I'm starting to feel that although I consume myself with Buddhist reads and TRY to meditate daily, I'm not anything better in person, character & mind from my few family members who also consider themself Buddhists but who don't read, meditate and in some case don't follow precepts as much as I do.
I don't think I'm more mindful, alert, caring, less greedy, patient, hardworking as them.
On the first point, unless I've decided on focus the attention on something like the breath movement, or the contact of my hand for a period of time, I stay on the path of mindfulness. Outside of these 2 boundaries, mindfulness is a come and go, unsustained affair.
What set me thinking is that my SO chidded that I'm a hypocrite - for trying to sound wise (I said something Buddhisty to him at that time which I've forgotten now) when I'm wearing a fancy watch & fancy ring among another things. I should have known better not to say anything that's Buddhisty.
But sometimes, I can't resist the urge to correct or help (at least that was my intention) by saying something Buddhisty. Sometimes, I think I'm just wasting my breath, even though I wish they could take some interest in learning the essential teachings of the Buddha.
But then again, my qualities are not better and in some cases worse than them. I think I need to go back to meditation guide book by Ajhan Brahm.
I am forever grateful for anything "buddhisty" that can be added to my life. Too bad we don't cultivate more openmindedness in all of our religion of the world (I had a similar experience this weekend when I talked about meditation)
ReplyDelete"But sometimes, I can't resist the urge to correct or help (at least that was my intention) by saying something Buddhisty. Sometimes, I think I'm just wasting my breath, even though I wish they could take some interest in learning the essential teachings of the Buddha."
ReplyDeleteI think one of the issues here is the timing and intention of the comments. If the situation calls for saying something "Buddhisty," and your intention is sincerely to share something that has benefited you (different from correcting or even helping), then it's probably fine. However, a lot of the time, I notice that either the situation isn't calling for it, and/or I'm just "playing teacher" without realizing it.
I've found myself growing skeptical of the overly humble routine many of us Buddhists like to play. Am I more calm and patient than some of my friends and family? Probably sometimes I am. Other times probably not.
But if I go around saying to people "Oh, all this meditation, precept work, and whatnot has done nothing for me," it may be technically true in the absolute sense, but it just sounds like humble bullshit to those who know me.
Instead of concerning myself with better or worse comparisons, I've been trying more and more to reflect on what motivates me to want to help others in specific situations. Often, this happens after the fact, but at least it's a start towards awareness.
@Stella: Same thought here, I guess it really depends on how the individual is wired. Thankfully there exist all these Buddhist online community.
ReplyDelete@Nathan: I don’t believe in taking the absolute stand either - that I'm not like this and like that. But comparatively, I find myself falling short sometimes. Afterall we all are the striving, not the attained.
ReplyDeleteFrom my initial desire to help, due to my unmindfulness at that point of time, it evolved into negative emotions - 'Me wearing watch and ring is irrelevant! Can't you just for once think about what I said rather than being judge mental about me!' It shows my inconsistency.
I really like & agree with your insight on the humble bullshit many of us Buddhist like to play.
I definitely fall short sometimes as well.
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