacher's blog post Anatta and Rebirth and it was very relevent for me.
"When some people learn that Buddhism teaches rebirth and also that there is no self (anatta), they find it difficult to understand how rebirth can take place: `If there is no self or soul,' they ask, `what passes from one life to the next?' This problem is more apparent than real. Firstly, the Buddha did not teach that there is no self as such - he taught that there is no permanent, unchanging, metaphysical self."
I don't wish to debate and entangle my mind on what is the entity or non-entity that's traversing birth after birth. Nevertheless, I'm convinced now of the properties of the entity or non-entity: impermanent & changing. I'm not sure of the meaning of "metaphysical self" in this context to make a convinction out of it.
Incidentally, I've discovered a blog profile description by a young Zen Priest at http://thebigoldoaktree.blogspot.com/ which summed-up everything nicely:
"Every day, I see more and more that I don't know who or what I am. Some day I will be dead."
This 2 simple sentences stoke a cord with me instantly.
I'm realize that I don't actually know what I was in the past...even 5 years ago. Yes, I know I was an average undergrad who hated studying, who was addicted to playing MMORPG games, who skipped lectures, etc etc. But my personality has evolved from that. My yesterday's personality is not today's personality. What were my dreams yesterday are not my dreams today. What were my likes & dislikes yesterday are not totally the same as those today. My personality today will change. So my personality cannot be ever lasting. The personality that I thought defined me....I'm not bounded, fixed by this personality. This actually feels very liberating.
Liberating in the sense that it has greatly reduced my self-struggle. I'm my biggest enemy -because I'm a lazy cow, I'm restless, I get bored easily, I'm interested in too many things. But if these personality are not permanent, are of no-substance, then I'm not held down by them. I don't have to constantly engage in a self-struggle.
Pure Liberation! To some extent, but more than before!
Since I've got the momentum going on the ponderings of Anatta, I'll continue to ride on it before it becomes a drudgery.
So I did a reality check with the teacher's blog post Anatta and Rebirth and it was very relevent for me.
"When some people learn that Buddhism teaches rebirth and also that there is no self (anatta), they find it difficult to understand how rebirth can take place: `If there is no self or soul,' they ask, `what passes from one life to the next?' This problem is more apparent than real. Firstly, the Buddha did not teach that there is no self as such - he taught that there is no permanent, unchanging, metaphysical self."
I don't wish to debate and entangle my mind on what is the entity or non-entity that's traversing birth after birth. Nevertheless, I'm convinced now of the properties of the entity or non-entity: impermanent & changing. I'm not sure of the meaning of "metaphysical self" in this context to make a convinction out of it.
Incidentally, I've discovered a blog profile description by a young Zen Priest at http://thebigoldoaktree.blogspot.com/ which summed-up everything nicely:
"Every day, I see more and more that I don't know who or what I am. Some day I will be dead."
This 2 simple sentences stoke a cord with me instantly.
I'm realize that I don't actually know what I was in the past...even 5 years ago. Yes, I know I was an average undergrad who hated studying, who was addicted to playing MMORPG games, who skipped lectures, etc etc. But my personality has evolved from that. My yesterday's personality is not today's personality. What were my dreams yesterday are not my dreams today. What were my likes & dislikes yesterday are not totally the same as those today. My personality today will change. So my personality cannot be ever lasting. The personality that I thought defined me....I'm not bounded, fixed by this personality. This actually feels very liberating.
Liberating in the sense that it has greatly reduced my self-struggle. I'm my biggest enemy -because I'm a lazy cow, I'm restless, I get bored easily, I'm interested in too many things. But if these personality are not permanent, are of no-substance, then I'm not held down by them. I don't have to constantly engage in a self-struggle.
Pure Liberation! To some extent, but more than before!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Nama, Rupa; Atta, Anatta (II)
In my relentless conquest in the Buddhist arena for stability, mindfulness & insight, I think I've stumbled upon a formula, a breakthrough that I can work on.
In the post Nama, Rupa; Atta, Anatta (I), I mentioned a patient suffering from Alzheimer. One eighth of the time, I've been pondering on this. I'm usually a very busy bee who's multi-prioritizing, I'm washing clothes (I'm forever stuck doing this cyclic, mundane chore), I'm reading a PERFECT non-Buddhist-related novel for me right now, working, etc etc. Incidentally, the author of this novel The Lost Books of the Odyssey, is also a Computer Scientist specializing in AI (I want to call myself a Computer Scientist as the Comp Engin I took was the same branch as that, although I'm hardly doing anything that's science-sy now). I'm curious how after studying robotics and AI - which is a very narrow, specialized & demanding specialty, he ended up being a fictional author, a distinguished one even. Truely a puzzle.
Back on the topic:
If by some accident, illness, or the mere effects of natural causes, we can lose our memory - losing our knowledge of the past; of our personal preferences, then our preferences, our likes, dislikes are insubstantial in essence. I feel that this is one hypothesis which is unconsciously known to be true by medical & scientific professionals, even by us laypeople. We see fMRI scans, showing the changes in various or specific brain sections, which explains why a patient is not responding, is not able to walk any longer, is no longer intellectually capable of holding a conversation, is no longer able to remember who someone is, in some cases he/she may not even remember who they are.
That clearly provides evidences for Anatta. Ok, I know that in the post Striving for abandonment, I argued that I neither subscribed to a 'non-soul' nor 'soul'. But this incident has pivoted my view towards a non-eternal, non-essential self -- Anatta.
That patient, he loved spicy, ethnic food. Now, I'm sure he doesn't remember that about himself, and neither does he love it already. His past is lost, his preference feeling is lost.
That signifies to me that my own preferences which I thought defines, in a way, who I am, how I am, and what motivates me, is nothing but an illusion. Let me explain myself through an example: I'm walking, and then I feel bored, I desire and want to listen to music, I think that THIS IS WHAT I WANT, and I relented and listened unmindfully to music.
