I'm starting to feel that although I consume myself with Buddhist reads and TRY to meditate daily, I'm not anything better in person, character & mind from my few family members who also consider themself Buddhists but who don't read, meditate and in some case don't follow precepts as much as I do.
I don't think I'm more mindful, alert, caring, less greedy, patient, hardworking as them.
On the first point, unless I've decided on focus the attention on something like the breath movement, or the contact of my hand for a period of time, I stay on the path of mindfulness. Outside of these 2 boundaries, mindfulness is a come and go, unsustained affair.
What set me thinking is that my SO chidded that I'm a hypocrite - for trying to sound wise (I said something Buddhisty to him at that time which I've forgotten now) when I'm wearing a fancy watch & fancy ring among another things. I should have known better not to say anything that's Buddhisty.
But sometimes, I can't resist the urge to correct or help (at least that was my intention) by saying something Buddhisty. Sometimes, I think I'm just wasting my breath, even though I wish they could take some interest in learning the essential teachings of the Buddha.
But then again, my qualities are not better and in some cases worse than them. I think I need to go back to meditation guide book by Ajhan Brahm.