Before now, I've always thought that when I wanted this, when I desired for this, when I have this or that emotion, when I have this or that thought, IT IS ME.
Now, I'm beginning to suspect that THEY ARE NOT ME. That they are actually phantoms; phantoms which have formed, appearing like a solidified, personal facade, from the past habitual inclinations. Phantoms which are bound to change, phantoms which are bound to disappear, phantoms which are NOT ME.
Since I'm beginning to acknowledge them as phantoms, I have the power. I have the power to refuse these phantoms the overpowering influence they've been having on my actions, on my choices. I'm quite confident about the fact of using this method of acknowledging them as phantoms has worked on me, on about 5 incidents so far. When I was lazy to get up in the morning, when I wanted a wink more, I felt lazy. I recalled to try out this method. My knowing mind said in assertion "The laziness is not me. The want to sleep longer is not me." and then I got up. I felt bored, my knowing mind said in assertion "This feeling of boredom is not me. This feeling of boredom is only the cumulative result of my past inclinations. I can don't listen to what they are telling me. I can take a different route. I can take a route that I know is good for me." and then I was able to let go of the feeling of boredom very easily.
Be weary here not to get into the wrong grasp of Anatta, that it means that since there is 'no-self', we are not 'responsible' for our actions, our choices. To me, right now, actions & choices are like commodities which have intrinsic value in themselves, which will bear their values later in time. These commodities require an investor to invest in them. BUT there is NO FIXED PERSONALITY as a particular investor actually placing investments in these commodities. These commodity investments have value even though there is no such investor.
I now see clearer, with observation and analytical reasoning, that Anatta refers to those phantoms which speak in my head as "I want to do this/that", "I feel *emotion*" where emotion can be sad, bored, restless, etc.
Disclaimer: This is only a result of an instance of analytical reasoning based on previously gathered knowledge & observations. It is subject to change over time. I shall use it, but not hold onto it. I've previously read somewhere that both holding on to 'soul' or 'non-soul' is a wrong view. Gosh, sometimes information overload can get really confusing and messed up! But personally, I do believe that holding on to anything too much will hinder my progress to know the real knowledge - whatever it may be.
In the post Nama, Rupa; Atta, Anatta (I), I mentioned a patient suffering from Alzheimer. One eighth of the time, I've been pondering on this. I'm usually a very busy bee who's multi-prioritizing, I'm washing clothes (I'm forever stuck doing this cyclic, mundane chore), I'm reading a PERFECT non-Buddhist-related novel for me right now, working, etc etc. Incidentally, the author of this novel The Lost Books of the Odyssey, is also a Computer Scientist specializing in AI (I want to call myself a Computer Scientist as the Comp Engin I took was the same branch as that, although I'm hardly doing anything that's science-sy now). I'm curious how after studying robotics and AI - which is a very narrow, specialized & demanding specialty, he ended up being a fictional author, a distinguished one even. Truely a puzzle.
Back on the topic:
If by some accident, illness, or the mere effects of natural causes, we can lose our memory - losing our knowledge of the past; of our personal preferences, then our preferences, our likes, dislikes are insubstantial in essence. I feel that this is one hypothesis which is unconsciously known to be true by medical & scientific professionals, even by us laypeople. We see fMRI scans, showing the changes in various or specific brain sections, which explains why a patient is not responding, is not able to walk any longer, is no longer intellectually capable of holding a conversation, is no longer able to remember who someone is, in some cases he/she may not even remember who they are.
That clearly provides evidences for Anatta. Ok, I know that in the post Striving for abandonment, I argued that I neither subscribed to a 'non-soul' nor 'soul'. But this incident has pivoted my view towards a non-eternal, non-essential self -- Anatta.
That patient, he loved spicy, ethnic food. Now, I'm sure he doesn't remember that about himself, and neither does he love it already. His past is lost, his preference feeling is lost.
That signifies to me that my own preferences which I thought defines, in a way, who I am, how I am, and what motivates me, is nothing but an illusion. Let me explain myself through an example: I'm walking, and then I feel bored, I desire and want to listen to music, I think that THIS IS WHAT I WANT, and I relented and listened unmindfully to music.
Before now, I've always thought that when I wanted this, when I desired for this, when I have this or that emotion, when I have this or that thought, IT IS ME.
Now, I'm beginning to suspect that THEY ARE NOT ME. That they are actually phantoms; phantoms which have formed, appearing like a solidified, personal facade, from the past habitual inclinations. Phantoms which are bound to change, phantoms which are bound to disappear, phantoms which are NOT ME.
Since I'm beginning to acknowledge them as phantoms, I have the power. I have the power to refuse these phantoms the overpowering influence they've been having on my actions, on my choices. I'm quite confident about the fact of using this method of acknowledging them as phantoms has worked on me, on about 5 incidents so far. When I was lazy to get up in the morning, when I wanted a wink more, I felt lazy. I recalled to try out this method. My knowing mind said in assertion "The laziness is not me. The want to sleep longer is not me." and then I got up. I felt bored, my knowing mind said in assertion "This feeling of boredom is not me. This feeling of boredom is only the cumulative result of my past inclinations. I can don't listen to what they are telling me. I can take a different route. I can take a route that I know is good for me." and then I was able to let go of the feeling of boredom very easily.
Be weary here not to get into the wrong grasp of Anatta, that it means that since there is 'no-self', we are not 'responsible' for our actions, our choices. To me, right now, actions & choices are like commodities which have intrinsic value in themselves, which will bear their values later in time. These commodities require an investor to invest in them. BUT there is NO FIXED PERSONALITY as a particular investor actually placing investments in these commodities. These commodity investments have value even though there is no such investor.
I now see clearer, with observation and analytical reasoning, that Anatta refers to those phantoms which speak in my head as "I want to do this/that", "I feel *emotion*" where emotion can be sad, bored, restless, etc.
Disclaimer: This is only a result of an instance of analytical reasoning based on previously gathered knowledge & observations. It is subject to change over time. I shall use it, but not hold onto it. I've previously read somewhere that both holding on to 'soul' or 'non-soul' is a wrong view. Gosh, sometimes information overload can get really confusing and messed up! But personally, I do believe that holding on to anything too much will hinder my progress to know the real knowledge - whatever it may be.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Some Regrets
At the bus stop in a rather busy industrial district, I noticed a man in his late 50s - 60s almost lying down on the bus stop chair-bench. He had only one full leg, the other one was amputated and his prosthetic leg was beside him. He was busy stuffing tissue paper into the shoe that his good leg was wearing. There was a couple of flies which seem to be attracted to that leg.
It wasn't a pretty sight. It was out-of-place. I didn't know what he was up to - was he begging, was he resting or was he waiting for someone, or was he waiting for office people to disappear till he camp for the night there. Bus stop was crowded. No body seems to be looking at him. I thought about whether I should approach him. I thought that the Singapore Govt would surely have charities and other help to take care of people like him - afterall a prosthetic leg is an expensive thing. I wasn't keen to help him out physically, but financially I didn't mind. I saw the bus approaching, I rushed for it, I looked at him again, thought about it, and went up.
Still I continued to think about it. I thought that he might have needed some help. I thought that if I could have at least shown that I'm concerned, he wouldn't feel so sad, despondent & helpless. Tears welled up in my eyes when I thought of what he could have been feeling, of what I could have done but did not do.
I have a thing for old, helpless, poor looking people. A picture from a few years ago, of an old skinny man riding on a WW II era bicycle appeared in my mind. This old man was really a picture I cannot erase from my mind ever since. He was riding on that kind of bicycle (no kidding!), with a large straw basket tied to the pavilion seat, and he was SMILING! I cannot fathom an old man about about 70+, that skinny - literally skin on bones, and riding that huge mean old bicycle, and still SMILING. When I saw him coming in the opposite direction on the road, I couldn't believe my eyes. Am I in affluent Singapore in the 21st century? Oh, and he was half naked with some old shorts on. I didn't know where he came from, I half-suspected that he did a time travel here. I took a loooonnng look at him coming, and I took a looong look at him passing me with a slow, striding work on the pedals with the loose rattling sound from the bicycle gears and chains. I let him pass by me. I looked back at him, a loooonng look until he turned a bend and disappeared out of sight. It was a strange, wrenching sight. I wondered how he could be so smiley, so evidently enjoying his morning ride. I half-thought that the Singapore Govt would surely have charities and other help to take care of people like him.
Second time on another occasion, I saw this same grandpa on his remarkable bicycle. I bet he is one dinosaur left in affluent 21st century Singapore. I wanted to chase him, stop him, and ask if he needed some money. I had only 50$ at that time and I was quite prepared to give it to him. But I didn't chase after his old bicycle. I remembered all these again and tears welled up with the remembrance of him - could he still be alive? could he still be riding that WW (II) bicycle with big straw basket and same shorts going somewhere? - and the thought that I could have done something that could have significant impact to his day at that time. But which I did not do.
Alighted from the bus. I saw a not so old man in a wheelchair selling some small stuffs. A chance for redemption came to my mind. Something I could do easily to make him feel happy, cared about at least for that moment, and this time, I will do it. So I redeemed myself, unfortunately not with the same people.
It wasn't a pretty sight. It was out-of-place. I didn't know what he was up to - was he begging, was he resting or was he waiting for someone, or was he waiting for office people to disappear till he camp for the night there. Bus stop was crowded. No body seems to be looking at him. I thought about whether I should approach him. I thought that the Singapore Govt would surely have charities and other help to take care of people like him - afterall a prosthetic leg is an expensive thing. I wasn't keen to help him out physically, but financially I didn't mind. I saw the bus approaching, I rushed for it, I looked at him again, thought about it, and went up.
Still I continued to think about it. I thought that he might have needed some help. I thought that if I could have at least shown that I'm concerned, he wouldn't feel so sad, despondent & helpless. Tears welled up in my eyes when I thought of what he could have been feeling, of what I could have done but did not do.
I have a thing for old, helpless, poor looking people. A picture from a few years ago, of an old skinny man riding on a WW II era bicycle appeared in my mind. This old man was really a picture I cannot erase from my mind ever since. He was riding on that kind of bicycle (no kidding!), with a large straw basket tied to the pavilion seat, and he was SMILING! I cannot fathom an old man about about 70+, that skinny - literally skin on bones, and riding that huge mean old bicycle, and still SMILING. When I saw him coming in the opposite direction on the road, I couldn't believe my eyes. Am I in affluent Singapore in the 21st century? Oh, and he was half naked with some old shorts on. I didn't know where he came from, I half-suspected that he did a time travel here. I took a loooonnng look at him coming, and I took a looong look at him passing me with a slow, striding work on the pedals with the loose rattling sound from the bicycle gears and chains. I let him pass by me. I looked back at him, a loooonng look until he turned a bend and disappeared out of sight. It was a strange, wrenching sight. I wondered how he could be so smiley, so evidently enjoying his morning ride. I half-thought that the Singapore Govt would surely have charities and other help to take care of people like him.
Second time on another occasion, I saw this same grandpa on his remarkable bicycle. I bet he is one dinosaur left in affluent 21st century Singapore. I wanted to chase him, stop him, and ask if he needed some money. I had only 50$ at that time and I was quite prepared to give it to him. But I didn't chase after his old bicycle. I remembered all these again and tears welled up with the remembrance of him - could he still be alive? could he still be riding that WW (II) bicycle with big straw basket and same shorts going somewhere? - and the thought that I could have done something that could have significant impact to his day at that time. But which I did not do.
Alighted from the bus. I saw a not so old man in a wheelchair selling some small stuffs. A chance for redemption came to my mind. Something I could do easily to make him feel happy, cared about at least for that moment, and this time, I will do it. So I redeemed myself, unfortunately not with the same people.
Blind Buddhist Fanatic
As I'm not a scholar in Buddhist literature and history, I usually get my information from various places here and there. Before I knew of the teacher Ven Shravasti Dhammika from http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/, I was a blind Buddhist fanatic. Why I was a blind fanatic is because I wanted to believe in almost everything. I was afraid that if I did not believe in what the source tell me, I will lose out.- So I believed a source which told me that if I did not read Abhidhamma in this life, I would not be making the best of my opportunity. I hate to make a waste of good opportunities which seem like a bargain to me.
- I believed that an effigy of the Buddha would miraclously be formed at the end of the Buddha sasana when all the remaining relics of the Buddha gathered in Sri Lanka. And that the effigy would 'come alive' to perform the Twin Miracle (I spent ALOT of time searching for the meaning of that) and teach the teachings of the Buddha to the Devas who will be present, before bursting into flames.
- I believed that the Buddha's and his accomplished disciples (including those from much later times) had pearl-like bodily deposits when they were cremated, what we call the holy relics - due to their extraordinarily pure morality.
- I believed that the Buddha did go to heaven for 3 months to teach the 'higher' Dharma to the Devas, because this Abhidhamma needs to be expounded in full at the first time, because humans cannot sit still for 3 months in a time, and because he wanted to re-pay his reincarnated mother.
- I believed that that Mount Meru is where the 4 'world islands' touch each other, and that it connects the physical world to the spiritual realm. That Devas & Asuras reside on the slopes of Mount Meru. I spent alot of my time & energy 'researching' and reading on this Mount Meru too.
The above are just some of the things on Buddhism I believed in as a blind fanatic. On retrospect, I feel rather embarrassed for being childlike and guillible despite my other logical outlooks. From this teacher, I learnt that Buddhist literature have their own timelines.
All I knew was that the Tipitaka had 3 baskets, the Vinaya, the Sutta & the Abhidhamma Pitaka, so I assumed that the Abhidhamma is also taught by the Buddha himself. Although I've read that during the First Council the Vinaya and Suttas were recited, I did not notice the absence of the mention of Abhidhamma. Neither was I capable of telling an estimate timeline for the appearance of the Abhidhamma, that it was a later addition to the Tipitaka.
Although that doesn't mean that I think everything written in there is irrelevent and falsely made-up, I'm very happy to be able to leave it behind. This is a very detailed, microscopic breakdown of all physcial, mental phenomena, types of consciousnous and what not. *Phew!* I can't even tell when I'm greedy, drowsy, angry - fat hope of me trying to distinguish all 52 Cittas (states of consciousnous in Ahbhidhamma).
Nama, Rupa; Atta, Anatta (I)
If I'm not wrong:
Nama: All physical phenomena
Rupa: All mental phenomena
Atta: Concept of soul, self
Anatta: Concept of non-soul, non-self
I'm not sure if Anatta is in any way overlapped by Rupa. My purpose is not to root for Atta or Anatta, but to describe what I'm observing, which I feel shows a hint of evidence for Anatta.
So this is how my story goes:
Nama: All physical phenomena
Rupa: All mental phenomena
Atta: Concept of soul, self
Anatta: Concept of non-soul, non-self
I'm not sure if Anatta is in any way overlapped by Rupa. My purpose is not to root for Atta or Anatta, but to describe what I'm observing, which I feel shows a hint of evidence for Anatta.
So this is how my story goes:
I personally know of someone who's suffering from something like (doctors are not able to diagnose yet) rapidly advanced dementia or Alzheimer. Fortunately but sad to say, I'm in a position to be able to feel objective about this. This patient, being a recreational astrologer himself, had seen a few months ago that he would die soon, made a big fuss about it, and now a few months later, he's lost almost all cognitive functionality.
This situation presents something very interesting to me. Before this happened, the patient is known as Mr A. But now that he's lost his a large part of his memory, his past, unaware of his present, unable to function like before, I doubt that the current him is the same as what we used to know as Mr A. We cling onto what we know as Mr A, and wish that the current person would revert to Mr A again.
More than anything else, I'm frightened. Even in this life, what I think is me NOW, can cease to be that me no longer.
What I think is me who is thinking; who is feeling; who knows the past, who sees the present, may not be like what it is now in the future.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tibet Autonomous Region of Cina
I know very little of Tibet and Tibetan Buddhism. In fact, I know nothing about Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhism to comment anything about that sect of Buddhism. The only icon of Tibetan Buddhism I recognize is the current Dalai Lama. From what little I've seen and heard from the Dalai Lama, I've found him to be a colorful concoction of personable, lighthearted, iconic Buddhist figure. I can't think of a more world famous monk at our present time than the Dalai Lama (I'm not sure if monk is the right word here, probably 'demigod-ruler-monk' would be more fitting). I watched the Little Buddha as a kid, and I don't remember anything else of it except that the Tibetan Buddhists were looking for a particular young, western protégé whom they believed is the reincarnation of their leader to continue the Lama lineage. Keanu Reeves starred in that movie?! As The Buddha?!! I've gotto watch it again then!
In spite of everything else that I don't agree with - particularly the reincarnation part, I'm grateful to the current Dalai Lama for he has effectively promoted Buddhism to today's modern world by his reputation of being a simple, unassuming, down-to-earth, demigod religious leader who once ruled Tibet. I mean, the Dalai Lama is so much more personable, open about himself, smiling and funny compared to Pope Benedict - who appears so authoritative, distant and closed about himself. Did the Pope ever accepted an impromptu interview with the media? The Dalai Lama did - with the BBC, with Harvard University students, even with Larry King!
Here's to the Potala Palace, which once - half a century ago - was the abode of the religious demigods. Now, it is all but reduced to an intrinsically hollow, souless museum. I hate the Communist Chinese! (Tsk tsk, unwholesome speech, unwholesome thought) Why can't they leave things as they are without their big fat imperializing, ethnocentric ego. It is too cruel of them to evict and fabricate a picture of a sinister political exile out of the Dalai Lama. This bottle of Tibetan water given by a Chinese hotel free-of-charge provides the hint. Imperialism and greed - the desire to rule Lhasa into a capitalist and tourist paradize. I feel that this bottle, more than anything, symbolizes their success in trampling Tibet, home of the Dalai Lama. Being the secretly stubborn, idealistic me who doesn't make any sense, I REFUSE TO RELENT to their OUTRAGEOUS BLASPHEMY of Tibetan culture, symbol, environment & way of life - I've kept the bottle unopened, the Tibetan water (assuming that China is not making imitation Tibetan water) untasted, untouched.
Fact or Fiction: The Potala Palace was the tallest building in the world, before the advent of skyscrapers.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Let's talk about Romance
When it comes to this, personally it is something I cannot solve, somewhere I've found myself a deadlock in, there is no point in me talking to myself about it. But still, I'd like to voice my take on it lest it benefits others and motivates them to move on. Moving on positively is very important for our mental well-being.Devotion taught me everything I know - about thinking for another person. It taught me not to think only for myself. I used to be very spoilt and selfish, always with a self-fulfilling view. In the end, it will boil down to this simple lesson to be learnt. Life itself will boil down to each and every virtue.
But of course! Do not be disheartened. I don't think we should fret about finding THE PERFECT, IDEAL ONE. I truly believe that every one of us is compatible with at least a million others in this world, compatible enough to spend the reminder of our lives with.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Happy & Grateful Day
Yesterday was a truly happy day. Sometimes (though rarely in the 24hrs), I slow down. In those slow, moment-in-moment & moment-to-moment times, with nothing but the environment; the physical body of mine; and quiet mind, I find a contented emptiness - that which I call happiness.
These days, even when the mind is not quiet or I'm yearning, I listened to them patiently, and sometimes, just sometimes when I kindly and patiently listened to them without relenting in agreement, the same contented emptiness is found.
I found myself enjoying my quiet walk back home from work. I like walking, seeing the environment while I'm strolling.
I've noticed that there are alot of people out there who are running - whether on the street, gym, mountain or marathons. I imagine that it feels great to run for the love of running, to feel the air touch your face, to have a rythmically paced movement which charges your energy and mind. It's been ages since I last ran, ages since I swam, ages since I climbed, ages since I picked up my racket inspired by the William sisters till I found out I sucked at it. Part of me wish I would pick up sports again.
I found myself enjoying the very brief moment before the start of my meditation. That self-calming moment, that self-decidedly quiet moment, that moment when I decided to do something that I know is good for me.
It feels fresh, it feels crisp. Quite as if breathing in a crisp, cold air in the morning sun.
The pleasure of reading the below captions from the Cūḷadukkhakkhandha Sutta - The Shorter Discourse on the Mass of Suffering which related to my experience concluded my happy day.
At this point of time, I'm so eternally greatful to all those who remembered the Suttas to heart; to those who painfully compiled, organised and wrote them down; to those who studied Pali to produce high quality translations to make known these Suttas in the English language. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!
*******************************************************************
"Then Mahānāma the Sakyan went to the Blessed One, and after paying homage to him, he sat down at one side and said: "Venerable sir, I have long understood the Dhamma taught by the Blessed One thus: 'Greed is an imperfection that defiles the mind, hate is an imperfection that defiles the mind, delusion is an imperfection that defiles the mind.' Yet while I understand the Dhamma taught by the Blessed One thus, at times states of greed, hate, and delusion invade my mind and remain. I have wondered, venerable sir, what state is still unabandoned by me internally, owing to which at times these states of greed, hate, and delusion invade my mind and remain."
"Mahānāma, there is still a state unabandoned by you internally, owing to which at times states of greed, hate, and delusion invade your mind and remain; for were that state already abandoned by you internally you would not be living the home life, you would not be enjoying sensual pleasures. It is because that state is unabandoned by you internally that you are living the home life and enjoying sensual pleasures."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"'Friend Gotama, pleasure is not to be gained through pleasure; pleasure is to be gained through pain. For were pleasure to be gained through pleasure, then King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha would gain pleasure, since he abides in greater pleasure than the venerable Gotama.' "Surely the venerable Nigaṇṭhas have uttered those words rashly and and without reflection. Rather it is I who ought to be asked: "Who abides in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or the venerable Gotama?'"
"'Surely, friend Gotama, we uttered those words rashly and without reflection. But let that be. Now we ask the venerable Gotama: Who abides in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or the venerable Gotama?'
"'Then, friends, I shall ask you a question in return. Answer it as you like. What do you think, friends? Can King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha abide without moving his body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for seven days and nights?'—'No, friend.'—'Can King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha abide without moving his body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for six, five, four, three, or two days and nights?.. .for one day and night?'—'No, friend.'
'"But, friends, I can abide without moving my body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for one day and night...for two, three, four, five, and six days and nights...for seven days and nights. What do you think, friends? That being so, who dwells in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or I?'
"'That being so, the venerable Gotama abides in greater pleasure than King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha.'"
******************************************************************
These days, even when the mind is not quiet or I'm yearning, I listened to them patiently, and sometimes, just sometimes when I kindly and patiently listened to them without relenting in agreement, the same contented emptiness is found.
I found myself enjoying my quiet walk back home from work. I like walking, seeing the environment while I'm strolling.
I've noticed that there are alot of people out there who are running - whether on the street, gym, mountain or marathons. I imagine that it feels great to run for the love of running, to feel the air touch your face, to have a rythmically paced movement which charges your energy and mind. It's been ages since I last ran, ages since I swam, ages since I climbed, ages since I picked up my racket inspired by the William sisters till I found out I sucked at it. Part of me wish I would pick up sports again.
I found myself enjoying the very brief moment before the start of my meditation. That self-calming moment, that self-decidedly quiet moment, that moment when I decided to do something that I know is good for me.
It feels fresh, it feels crisp. Quite as if breathing in a crisp, cold air in the morning sun.
The pleasure of reading the below captions from the Cūḷadukkhakkhandha Sutta - The Shorter Discourse on the Mass of Suffering which related to my experience concluded my happy day.
At this point of time, I'm so eternally greatful to all those who remembered the Suttas to heart; to those who painfully compiled, organised and wrote them down; to those who studied Pali to produce high quality translations to make known these Suttas in the English language. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!
*******************************************************************
"Then Mahānāma the Sakyan went to the Blessed One, and after paying homage to him, he sat down at one side and said: "Venerable sir, I have long understood the Dhamma taught by the Blessed One thus: 'Greed is an imperfection that defiles the mind, hate is an imperfection that defiles the mind, delusion is an imperfection that defiles the mind.' Yet while I understand the Dhamma taught by the Blessed One thus, at times states of greed, hate, and delusion invade my mind and remain. I have wondered, venerable sir, what state is still unabandoned by me internally, owing to which at times these states of greed, hate, and delusion invade my mind and remain."
"Mahānāma, there is still a state unabandoned by you internally, owing to which at times states of greed, hate, and delusion invade your mind and remain; for were that state already abandoned by you internally you would not be living the home life, you would not be enjoying sensual pleasures. It is because that state is unabandoned by you internally that you are living the home life and enjoying sensual pleasures."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"'Friend Gotama, pleasure is not to be gained through pleasure; pleasure is to be gained through pain. For were pleasure to be gained through pleasure, then King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha would gain pleasure, since he abides in greater pleasure than the venerable Gotama.' "Surely the venerable Nigaṇṭhas have uttered those words rashly and and without reflection. Rather it is I who ought to be asked: "Who abides in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or the venerable Gotama?'"
"'Surely, friend Gotama, we uttered those words rashly and without reflection. But let that be. Now we ask the venerable Gotama: Who abides in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or the venerable Gotama?'
"'Then, friends, I shall ask you a question in return. Answer it as you like. What do you think, friends? Can King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha abide without moving his body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for seven days and nights?'—'No, friend.'—'Can King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha abide without moving his body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for six, five, four, three, or two days and nights?.. .for one day and night?'—'No, friend.'
'"But, friends, I can abide without moving my body or uttering a word, experiencing exclusively pleasure for one day and night...for two, three, four, five, and six days and nights...for seven days and nights. What do you think, friends? That being so, who dwells in greater pleasure, King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha or I?'
"'That being so, the venerable Gotama abides in greater pleasure than King Seniya Bimbisāra of Magadha.'"
******************************************************************
Monday, April 5, 2010
Are Buddhisty laypeople 'holier' than non-Buddhisty laypeople
I'm starting to feel that although I consume myself with Buddhist reads and TRY to meditate daily, I'm not anything better in person, character & mind from my few family members who also consider themself Buddhists but who don't read, meditate and in some case don't follow precepts as much as I do.
I don't think I'm more mindful, alert, caring, less greedy, patient, hardworking as them.
On the first point, unless I've decided on focus the attention on something like the breath movement, or the contact of my hand for a period of time, I stay on the path of mindfulness. Outside of these 2 boundaries, mindfulness is a come and go, unsustained affair.
What set me thinking is that my SO chidded that I'm a hypocrite - for trying to sound wise (I said something Buddhisty to him at that time which I've forgotten now) when I'm wearing a fancy watch & fancy ring among another things. I should have known better not to say anything that's Buddhisty.
But sometimes, I can't resist the urge to correct or help (at least that was my intention) by saying something Buddhisty. Sometimes, I think I'm just wasting my breath, even though I wish they could take some interest in learning the essential teachings of the Buddha.
But then again, my qualities are not better and in some cases worse than them. I think I need to go back to meditation guide book by Ajhan Brahm.
I don't think I'm more mindful, alert, caring, less greedy, patient, hardworking as them.
On the first point, unless I've decided on focus the attention on something like the breath movement, or the contact of my hand for a period of time, I stay on the path of mindfulness. Outside of these 2 boundaries, mindfulness is a come and go, unsustained affair.
What set me thinking is that my SO chidded that I'm a hypocrite - for trying to sound wise (I said something Buddhisty to him at that time which I've forgotten now) when I'm wearing a fancy watch & fancy ring among another things. I should have known better not to say anything that's Buddhisty.
But sometimes, I can't resist the urge to correct or help (at least that was my intention) by saying something Buddhisty. Sometimes, I think I'm just wasting my breath, even though I wish they could take some interest in learning the essential teachings of the Buddha.
But then again, my qualities are not better and in some cases worse than them. I think I need to go back to meditation guide book by Ajhan Brahm.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Wackiest April Fool
My April Fool came 2 days late, but I didn't mind it since it is BY FAR the wackiest 'news' I've ever read.
Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future
Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future
Our (only?) Duty to Unbinding
Finally, I've come across "The Leaves" Sutta, Simsapa Sutta - which was previously highlighted by someone, and which before that I had never heard of it.
What is interesting to note is that in this Sutta, the Buddha emphasized that he taught only the 4 Noble Truths pertinent to the goal. And that by contemplating on the 4 Noble Truths alone, unbinding will be the final result.
Taken from http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn56/sn56.031.than.html :
*********************************************************
"Once the Blessed One was staying at Kosambi in the simsapa forest. Then, picking up a few simsapa leaves with his hand, he asked the monks, "What do you think, monks: Which are more numerous, the few simsapa leaves in my hand or those overhead in the simsapa forest?"
"The leaves in the hand of the Blessed One are few in number, lord. Those overhead in the simsapa forest are more numerous."
"In the same way, monks, those things that I have known with direct knowledge but have not taught are far more numerous [than what I have taught]. And why haven't I taught them? Because they are not connected with the goal, do not relate to the rudiments of the holy life, and do not lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding. That is why I have not taught them.
"And what have I taught? 'This is stress... This is the origination of stress... This is the cessation of stress... This is the path of practice leading to the cessation of stress': This is what I have taught. And why have I taught these things? Because they are connected with the goal, relate to the rudiments of the holy life, and lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding. This is why I have taught them.
"Therefore your duty is the contemplation, 'This is stress... This is the origination of stress... This is the cessation of stress.' Your duty is the contemplation, 'This is the path of practice leading to the cessation of stress.'"
**********************************
I'm not sure why Suttas have been quoted very often, but seldom dissected and its dissection presented to others. Maybe it's because I've not gone to any Sutta study class? Gaining direct experiential knowledge, mentioned in the Sutta above itself and which we can also call it according to our modern definition as empirical knowledge, is the best knowledge. But second to that for me is the priori knowledge gained through dissecting all these reliable things (Suttas being one of the most reliable sources). Even if the best teachers were to personally teach us, I believe that we have to study, learn & experience for ourselves so that knowledge become ours. So this is my version of the dissection of this Sutta:
Is our duty that simple as it appears to be from the paragraph of the Sutta above? It sounds too good to be true to me. In practice, things get ambiguous, with lots of second-guessing like "Is this dukkha?".
How do we correctly recognize stress, to say confidently that "This is stress"?
From the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta: Setting the Wheel of Dhamma in Motion, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn56/sn56.011.than.html :
I prefer the translation version by Harvey -
***************************************************
"Now this, bhikkhus, for the spiritually ennobled ones, is the true reality which is pain: birth is painful, aging is painful, illness is painful, death is painful; sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, unhappiness and distress are painful; union with what is disliked is painful; separation from what is liked is painful; not to get what one wants is painful; in brief, the five bundles of grasping-fuel are painful."
***************************************************
Ok, suppose that we now know how to identify stress. Then is recognizing, noting & stating that "This is stress" - encompassing the action of contemplating - all that is fundamentally necessary for unbinding? I cannot be certain of the degree of efficiency, but among these 7 touted results (some arguably overlapping) by the Buddha "lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding", I know I have experienced 2 results - calm & dispassion - whenever I note that "This is stress".
Although the word used is 'contemplate', I think that thinking 'This is stress' is very much a noting mental activity. When 'contemplate' mental activity is used, at least for me, there arises confusing, ambiguous second-guessing 'what exactly should I contemplate regarding this'.
I would say that Calm & Dispassion are the immediate results in regard to noting that something is stressful. Maybe we have to wait a long time to have the opportunity to note illness; death; lamentation; union with what is disliked; etc. But we have lots of opportunity to note the 'five bundles of grasping-fuel', that they are painful and stressful.
The action of Grasping is easy to see - so frequently we are grasping something new - tagging it accordingly as pleasant or unpleasant the moment we pick up attention on it. (Hmm...I wonder why only the 5 senses constitute the five bundles of grasping-fuel...why is the mental objects left out.)
How about for the advanced results or the actual goal of direct knowledge; self-awakening; Unbinding. How can this duty lead to such profound results? Especially in the concentrated meditative state (the only way that the advanced results can emerge), where the 5 senses become stilled, what would be the grasping that leads to stress - which needs to be noted according to this Simsapa Sutta.
Discursive thoughts should be stilled in concentrated meditation. But I recall reading somewhere that directed thoughts should be done. When discursive, grasping thoughts are stilled, where should the directed thoughts be aimed at, to note "This is stress".
What is interesting to note is that in this Sutta, the Buddha emphasized that he taught only the 4 Noble Truths pertinent to the goal. And that by contemplating on the 4 Noble Truths alone, unbinding will be the final result.
Taken from http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn56/sn56.031.than.html :
*********************************************************
"Once the Blessed One was staying at Kosambi in the simsapa forest. Then, picking up a few simsapa leaves with his hand, he asked the monks, "What do you think, monks: Which are more numerous, the few simsapa leaves in my hand or those overhead in the simsapa forest?"
"The leaves in the hand of the Blessed One are few in number, lord. Those overhead in the simsapa forest are more numerous."
"In the same way, monks, those things that I have known with direct knowledge but have not taught are far more numerous [than what I have taught]. And why haven't I taught them? Because they are not connected with the goal, do not relate to the rudiments of the holy life, and do not lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding. That is why I have not taught them.
"And what have I taught? 'This is stress... This is the origination of stress... This is the cessation of stress... This is the path of practice leading to the cessation of stress': This is what I have taught. And why have I taught these things? Because they are connected with the goal, relate to the rudiments of the holy life, and lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding. This is why I have taught them.
"Therefore your duty is the contemplation, 'This is stress... This is the origination of stress... This is the cessation of stress.' Your duty is the contemplation, 'This is the path of practice leading to the cessation of stress.'"
**********************************
I'm not sure why Suttas have been quoted very often, but seldom dissected and its dissection presented to others. Maybe it's because I've not gone to any Sutta study class? Gaining direct experiential knowledge, mentioned in the Sutta above itself and which we can also call it according to our modern definition as empirical knowledge, is the best knowledge. But second to that for me is the priori knowledge gained through dissecting all these reliable things (Suttas being one of the most reliable sources). Even if the best teachers were to personally teach us, I believe that we have to study, learn & experience for ourselves so that knowledge become ours. So this is my version of the dissection of this Sutta:
Is our duty that simple as it appears to be from the paragraph of the Sutta above? It sounds too good to be true to me. In practice, things get ambiguous, with lots of second-guessing like "Is this dukkha?".
How do we correctly recognize stress, to say confidently that "This is stress"?
From the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta: Setting the Wheel of Dhamma in Motion, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn56/sn56.011.than.html :
I prefer the translation version by Harvey -
***************************************************
"Now this, bhikkhus, for the spiritually ennobled ones, is the true reality which is pain: birth is painful, aging is painful, illness is painful, death is painful; sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, unhappiness and distress are painful; union with what is disliked is painful; separation from what is liked is painful; not to get what one wants is painful; in brief, the five bundles of grasping-fuel are painful."
***************************************************
Ok, suppose that we now know how to identify stress. Then is recognizing, noting & stating that "This is stress" - encompassing the action of contemplating - all that is fundamentally necessary for unbinding? I cannot be certain of the degree of efficiency, but among these 7 touted results (some arguably overlapping) by the Buddha "lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding", I know I have experienced 2 results - calm & dispassion - whenever I note that "This is stress".
Although the word used is 'contemplate', I think that thinking 'This is stress' is very much a noting mental activity. When 'contemplate' mental activity is used, at least for me, there arises confusing, ambiguous second-guessing 'what exactly should I contemplate regarding this'.
I would say that Calm & Dispassion are the immediate results in regard to noting that something is stressful. Maybe we have to wait a long time to have the opportunity to note illness; death; lamentation; union with what is disliked; etc. But we have lots of opportunity to note the 'five bundles of grasping-fuel', that they are painful and stressful.
The action of Grasping is easy to see - so frequently we are grasping something new - tagging it accordingly as pleasant or unpleasant the moment we pick up attention on it. (Hmm...I wonder why only the 5 senses constitute the five bundles of grasping-fuel...why is the mental objects left out.)
How about for the advanced results or the actual goal of direct knowledge; self-awakening; Unbinding. How can this duty lead to such profound results? Especially in the concentrated meditative state (the only way that the advanced results can emerge), where the 5 senses become stilled, what would be the grasping that leads to stress - which needs to be noted according to this Simsapa Sutta.
Discursive thoughts should be stilled in concentrated meditation. But I recall reading somewhere that directed thoughts should be done. When discursive, grasping thoughts are stilled, where should the directed thoughts be aimed at, to note "This is stress".
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Travel to the Himalaya through the eyes of BBC
Wow, I'm watching Michael Palin - Himalaya and I got to see wonderful things:
Though bordered by Muslim towns, the Kalash live like the Hobbits. In a hidden valley - lost between the high mountain ranges and deep ravines - is a distinctly separated homeland with green pastures and the trickling sound of a stream which surrounds and travels through the heart of their homeland. Little boys and girls wearing brightly coloured headdress study together at the only small school in their homeland. (I like to call their place 'homeland' instead of 'village')
Really looking like an gigantic, undiscovered gold bar issin't. This picture is just amazing - even though I know nuts about photography, I like the line of symmetry effect, and the mirage-like, dreamy reflection on the dark lake. Dazzling & magestic.
1) Most Pakistan people (at least those on the Northwestern frontier) are not extremist militants - although they buy gun and upgrade them like we do with handphones. There live a tribal group, the Kalash people, in the North West Pakistan, and they have light colour eyes; some have blond hair; beautifully defined facial features; wearing colourfully ornate tradional garments, without having to cover up all skin, hair & nails except the eyeballs.
Though bordered by Muslim towns, the Kalash live like the Hobbits. In a hidden valley - lost between the high mountain ranges and deep ravines - is a distinctly separated homeland with green pastures and the trickling sound of a stream which surrounds and travels through the heart of their homeland. Little boys and girls wearing brightly coloured headdress study together at the only small school in their homeland. (I like to call their place 'homeland' instead of 'village') I love their eyes, faces and headdresses. This reminds me of the blue eyes of the Buddha mentioned in the 32 marks of The Buddha. I like to imagine that the Buddha had "very (abhi) blue (nila) eyes (netto)".
To some extent, I was interested in the Buddhist archaeology in the Afghan, Pakistan area (West of India). I read somewhere that there was once a huge Buddha statue carved into a mountain, with 2 big blue gem stones as the eyes of the statue, overlooking a village in a valley in the West of India. Those blue gem eyes reflected the moonlight in the nightsky to the village below. Beautifully picturesque.
More of Afghan and The Buddha:
The reclining Buddha: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7604519.stm
I hope the 3rd one in the Bamyan region will be found soon. The 3rd Buddha statue in Afghan is said to be the biggest of all 3. The standing one which the Taleban blew up for stupid and cowardly reasons - yes, I dare say Talebans are a bunch of cowards for being terrified of a statue that they have to detonate and eleminate it (their minds are so weak that they have to get rid of any external threats to their ideology. They should just go live on the moon. ); this reclining one, and another one yet to be discovered by said to be some to be somewhere underground). I hope I'm writting the right things.
2) The Sikhs are not like the Hindus! Oh my god, that was a BIG BOMB dropped. They are classless, priestless & equality loving. And they believed in only ONE god; no Shiva, no deities. And they have ONE ultimate GURU - Guru Granth, the holy book of the Sikh religion. So holy that HE (the book personified) needs to be carried above the head on a ornate pillow, travel on a palanquin, and finally laid to rest in a special chamber for the night to be woken at 2am the next day to head for the Golden Temple.
Really looking like an gigantic, undiscovered gold bar issin't. This picture is just amazing - even though I know nuts about photography, I like the line of symmetry effect, and the mirage-like, dreamy reflection on the dark lake. Dazzling & magestic.
The way they were worshipping the holy book reminds me of the holy Bible, the holy grail, and the holy of all holy places - Jerusalem.
3) There's even some light humour too! Never mind that Indians and Pakistanis hate each other to the core. Fellow Indian collegues at my workplace attested to this; and fellow Pakistani friend at the same workplace admittedly declared that aggression and warring instincts is in his bloodline (what an excuse). But at their border, they use mock humour to liven up their tensioning heavy duty as well as the nationalistic spectators.
LOL! Ridiculous issn't! Take a look at this for the full story on the Indian-Pakistan border performance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9y2qtaopbE
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)